ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
I wanted to take a moment to thank all of the incredible people that made this book possible. First, I thank you, reader! If youve gotten this far you must have really enjoyed it! Thank you for spending your money on this form of entertainment. Likewise, thank you to all the people who have paid money to see me perform over the years. Without an audience, there is no medium. And without promotion, it is very hard to draw an audience. So, I want to thank all of the media folks out there who have willingly promoted me. A big thanks to Springfield, IL radio icon Jim Leach, who is always willing to help.
The entire team at Clovercroft Publishing worked incredibly hard, from start to edit to proofread to layout to finish. I am grateful for them. They took a chance on me, as have so many comedy club owners, talent scouts, agents, and executives. Comedians like David Scott, Chris Speyrer, and David Graham have helped and mentored me for decades. Thank you all for believing in me.
The comedy business is a long road of physical, mental, and emotional turmoil. My friends, family, and especially my wife, have helped me along the way, and I thank them. Similarly, so many old friends and associates were willing to stick their neck out for me to endorse this book, and I thank them as well.
Had the people of Dawson, Illinois not voted for me, this story never would have happened. So to my friends in my hometown, thank you!
Last but not least, I thank God, through whom all things are possible.
DISCLAIMER
This book is a work of fiction. Although it is based on a true story, characters, businesses, dialogue, events and incidents are significantly exaggerated or concocted entirely for comedic effect.
This novels story and characters are fictitious. Certain long-standing institutions, agencies, public offices, and notable public figures are mentioned, but in no way should the characters, businesses, dialogue, events, or incidents be interpreted as true or factual in any way.
This book is merely based upon the authors present recollections of experiences over time and is not an accurate representation of reality. Names and characteristics have been concocted, businesses have been concocted, dialogue has been concocted, and events and incidents have been concocted. As such, it is a work of fiction.
Again, this book should not be interpreted as factual. Additionally, there is no intention whatsoever for this book to defame anyone. There is no intention to damage anyones reputation or to harm anyone in any way.
MORE INFORMATION
To learn more about Jeremy Nunes or to inquire about hiring him for your next event, visit www.jeremynunes.com.
You can follow Jeremy on social media at facebook.com/comedianjeremynunes, on Twitter @jeremynunes, on Instagram @frontporchcomedy, on TikTok @frontporchcomedy, and on Parler @jeremynunes.
The Dynamite Drop In podcast is available on all major podcast platforms.
Jeremys comedy special Whos With Me?! is available on Amazon Prime, ChristianCinema.com, and ChristianBook.com.
Jeremys comedy special Neighborhood Sasq-watch is available on the Dry Bar Comedy app.
CHAPTER 1
IT STARTED WITH A BANK
The most common question people ask me when they find out I delayed my career as a comedian to work as a small-town mayor is, Why would you do that to yourself?! The answer is that I ran for office as a joke. I registered my name on the ballot as Comedian Jeremy Nunes. Then, I distributed fliers with my campaign slogan: Put a Real Joker in Office.
Of course, that is how I answer the question to be funny. The real answer is that I never intended to be a mayor. I never had any plans or aspirations to be in a political position. As I traveled across the United States doing comedy, I performed in some really gorgeous small towns. After seeing so many of these amazing towns, I started to think, Why isnt my town like this?
If you have ever started a business of any kind, you know the reputation-building can be tough. As I paid my dues as a full timer in the comedy business, money was tight. When I left Chicago to return to my hometown of Dawson, Illinois, I was the typical starving artist. Simultaneously, I regularly talked to people in my town about the amazing towns I saw across the country and the great ideas those towns had. The more people I talked to, the more they urged me to run for the Town Council. I wasnt quite sure, but when I was told that Id get paid $75 a month, I was sold! Its not much, especially considering the headaches you endure, but it was a significant amount for me.
In Spring 2011, I launched my campaign. Of the three council members who were up for reelection, none ran for their seats. This, of course, should have been a warning! Three people had the chance to get away and took it! Instead of recognizing the warning, I viewed it as an opportunity to get my money! Longtime Councilman Barry Vance offered some assistance. He wasnt running for reelection, and said hed be thrilled if I were to get it. My longtime friend Matt Butler made a living as a campaign strategist, so he took control of the campaign.
In all, there were five people running for three seats. Aside from me, there was the former fire chief and a guy I went to high school with, Mike Madison. There was former Mayor Greg Emerson and his daughter Sharon Yount. The fifth was Rita Robins, a longtime friend of current Mayor Carl Donaldson. I suspected that Mike Madison was quite popular and would be the top vote-getter. Greg Emerson had been the mayor and was a popular one at that. I suspected he was a lock for the second spot. That left the final spot up for grabs between Rita Robins, Sharon Yount, and me.
With my friend Matt at the helm, we launched a campaign that would be comparable to a congressional battle. Using my own money, I mailed an endorsement letter from the very popular Barry Vance, with his permission, to every registered voter in the town. I paid to have campaign brochures made, which were written by Matt. Then, one by one, I knocked on the door of every registered voter in the town and hand delivered those pamphlets. I was even brave enough to knock on the door of my opponents!! I waited until the weekend before the election to do this, because I didnt want to leave time for my opponents to react. It was my version of the October surprise.
On election night, the votes were in. I won! Not only did I win, but I was hands down the top vote-getter! Mike Madison came in second, and Rita Robins came in third, barely edging out Greg Emerson. Sharon Yount came in dead last, gathering something like eight total votes. I was as giddy as a pageant girl at the county fair. I later heard that Sharon was so unpopular that people in her own family didnt vote for her!
On the council, I quickly got a reputation for being fearless as well as intelligent. To me, I was just asking logical questions. Like, How much will this cost?, Did we budget for that?, and Is there an alternative? These may seem like basic questions to you, but word of mouth spread quickly that there was a highly intelligent new councilman shaking things up at City Hall! No one else had dared question then mayor Carl Donaldson. Carl was in his early 70s, thinning white hair, medium build, with thick, coke-bottle glasses. As he aged, it was sad to see his mobility decline and his shaking increase. He was an Army veteran, so he had my respect. However, I just couldnt let him get away with shady actions.
Before you ask what kind of actions I am talking about, let me tell you a story. Tina Elton was our young, 20-something treasurer, and Mayor Donaldson and long-time Town Clerk Rhonda Brown argued fiercely to give her a 100% raise. During the meeting, we had two trustees missing, so there were only four of us to vote. Elderly Councilwoman Margie Baggio sat next to me and fiercely argued against it. I opposed it also, but knew we were outnumbered. Across the table from us sat Rita Robins, who was obviously going to do whatever Mayor Donaldson wanted. Mike Madison was rumored to be having an affair with Tina, so I was certain hed be giving her a raise. If the vote tied 2-2, the mayor would break the tie in favor of his own proposal. With two trustees missing, I had a sneaky plan. I whispered to Margie, Just vote yes, trust me.