Epilogue
M y mission in life is to rescue abandoned, mistreated and abused animals, and if possible, nurture them back to health and happiness before finding many of them new, permanent and loving homes.
In all the years Ive been an animal fosterer, Ive never had to try so hard to find a home for a dog as as I tried with Teddy. No animal has ever been returned more times, and yet I see it as part of the universal plan. Teddy was meant to be mine and no one elsesit was as simple as that.
Every day I see my staff and volunteers going to and fro, working in the sanctuary. Every day, new animals arrive or are dumped, and they must take them in, no matter how damaged or dirty they are. Our no destruction policy means we arent selective; we cherish every animal life, no matter how sick or needy.
It isnt easy work. We deal with sorrow as much as joy in our dealings with the shelter animals. Some come in too sick to be saved, others never recover from the beatings or the abuse they suffered.
We try not to judge people but that isnt easy either. Instead, I tell my motley crew to focus on the kindnesses shown by themselves and all the others who support our sanctuary. That is the behavior we must celebrate.
I am deeply indebted to all our friends who have supported the sanctuary, and all the people who give their time to the dozens of jobs that need doing, and all those who work in the community holding jumble sales and coffee mornings to raise money for us.
Listening to the sounds generated by almost six hundred animals on my land as they squawk, meow, bark, crow, bray, grunt and cluck, I know I could never do anything else. My heart is in this land, this special place, made all the more special by the extraordinary people who live and work here alongside me.
Kindness and cruelty are all in a days work at the Barby Keel Animal Sanctuary, and for many years, it was the love from Teddy, our instinctive bond, the indescribable chemistry between us as owner and pet, which kept me going through all the ups and downs of running such a place. He was a source of immeasurable support and connection.
Teddy had given no indication that he was ill. At the ripe old age of thirteen he was trotting towards me once fine summer day when he stopped suddenly. He looked at me, his beautiful big brown eyes searching for mine when suddenly he collapsed. I think he was dead before he hit the ground. I knelt in the grass holding him to me, his wiry scruffy fur rough against my skin and I wept and wept over his body. Somebody had to pull me off him eventually for the vet to get close.
I had experienced so much grief in my life by then, that for a while, Teddys death felt like the end for me. I couldnt see how I could go on giving all of myself in my work without him by my side.
When he died, I felt the loss as keenly as that of my brother, of any family member, because I loved him as just thatpart of my family and part of my soul.
I had experienced so much grief in my life by then, that for a while, Teddys death felt like the end for me. I couldnt see how I could go on giving all of myself in my work without him by my side.
No other dog, except perhaps my beloved Gabby, has ever filled that special place in my heart, and I think that now, as a woman in her eighties and still going strong, no dog ever will.
Teddy was special. He and I were connected, and when the day comes for me to pass, I will be running to Rainbow Bridge, scanning the horizon for his scraggy face, his funny sticky-up fur, his black eyes as they twinkle in his grinning face. When he sees me, hell give a short bark, hell gallop across that bridge, his tongue lolling out of his mouth, his long limbs scattering everything in his wake. And Ill be there, kneeling in the sweet grass, holding my arms out for his embrace.
Until then, the work of the sanctuary goes on, and the way it does this is with the support of animal lovers, and people like yourselves, the readers of my books. Thank you for buying this. Every penny received for these books goes back into caring for our animals here, and the new ones that arrive damaged and scared, neglected or beaten, to our gates, and into our hearts.
Please help us by buying our books, by donating via our website or Facebook page. We have no PR company, no branding or marketers working for us. We are one of the few remaining private sanctuaries and every coin is used to buy food or equipment to keep the sanctuary afloat and to take care of the vulnerable animals that have no one else to turn to.
Id also like to thank all the supporters, volunteers and my motley crew, who all bust their guts in their work here, many for the love of it rather than for any pay. They are the beating heart of our community, nurturing animals back to health and happiness wherever they can.
Chapter 1
L OCKED I N
B ad dog! You little git, look what youve done! The mans voice thundered over my head, stopping me in my tracks. Instantly alert, I looked over and saw my master had thrown the door open. A large, tall, red-faced man with a cap on his head and Wellington boots caked in mud on his feet, his face looked furious. He made two great strides into the room where I had been playing happily, absorbed in chasing a fly around the rooms of the large house I lived in. It was a spacious place with plenty of enticing smells, new things to discover and outside there was a large field I could run around in, which was heaven. I was only a young puppy and everything was still new and exciting. This wasnt, though. The mans voice was scaring me. Confused, I cocked my head to one side, but my master had a look of pure menace on his face. He bent over and picked up a cushion Id been chewing, and looked over at the chair Id knocked over during my play. The stuffing from the cushion was scattered all over the floor, an ornament had smashed on the wooden floor and Id left a trail of muddy paw prints across the sofa Id leapt on. I saw what Id done and my heart swooped down into my tummy. I knew I would be in trouble as Id been a messy boy, again.
I gave an exploratory wag of my tail, wanting desperately to appeal to him, to make him soften, to reach down and tickle me under the chin, but if anything, he looked scarier. He took another pace forward. I could smell the cigarette smoke on his clothes and I cowered as he approached.
Ive had enough, dya hear me? He shouted again, and it hurt my ears. I realized I was in terrible trouble. I wagged my tail again, staring up at him, desperately hoping that he would stop. I couldnt help it. I was always trying to get some show of affection from him; after all, he was my owner. So far in my short life thered been little kindness shown to me, and I was starved of attention and strokes. Even though I was unsure of the welcome I would get, I bounded up to my master, who was looming over me now, my big puppy paws making my movements clumsy.
It was a mistake. As I reached him, he glared down at me, and as his eyes met mine, I saw there was no kindness there, no affection or love, just utter fury. I wagged my tail again, desperate for a kind smile or a quick stroke to make everything better. Instead, my master smiled a twisted smile, which made me stop in my tracks. My tail stopped moving. My ears flattened back, and in that split second as I hesitated, the blow landed.