Scott Sams - Trump Wins/ Dems Lose!: The 2020 Republican Jokebook

TRUMP WINS/
DEMS LOSE!

The 2020 RepublicanJokebook

by Scott Sams

TRUMP WINS/ DEMS LOSE!:

The 2020 Republican Jokebook

by Scott Sams

Copyright 2019, 2018, 2017 A. Garner

No part of this publication may be reproduced,distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, includingphotocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods,without the prior written permission of the author, except in thecase of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certainother noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.

First Edition, July 29, 2019

Smashwords Edition LicenseNotes:

This free ebook may be copied, distributed,reposted, reprinted and shared, provided it appears in its entiretywithout alteration, and the reader is not charged to access it.

Party Symbol:

Republicans: Theelephant, one of the largest and most powerful creatures onearth.

Democrats: Ajackass.

Favorite Drink:

Democrats: Importedwater from Fiji

Republicans: Beer

Favorite Diet:

Democrats: Sushi,tofu, gluten-free, raw vegetables.

Republicans: Burgers,Steak and potatoes.

Favorite Pastimes:

Democrats: Spendingother peoples money

Republicans: Makingmoney

Favorite Occupations:

Democrats: Dogwalkers, Uber drivers, Hug Therapists, Trade Unionists, Temps

Republicans: Police,Firemen, Soldiers, Executives

Favorite Smoke:

Democrats: Pot

Republicans: Cigars

Favorite Initials:

Democrats: COD, NPR,DACA, AWOL, NARAL, ACLU, LBGTQ

Republicans: MAGA,NRA, FOX, NFL, CEO

Favorite Heroes:

Democrats: JesseJackson, Al Sharpton, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, Obama, Clinton,Hillary, Nancy Pelosi, Jimmy Kimmel, Bernie, Alec Baldwin, WhoopieGoldberg

Republicans: PresidentRonald Reagan, President Trump, General Dwight David Eisenhower,President George HW Bush

One more: General GeorgePatton , U.S. Army, one of the most successful fieldcommanders in history, wrote, Politicians are the lowest life formon earth. Liberal Democrats arethe lowest form of Politician.

Favorite Ways of GettingRich:

Democrats: Winning thelottery. Suing for personal injuries

Republicans: Spendingless than they earn and saving and investing the rest. Building abusiness with hard work and long hours.

Favorite Songs:

Republicans: God Bless theUSA by Lee Greenwood:

...And Im proud to be an American

Where at least I know Im free.

And I wont forget the men who died

Who gave that right to me...

Democrats: No Justice, NoPeace by Unknown:

No justice, no peace.

No justice, no peace.

No justice, no peace.

ad infinitum

OR...WHY ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK!

Q: Why is Donald Trumpthe perfect leader for the Republican Party, a party whose symbolis an elephant?

A: Like the elephant,he is big, bold, a bit unpredictable, roars a lot-Youd be betteroff staying out of his way!

Trump draws large crowds everywhere he goes. TheDemocrats dont, yet they claim they represent the American people! They callthemselves the Resistance, but all theyre really resisting is thewill of the American people.

To get you warmed up, match one word from the leftcolumn with a name from the right:

(You couldnt be wrong! Trump has called each ifthese people crazy.)

Like another easy one?

(Again, you get 100! All answers are correct!)

How about one with a familiar name?

(Give yourself an A!)

Fill in the blanks:

One of Mr. Trumps toughest opponents in 2020 is JoeBiden. Fill in the blanks with some nicknames Mr. Trump has givenhim. Ill give you a head start with the first letter:

1. C_________________

2. S_______________________

3. S____________________C______________________

4. S_______________________________

Answers: 1: Crazy 2.Sleepy 3. Sleepy Creepy 4. Swampman

Ted Cruz used to be LyinTed. Whats his nickname now that hes on the TrumpTrain?:

_____________________________

(Beautiful Ted)

Trumps nicknames often try to convey the one thinghe wants to convey about his opponents. Along those lines, thinkhard. Whats his nickname for BobMueller , whos expected to be giving a very interestingQ&A to Congress July 24th?:

_____________________________

(High Conflicted Bob Muller)

How about 3 nicknames for House MajorityLeader Nancy Pelosi ?:

1. _______________________________

2. __________________________________________

3. ____________________________________

(1. High Tax, High Crime Nancy Pelosi) (2. MS-13Lover Nancy Pelosi) (3. Crazy Nancy Pelosi)

How are Democrats like noodles?

a. Theyre always in hot water.

b. They lack taste.

c. They always need more dough.

Why do therapists charge Democrats half price?

Because theyre so simple to figure out.

How do we know that Lois Lane was a Democrat?

She was always looking for someone to save her.

Whats the difference between Democrats and Treasurybonds?

Treasury bonds mature.

Why do women cry at Democrat weddings?

Youd cry too if you knew the guys theyremarrying.

When Democrats get together, where do they meet?

In the Whine Garden.

How do Democrats hold on to their dreams?

They push the snooze button.

What is a Democrats idea of fairness?

Having their cake and eating yours too!

How are Democratic ideals like bananas?

The older they get, the less firm they become.

The Benefits of HigherTaxes

Why the Government Can Spend YourMoney Better than You Can

Why the Government Needs to GetBigger

Why Illegal Aliens Should BecomeCitizens

Why Football Players are Right toTake the Knee

The Benefits of RentControl

Sanctuary Cities and States: TheFuture Looks Bright!

More Bureaucracy, BetterBureaucracy

Illegal Aliens Deserve to have thesame Rights as Citizens!

Date Wanted: Republicans Only NeedApply

Befuddle a Democrat: UseLogic

Youre Lucky Your Parents Said NOto Abortion!