Miller writes with candor, humility, and a wealth of knowledge borne of both experience and study. This book should be in the hands of every leader in the church and every follower of Christ. Equal parts handbook for what to do when sexual abuse happens and narrative for how to empathize with and care for victims of sexual abuse, Healing Together is a must-read.
L ORE F ERGUSON W ILBERT, AUTHOR OF H ANDLE WITH C ARE (2020)
Healing Together casts a compelling vision for the support of sexual assault survivors. It is a practical guide and first-aid resource written with the wisdom, honesty, and understanding of a survivor. This book explains clearly the effects of trauma, which is vital to our response and care for survivors. We will assign it in seminary courses we teach on preventing, recognizing, and responding to abuse.
J USTIN S. H OLCOMB AND L INDSEY A. H OLCOMB , AUTHORS OF R ID OF M Y D ISGRACE AND I S I T M Y F AULT? J USTIN IS A BOARD MEMBER OF GRACE.
This is the most well-rounded book on abuse Ive read to date. It is the perfect balance of personal narrative, spiritual implications, medical definitions, and practical application. This is an invaluable resource. Thank you for telling your story and sharing your expertise, Anne!
J IMMY H INTON, PASTOR, ADVOCATE, HOST OF T HE S PEAKING O UT ON S EX A BUSE P ODCAST
Anne Miller has penned a forthright narrative of how a pastor sexually abused her as a kid and how the Southern Baptist Convention betrayed her when she reported it. Thankfully, she doesnt offer up platitudes for such traumas, but rather, in this bandage of a book, she simply seeks to help people help survivors. And in that sort of heart-sourced help, there is hope.
C HRISTA B ROWN, AUTHOR OF T HIS L ITTLE L IGHT
An incredibly practical book on how to love the broken in our midst. This is a love letter to the church, asking her to rise up, put on empathys shoes, and weep alongside the weeping. Millers heart for others, her spot-on typification of trauma, and her love for Jesus emanate from these help-filled pages. Highly recommended.
M ARY D E M UTH, AUTHOR OF W E T OO
Rarely do you read a book from someone who is a survivor of sexual assault, a gifted writer, a student of trauma and abuse, and an advocate for other survivors. But Anne Marie is all of those. She uncovers the relatively hidden world of sexual trauma that only we survivors and trauma therapists see. Remarkably, she has distilled complex concepts and made them straight-forward without over-simplifying. This is a stand-alone achievement.
M IKE P HILLIPS, COAUTHOR OF O VERCOMING P ORN
Pastors, friends, and family members of survivors, if you have a desire to understand the heart of a survivor and know the many different phases of grief we experience, Healing Together will open your eyes to the ugliness of clergy abuse and how it affects the heart and life of a survivor years later.
Survivors will find themselves agreeing with many of the emotions that are evident in the pages of this book as Miller walks through her journey.
Raw, heart-wrenching, and eye-opening, Millers story grabbed my attention, and many times, I found myself sobbing. While I remain an active member of a Southern Baptist church, this book is a knowledgeable read and worth your time, whether you are a believer, Southern Baptist, survivor, or have a desire to learn more.
M EGAN N ICHOLS L IVELY , SBC ADVOCATE AND SURVIVOR
ZONDERVAN REFLECTIVE
Healing Together
Copyright 2019 by Anne Marie Miller
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ePub Edition September 2019: ISBN 978-0-310-11209-9
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To Charlotte
I dont understand how God found me worthy enough to be your mom, but its the greatest privilege in the world, and my greatest joy. Youre the most amazing girl I know. Your hugs are epic. I love you, monster. Beep, beep.
Dont participate in the fruitless works of darkness, but instead expose them.
E PHESIANS 5:11 CSB
L ORD my God, I called to you for help,
and you healed me.
P SALM 30:2
Carry one anothers burdens; in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.
G ALATIANS 6:2 CSB
To supporters and loved ones of sexual abuse survivorsHealing Together is not an easy read. It is full of words and acts that we have been told never to speak about, especially in church. For far too long, we have looked the other way, whether it be out of discomfort, shame, fear, or survival.
You will be uncomfortable reading this book. You should be. Abuse should make us uncomfortable, sad, and angry. If you need to put it down for a moment, take a deep breath, and go for a walk, please do. But pick it up again. We must stare these evils in the face and confront them as we walk alongside survivors who have endured them. The reason sexual abuse has continued to perpetuate in modern society is because for too long many people have not been willing to stand under the immense weight and grief and evil that it causes. It isnt easy, but its necessary, now more than ever.
But if you find yourself becoming overwhelmed to the point of despair while you read this book, please reach out for help. Talking to a trusted friend, counselor, or leader is key as you process this. We dont need to be perfect to help someone, but we do need to be healthy. Do not sacrifice your own physical, emotional, mental, or spiritual health as you take this on. I recommend you read this book as a group so that you can process the difficult truths you find and can converse openly about how it affects you. In Galatians 6:2, we learn we should carry each others burdens, and processing the content of this book with those in your trusted community is one of the ways you can do just that.