John Lennon - Skywriting by Word of Mouth

ID always had a fantasy about a woman who would be a beautiful, intelligent, dark-haired, high-cheek-boned, free-spirited artist ( la Juliette Greco).

My soul mate.

Someone that I had already known, but somehow had lost.

After a short visit to India on my way home from Australia, the image changed slightlyshe had to be a dark-eyed Oriental. Naturally, the dream couldnt come true until I had completed the picture.

Now it was complete.

Of course as a teenager, my sexual fantasies were full of Anita Ekberg and the usual giant Nordic goddesses. That is, until Brigitte Bardot became the love of my life in the late Fifties. All my girlfriends who werent dark-haired suffered under my constant pressure to become Brigitte. By the time I married my first wife (who was, I think, a natural auburn), she too had become a long-haired blonde with the obligatory bangs.

Met the real Brigitte a few years later. I was on acid and she was on her way out.

I finally met Yoko and the dream became a reality.

The only woman Id ever met who was my equal in every way imaginable. My better, actually. Although Id had numerous interesting affairs in my previous incarnation, Id never met anyone worth breaking up a happily-married state of boredom for.

Escape, at last! Someone to leave home for! Somewhere to go. Id waited an eternity.

Since I was extraordinarily shy (especially around beautiful women), my daydreams necessitated that she be aggressive enough to save me, i.e., take me away from all this. Yoko, although shy herself, picked up my spirits enough to give me the courage to get the hell out, just in time for me to avoid having to live with my ex-wifes new nose. She also had had side-interests, much to the surprise of my pre-liberated male ego.

They got the new nose. And I got my dream woman. Yoko.

Having been brought up in the genteel poverty of a lower-middle-class environment, I should not have been surprised by the outpouring of race-hatred and anti-female malice to which we were subjected in that bastion of democracy, Great Britain (including the now-reformed Michael Caine, who said something through his cute Cockney lisp to the effect that I cant see why ee dont find a nice English girl). What a riot! One of our boys leaving his Anglo-Saxon (whatever that is) hearth and home and taking up with a bloody Jap to boot! Doesnt he know about The Bridge on the River Kwai? Doesnt he remember Pearl Harbour!

The English press had a field day venting all their pent-up hatred of foreigners on Yoko. It must have been hard for them: what with the Common Market and all, theyd had to lay off hating frogs, wogs, clogs, krauts, and eye-ties (in print, that is), not to mention the jungle bunnies. It was humiliating and painful for both of us to have her described as ugly and yellow and other derogatory garbage, especially by a bunch of beer-bellied, rednecked aging hacks; you are what you eat and think. We know what they eat and are told what to think: their masters leftovers.

It was hard for Yoko to understand, having been recognized all her life as one of the most beautiful and intelligent women in Japan. The racism and sexism were overt. I was ashamed of Britain. Even though I was full of race and anti-female prejudice myself (buried deep where it had been planted), I still bought that English fairy story about the Yanks being the racists: Not us, old boy, it just wouldnt be cricket. The Gentlemans Agreement runs from top to bottom. But I must say Ive found on my travels that every race thinks its superior to every other; the same with class (the American myth being they have no class system).

It was a horrifying experience. I thought of asking Johnny Dankworth and Cleo Lane for advice, but never did (they were the only other biracial couple Id heard of in Britain). The press led the howling mob, and the foul-mouthed Silent Majority followed suit. The hate mail from the cranks was particularly inspiring; I tried to publish it at Jonathan Cape but they thought... Still, it made a change from the begging letters which always coincided with whatever well-publicized particular problems we were facing at the moment, e.g.,

Im sorry to hear of your wifes recent miscarriage. We, too, have suffered the same tragedy as you, sir, but unlike your good selves do not have the wherewithal to purchase a nice semidetached in the south of France, and as you have so much money, you would be making a 100-year-old spastic and his deaf wife and little crippled children very happy. Sir, its not too much to ask,... etc.

Or:

I, too, was planted and wrongfully arrested by the world-renowned British police [another myth down the drain], and also recently narrowly escaped death in a car crash in Scotland, and wondered if you could see your way to helping a blind priest and his invalid mother get to church on Sundays... etc., etc., etc.

And was Jerusalem builded there? I doubt it.

Apart from giving me the courage to break out of the Stockbroker Belt... Yoko also gave me the inner strength to look more closely at my other marriage. My real marriage. To the Beatles, which was more stifling than my domestic life. Although I had thought of it often enough, I lacked the guts to make the break earlier.

My life with the Beatles had become a trap. A tape loop. I had made previous short excursions on my own, writing books, helping convert them into a play for the National Theatre. Id even made a movie without the others (a lousy one at that, directed by that zany man in search of power, Dick Lester). But I had made the movie more in reaction to the fact that the Beatles had decided to stop touring than with real independence in mind. Although even then (1965) my eye was already on freedom.

Basically, I was panicked by the idea of having nothing to do. What is life, without touring? Life, thats what. I always remember to thank Jesus for the end of my touring days; if I hadnt said that the Beatles were bigger than Jesus and upset the very Christian Ku Klux Klan, well, Lord, I might still be up there with all the other performing fleas! God bless America. Thank you, Jesus.

When I finally had the guts to tell the other three that I, quote, wanted a divorce, unquote, they knew it was for real, unlike Ringo and Georges previous threats to leave. I must say I felt guilty for springing it on them at such short notice. After all, I had Yokothey only had each other. I was guilty enough to give McCartney credit as a co-writer on my first independent single instead of giving it to Yoko, who had actually co-authored it (Give Peace a Chance).