When All Becomes New
A Doctors Stories of Life, Love, and Loss
Benjamin Rattray
When All Becomes New
A Doctors Stories of Life, Love, and Loss
Copyright 2021 Benjamin Rattray. All rights reserved. Except for brief quotations in critical publications or reviews, no part of this book may be reproduced in any manner without prior written permission from the publisher. Write: Permissions, Wipf and Stock Publishers, W. th Ave., Suite , Eugene, OR 97401 .
Resource Publications
An Imprint of Wipf and Stock Publishers
W. th Ave., Suite
Eugene, OR 97401
www.wipfandstock.com
paperback isbn: 978-1-6667-0490-7
hardcover isbn: 978-1-6667-0491-4
ebook isbn: 978-1-6667-0492-1
09/17/15
Scripture quotations are from Revised Standard Version of the Bible, copyright 1946 , 1952 , and 1971 National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.
When All Becomes New is a rare and intimate glimpse into the mind and soul of a man tasked with cavorting between life and death in his role as a neonatologist. Each beautifully drawn story in this powerful and illuminating collection explores the gut-wrenching gale of emotions Dr. Rattray must grapple with during even the most routine NICU moments. Full of empathy and honesty, this book is ultimately a spiritual journey punctuated with anguish, deep human connection, joy, perspective, and ultimately, reconciliation. It is a story that will surely cast hope and heal hearts.
Carrie Firestone
Author of The Unlikelies
This book is pure treasure. It is rare to get a realistic glimpse into the world of medicine. Dr. Rattray has been able to not only provide that glimpse, but also to combine it with the thoughts and emotions that all of us called to practice medicine experience. His humble, picturesque prose will take you deep into the heart and soul of the art of medicine. From the heartwarming success stories to the devastating loss of a life not yet begun, it will be impossible to read without the stirring of deep emotions. This book should be required reading for anyone considering a career in medicine. Fantastic!
Michael R. Canady
Chief Executive Officer, Holzer Health System, Gallipolis, Ohio
The stories of the families in the NICU are masterfully interwoven with Dr. Rattrays reflections on the journey of his own young family. Written with heart and raw honesty, this book bridges the invisible barrier between physician and patient. I highly recommend this book, although I caution that it is almost impossible to put down once you start.
Alana Ledford
Communications Professor
Have you ever wondered about what goes on in a NICU? Wonder no more, as Ben Rattray has written a must-read of vivid, true stories about what happens inside the doors of a world that many will never enter.
Chris Rowe
Neonatal Nurse Practitioner
When All Becomes New is a beautiful unification of perspectivethe untouchable medical profession with the realness of actuality. Dr. Rattray allows us the unique gift of peeking inside the world of a physician, in the often-hidden specialty of neonatal medicine. His stories highlight his evolution from young courage to a foundation of steadfast faith that is tangible within the pages. The stories are raw, some even unimaginable, yet throughout the beauty of their realness there is an intertwining of Dr. Rattrays fundamental framework, his deepest callingthat of grace that can only be attributed to his love for the Lord.
Katie Krist
Neonatal Nurse Practitioner
When All Becomes New captures the compassion and love Dr. Rattray shares with his newborn patients and their parents, inviting the reader into a place of gentleness and wonder. Before reading this book, I knew little of neonatology; afterwards I had a far deeper appreciation for the nuances of this area of medicine. Dr. Rattray humanizes his discipline, inviting the reader into the exhilaration and joy of new life taking hold or the tragedy of it being extinguished before its even begun. He captures the fragility of premature infants tenuously balancing between life and death. Seemingly simple things in adults, like placing intravenous lines or breathing tubes, become harrowing life-and-death challenges in a tiny baby. He honors and remembers his losses yet delights in meeting his young patients who have gone on to grow into healthy and happy children. Dr. Rattray interweaves vignettes from his own lifehis marriage, his training, his faith, his own childrenwith tender, captivating, compelling stories from his days and nights as guardian of the NICU.
Joseph Stern
Author of Grief Connects Us: A Neurosurgeons Lessons on Love, Loss, and Compassion
When you flip to the prologue of a book and read, The babys heart rate suddenly disappears from the monitor... , you absolutely must, no matter how tired you are, keep reading, mustnt you? When All Becomes New offers readers a glimpse behind the curtain of the NICU. But this is not just a rehash of something you might have watched during the heyday of must-see TV. Rattray invites us into the private thoughts and life of a neonatal physician, a life where he struggles to preserve the humanity in medicine drowned under the weight of fatigue, stress, and a crushing workloadand, in doing so, he has given us a book that, in some ways, we wish had never been written, while also being moved by its empathy and compassion.
Terry L. Kennedy
Editor, The Greensboro Review
When All Becomes New is a poignant, heart-wrenching, and heart-warming intersection of Dr. Rattrays chosen path in pediatric neonatology and life beyond profession as a father, husband, and son. His prose will capture you just as swiftly as the tales from life tending to the littlest inhabitants of the pediatric neonatology unit. Each one of them touches his heart and will touch yours as well. Each story illuminates the soulful battle Dr. Rattray faces daily as he deftly weaves the calling of a life in medicine with his own spiritual journey. This story will leave you humbled, awed, healed, and inspired.
Jade McCarthy
TV personality, writer, speaker
When All Becomes New offers a wonderfully riveting behind-the-scenes look at life in the NICU, told through dozens of stories from throughout Dr. Rattrays career.
Not only does Dr. Rattray provide gripping play-by-play accounts of what transpires, but he also offers candid perspectives on the mental, physical, and emotional implications of these cases on medical-care professionals, patients, and families. Through stories of incredible successes and tragic outcomes, Dr. Rattray unabashedly explores the roles of training, intuition, randomness, and faith on life and death, and shares personal perspectives on the meanings behind it all.
Aydin Kadaster
Managing Director, Revyrie, and Founder, Kadaster Ventures
for
Danielle
and for Owen, Hannah, and Avery
... Behold, the dwelling of God is with men. He will dwell with them, and they shall be his people, and God himself will be with them; he will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning nor crying nor pain any more, for the former things have passed away.
And he who sat upon the throne said, Behold, I make all things new.
Revelation : (RSV)
Acknowledgements
This book is twenty years in the making, from the time a college friend handed me her fathers book of patient stories until now. I am deeply grateful to all those who have shaped this journey.