Michael Wigge - How to Barter for Paradise: My Journey through 14 Countries, Trading Up from an Apple to a House in Hawaii

Copyright 2014 by Michael Wigge
English translation copyright 2014 by Skyhorse Publishing
Photos copyright 2014 by Michael Wigge

Originally published by Bastei Lbbe GmbH & Co. KG, Kln in Germany

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eISBN: 978-1-62873-879-7

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available on file.

ISBN: 978-1-62636-417-2

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M ars, Pluto, and Jupiter were my constant companions when I was a child and nothing fascinated me more than the universe. I still remember how one Christmas I asked for every book that had anything to do with the realm of the stars. Of course, I also asked for the newest toy space station with a moon unit and extra intergalactic telescope. One year later I got a real telescope. Its 32X magnification, additional finder scope, and various sunlight filters infinitely increased my desire to be near the stars. But before the Easter Bunny even came in the spring, my telescope had disappeared from the living room cabinet. My fear of the neighbor, whom I observed with my telescope and who had made it clear with his emphatic waving that he would rather watch his evening TV show alone, created knots in the pit of my stomach.

So, for better or worse, I focused on the things that our own planet had to offer. I devoted myself to the far-flung regions of the earthinitially with my student atlas. The most far-flung region that I could find was, without a doubt, the group of islands known as Hawaii. That moment, I declared Hawaii as my dream destination. White beaches kissed by low-hanging palms, tropical mountain peaks, water as clear as glass... During puberty, the fantasy of flower-bedecked, dancing Hawaiian girls added itself to this enticing list. So what was more fitting than the thought of owning my own home there? A Hawaiian dream house!

From then on, the front of my wardrobe was decorated with a poster of Hawaii, which I unfortunately had to cut in half to continue opening the doors. The sides of it were gradually decorated with Hawaiian postcards, maps of the islands, and of course, the state license plate with the famous rainbow.

The Hawaiian dream house unfortunately remained a dream as I started my career; however, I was able to live out my wanderlust. I didnt just gaze at my student atlasI traveled to seventy countries and made my passion into a career by writing about my travels. I was a curious visitor to the Yanomami Indians in the Amazon who laughed at me for managing to miss shooting an anteater that was so close by. I was able to visit bizarre capsule hotels in Tokyo and I went up against Sumo wrestlers. At the Spanish Tomatina Festival, I wore white and had tomatoes thrown at me. I traveled to Antarctica on an expedition ship, and Queen Elizabeth gave me a stern look when I showed up to her fiftieth Jubilee at Buckingham Palace dressed as Prince Henry VIII (no joke).

But none of that ever got me a house in Hawaii. What to do? Should I travel to Hawaii and appear on a millionaire bachelorette show? Or would a headline appear in a tabloid one day proclaiming, German Travel Writer Behind Bars after Attempting to Squat in a House in Hawaii! Unlikely!

I remembered that on my last trip through North America I had met a young Canadian who successfully bartered up from a paper clip to a house within a year on an online bartering website. A paperclip as the down payment on a housenot bad, I thought! Even if the house wasnt in sunny Hawaii.

Unfortunately, Im not very good at closing deals online (Ive still never won an auction on eBay), and also unfortunately, I didnt have a year to spend on the project. Nevertheless, the idea fascinated me. Why couldnt I do what I had been doing for yearstravelling the worldexcept this time, I would barter. I would give myself six months to travel the world and barter, barter, barter. In this way I could learn an unbelievable amount about trading and the value of goods in different culturesfascinating! And totally coincidentally, I would get closer and closer to my dream. At the end, I could unlock the door to my Hawaiian dream house. Sounds simple enough, right?

It wasnt simple at all. But I was lucky: my reputation as a man of extravagant travels preceded me. The German TV station ZDFneo offered to finance my bartering world tour along with two cameramen, Jakob and Dominik. The deal was that I had to make my bartered-for house in Hawaii available to anyonethe viewers and readerswho wanted to vacation there and could offer a trade for it. I would have two hundred days and I had to set foot on all six continents to learn about and report on the culture of barter on each of them. I accepted the offer enthusiastically. Soon, I would be moving into my house in Hawaii as a bartering expert!

Standing in her apartment doorway, my neighbor burst into laughter when I told her about my plan. She said I could leave the key to my apartment with her if I decided I never wanted to come back from Hawaii. I watched her walk down the stairs and heard her murmur as she shook her head: A house in Hawaii... what nonsense.... No wonder the natives and the Queen thought he was ridiculous!

Maybe she was right. But twenty-five years had gone by since I hung that poster of Hawaii on my wardrobe. The way I saw it, it was time to get down to it and make this dream a reality. I believe everyone should try to fulfill their dreams sometime in their lives. Who doesnt have one of those constant dreams that accompanies them through life? And theres always that voice in your head saying that it isnt a good idea, isnt appropriate, isnt realistic, and that you couldnt do it anyway.

But this voice might be wrong. And so, after a twenty-five-year delay, I was off.

I m standing at a little fruit stand in Mainz, attempting to buy an applemy first object to barter with. It needs to be a pretty, healthy, delicious applean organic one. In Berlin organic is trendy.

I proudly explain my project to the salesman. I tell him that this very apple is my startup capital for a Hawaiian dream house, and that Im well on the path to fulfilling a childhood dream via persistent bartering. But before I can trade my seventy-nine cents for the organic apple, the salesmans mood darkens. These young people with their crazy ideas. Always more, always farther away, always knowing better. Theyre never happy with what they have. Can anyone these days still enjoy the simple things?