Kalena Miller - The Night When No One Had Sex

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication data is on file with the publisher.

Text copyright 2021 by Kalena Miller

First published in the United States of America in 2021 by Albert Whitman & Company

ISBN 978-0-8075-5627-6 (hardcover)

ISBN 978-0-8075-5632-0 (ebook)

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced
or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical,
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Printed in the United States of America

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Jacket art by Suzanne Dias

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For my mom, whos read every word Ive ever written.

CONTENTS

THE BEST GROUP CHAT EVER

Group Chat

11:58 PM

Julia: WHOS READY TO DO THIS?!?!?!?

Zoe: Are you seriously texting during the last dance?

Julia: Its called multitasking. And so are you.

Zoe: Morgan and I bailed. Were waiting in the parking lot.

Today 12:00 AM: Julia named the conversation LETS DO THIS!!!

Morgan: Julia, you need to chill.

Julia: I cant chill. Do you know why?

Kevin: Nobody answer her.

Madison: Why lol?

Madison: Sorry Kev

Julia: BECAUSE ITS TIME FOR OUR FREAKING SEX PACT!!!!!

Morgan: Please dont call it that.

Julia: Fine. Its time for our intercourse agreement.

Morgan: Worse. So much worse.

Alex: Can we not talk about this around Leah? I dont want her to think Im a creep.

Julia: Leah doesnt think youre a creep. She thinks youre very nice and somewhat quiet.

Alex: How do you know that????

Julia: We were talking in the bathroom. OBVIOUSLY.

Alex: Fantastic. Just fantastic.

Zoe: Where are you guys? There are too many people.

Julia: Coming!

Alex: Same.

Julia: YAYAYAYAY!!!

Morgan: Madison? You and Jake coming?

Zoe

Do you see them?

I survey the crowd of teenagers in formal wear spilling into the parking lot. The guys are impossible to distinguish because they all rented the same half-price suit from Mens Warehouse. The girls arent much better. I thought I was being original when I chose this charcoal, two-piece ensemble, but apparently dark colors are popular this year. Ninety percent of the laughing girls running across the asphalt are wearing navy or black.

Should I have gone with the red dress? Morgan asks.

You look gorgeous in this one. I finger the blue chiffon skirt that falls just above her knees. The bodice is a fun geometric print, but she did manage to choose the same color palette as every other girl in the senior class. Predicting trends is a complicated science, I explain. And when you consider all the variablesregion, socioeconomic status, access to consumer goodsI imagine its nearly impossible to accurately predict fashion trends like prom dresses.

Interesting, Morgan says in a tone conveying no interest whatsoever. Do you think Madison will ride with us? Or with Jake?

I dont know.

Thats a lie. In fact, I am very certain Madison will ride with Jake because (1) Hes her boyfriend, (2) They drove here together, and (3) There arent enough seats in Kevins minivan for all of us. If Morgan were to assess the situation logically, this would be obvious to her, but my girlfriend is rarely logical when it comes to her twin sister.

Are we sure this is Kevins car? I ask. Distraction is often the best course of action when Morgan starts obsessing. And there were a substantial number of students driving minivans to prom this year. Minivans belonging to their parents, but minivans nonetheless.

YUP!

Holy shit I shriek as a sweaty human latches herself on to my back. I shrug my shoulders free and turn around to find a grinning Julia. Shes pulled her blond hair into a ponytail and her cheeks are flushed with excitement. Standing behind her with one arm around her waist is her boyfriend, Kevin.

Are you guys ready for tonight? Julia bounces on her toes and tugs on Kevins arm like a puppy. Sex pact! Sex pact! Sex pact!

Kevin tries to shush his girlfriend, but her energy is contagious and soon theyre jumping around together. Morgan sighs pointedly. Shes never been one for public displays of affection. Or public displays of giddiness in this case.

As we wait for the others to arrive, I consider the sex pacts probability of success.

Julia and Kevin are a slam dunk. Theyve been best friends since they were three, and theyve been boyfriend-girlfriend since they were fifteen. Im surprised theyve made it this far without going all the way, especially when you consider how much time they spend in this very minivan instead of going to lunch. Id give them a ninety percent chance. Maybe ninety-five percent. Julia rarely gives up on something once shes made up her mind. And the sex pact was her idea.

Hey, guys. Alex and Leah join us outside the car. To her credit, Julia shuts up. Alex and Leah met for the first time five hours ago, when we all gathered in Alexs backyard to take cheesy prom photos. He was the only one of us without a date, so Julia worked her magic and set him up with her lab partner.

Alex and Leah are decidedly not part of the sex pact. I wouldnt judge anyone who wanted to have sex on a first date, but thats not Alexs style. I had to reassure him twenty times my uncle had two cabinets full of DVDs and every streaming service imaginable before he agreed to join us for the sleepover.

Are we ready to go? Kevin asks. Its going to be a zoo getting out of here.

We have to wait for Madison, Morgan says, her eyes darting around the parking lot.

I thought she was riding with Jake, Kevin says.

Yeah, I saw her getting into his car, Julia says. We dont have room anyway.

Kevin unlocks the van, and Julia crawls into the farthest-back seat, her purple dress snagging on an armrest. She motions for Leah to follow her. Kevin is the only person allowed to operate his moms vehicle, so he circles around to the drivers seat.

You want shotgun? Alex asks me. Its your uncles cabin.

No, you navigate. While I possess above-average intelligence in a variety of arenas, spatial awareness has never been my strength. Ill text you the address, and you can map it.

Sounds good. Alex slides into the front seat, leaving me and Morgan standing alone outside the minivan.

Come on. I take Morgans hand. Madison will be fine.

Shes the opposite of fine. Shes participating in Julias stupid sex pact with her stupid boyfriend. How could that possibly be fine?

I dont have an easy answer for her. I know from personal experience Morgans not against having sex, but shes very much against Madison having sex with Jake. I sympathize with her point of view. Jake is nice in a goofy, clueless sort of way, but hes also a varsity baseball player whos headed to college next fall on an athletic scholarship. He and Madison have zero long-term potential. With the way Morgan and Madison have been arguing lately, though, Madison might have sex just to piss off her sister.

You have to trust her. Its a weak argument, but its all Ive got. We need to get moving if we want to avoid spending the next hour in traffic.