Valerie Katz - The News from Arkansas: Sense of Humor Required

THE News from
Arkansas

SENSE OF HUMOR REQUIRED

VALERIE KATZ

THE NEWS FROM ARKANSAS
SENSE OF HUMOR REQUIRED

Copyright 2018 Valerie Katz.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

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ISBN: 978-1-5320-4807-4 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-5320-4809-8 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-5320-4808-1 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2018905700

iUniverse rev. date: 11/14/2018

Contents

Chapter 1

Sunny Southern California, 2007

In March 2007, I was getting ready for work. My boyfriend, David, who was not getting ready for work, as he was already retired , hollered at me from his warm cozy bed. Honey, Eric Estrada is inviting us to Arkansas for the weekend. Come look at this beautiful place. We havent been anywhere in a while, and its free. Lets go! You knowjust to look around.

Eric Estrada? The actor?

The first time I met David was at a country-western bar. We were taking a group dance lesson. You would dance with one guy, and then every few minutes you would shift to the next one. When David came around for the second time, I was so proud of myself. Id actually remembered his name! I looked up and said, Hi. Its Dave, isnt it? Now, he is a full foot taller than I am, and he looked down his nose at me and said, My name is David .

Well , I thought. La dee da .

I certainly remembered him! However, I didnt speak to him for fifteen years. I even went to a party at his home with a friend of mine and didnt speak to him then. He was that snotty David. He, of course, had absolutely no idea who I was.

I wanted to learn how to do the West Coast swing, so I was out in a club one night, where I ran into Richard, a friend of Davids. He said if I wanted to learn how to do the West Coast swing, I should take the lessons from his roommate. When he pointed his roommate out to me, it was David Katz! Well, when my feet are cold because hell is freezing over, thats when Ill take a lesson from David Katz.

But Richard said David was the best teacher for beginnersand I really wanted to learnso I started taking lessons from David.

One Friday night, I was in a club where David was giving lessons and DJing. He came up and asked if I would like to go dancing up in Ventura on Sunday. I was taken completely by surprise and stammered, Yes.

The next day, I called my friend Charlotte and said, You wont believe it, but I think I have a date with that snotty David on Sunday.

She said, What do you mean you think you have a date? You sound like a twelve-year-old!

David called later that day and asked if we were still on for dancing.

When I asked if it was an outing for the class, he said, No, it is not a class trip. Do you still want to go?

When I said yes, he said he would pick me up.

Ventura was an hour from my house, and his house was on the way, so I told him I would meet him there.

We went to Ventura, danced all afternoon, and had a wonderful time. He was so warm and friendly. I completely changed my mind about him. I had mentioned that the Hungry Hunter was my absolute favorite restaurant, and on the way home, nothing would do but that we stop there for dinner.

When we got back to Davids house, and my car, it was about nine oclock. David asked me to come in, and when I said no, he gave me the sweetest little kiss and helped me into my car. I really needed to get homemy dogs needed to be fed!

After that, I saw him at my regular dance classes, but our day of dancing was not mentioned. I figured he wasnt interested in dating me.

About three weeks later, he came up behind me at the Friday-night dance and said, Its too bad I dont play golf.

I asked him why, and he said, If I did, then maybe Id have a chance with you.

I answered, You probably would if you just picked up the phone and gave me a call. I said it ever so sweetly and with a smile.

We fell in love and decided I should move in with him. I had been single for more than thirty years, raising my family and not budging from my home. It was a very big change! There were some very surprised reactions from family and friends when I sent out we are moving notes.

The we was me and a seventy-pound Rottweiler named Hoover. You should have seen the look on Davids face when I said, Love melove my dog. My son Larry and his family were set to move into my home, and David wanted to know why Larry wasnt going to keep the dog. I informed him, in no uncertain terms, that Larry would love to but that Hoover was my dog.

He said he would have to think about that and headed home. When he arrived there a whole fifteen minutes later, he said he had it all worked out. He would put in a doggy door from the laundry room to the garage and another one from the garage to the backyard. Hoover was welcome.

There had never been a dog in his house. When an old roommate of his found out about the dog, she said she would give us three months. Things have been going great so farI hope we can get an extension. He and Hoover were mad for each other. I told him I was going to have to sue for alienation of affection. Since he is retired, he takes her everywhere. He takes her to the dog park for walks and even to the bank. When he left to go someplace without her, she sat at the door and cried until I hollered, Hey, Im still here. Ungrateful wench. Anyway, he is a love and wants to make me happy. My mom and the kids all like him; I guess we are ahead of the game.

David took me to many places to look for a better place to retire. Los Angeles was out of the question, he advised. My answer was always the same: No! It was set in stone. When he asked me what I wanted, I always answered, When I look out my windows, I want to see green. He finally realized Palm Springs or Vegas was never going to fly. When asked what he wanted, his answer was always the same too: a three-car garage (my man has tools) and a room big enough for his dance studio. He wanted to continue giving his lessons.

Bella Vista was as beautiful as advertised, lush and green, set in the Ozark Mountains with golf courses and lakes all over the place. It was a three-hour flight to get there, and I hadnt a clue where we had landed. We met a nice couple in the bar, and I asked, Where is Arkansas? Where are we?

They said, About halfway across the country and little bit south.

I knew all I needed to know. I fell in love with Bella Vista Village.

Gone was the girl who had announced loud and long, Im not moving! I will always live right here. My four children, six grandchildren, momwho was almost ninetytwo sisters, and brother were all within an hour and a half of me. My children had been unofficially forbidden to move more than an hour and a half from their mother! I wasnt going anywhere.