Charles Haley - All the Rage: The Life of an NFL Renegade

This book is dedicated to
Princess, Charles Jr., and Brianna. I love you.
C.H.

For my father,
who likes a good story almost as much
as he likes a good football game.
J.L.

I would not have been able to write this book about some very emotionally charged periods in my life without the love and support of my wife, Karen. A very special thank-you to Karen for believing in me.

To my parents, Mr. and Mrs. George Haley Sr., for your unconditional love, faith, and support. To my in-laws, Mr. and Mrs. Silas Smith Jr., for all your prayers.

My children, Princess, Charles Jr., and Brianna, too, helped me through the challenging times that are documented in this book. Thanks for all the hugs and kisses. To my godchildren, Gari and Donavanreach for the stars! To my siblings, James, George Jr., Lawrence, and David, for always being there.

To my attorney and agent, Kurt Robinson, for your early encouragement and commitment to making it all happen. You have provided much guidance during my eleven years in the NFL. To Joe Layden, for your time and patience during the writing process. Thanks for making the sessions so comfortable. I am grateful for your insight in making my words come alive. To Frank Weimann of The Literary GroupI appreciate your belief in the project. To Jake Morrissey of Andrews McMeel, for the willingness and courage to publish this book.

To my accountant, Mike Steele, for keeping the numbers straight and taking care of business promptly. To my financial advisor, Bob Gist, for showing me the smart way to invest my moneydiversification!

To the coaches at James Madison University. Especially Challace McMillin, Jimmy Prince, and Danny Wilmer, for strengthening me. I am grateful for your insight and frequent reminders of the task at hand.

To the great Bill Walsh for your unbelievable vision and dedication. Thanks for the early encouragement. To coaches Bill McPherson and Tommy Hart for making me a better player. Also, thanks to Dwaine Board and Michael Carter for showing me the ropes during my early years with the San Francisco 49ers.

To Jerry Jones and Stephen Jones for accepting me, letting me just do my job, and allowing me the opportunity to win three more Super Bowls. To coach Barry Switzer for showing me the importance of family. To Rich Dalrymple for helping me communicate better.

To teammates Ronnie Lott, Joe Montana, Eric Wright, Jerry Rice, Michael Carter, Gary Clark, Troy Aikman, Emmitt Smith, Deion Prime Time Sanders, Michael Irvin, Tony Tolbert, Leon Lett, and Godfrey Mylesyou guys do it like nobody else. Thanks for being prepared and ready to play on Sundays. Thanks for all the memories.

To John Maddenyou are the greatest!

To the people who watch and support the game of footballI love you all.

Charles Haley
May 1997

Are We Having Fun Yet?

On December 3, 1995, I played what I thought was my last professional football game. The nagging pain in my back had been growing more intense. Some days I could barely get out of bed in the morning. A combination of adrenaline, Vicodin, novocaine, and pride had carried me through twelve games. But now I was hitting the wall. Actually, the wall was hitting me.

We were playing the Washington Redskins at Texas Stadium. The third play of the game was a running play toward my side at defensive end. Their tackle and tight end came up to double-team me. I threw the tight end off, just like I had a hundred other times. But the tackle really got into me, straightened me up, pushed me off balance. Then I saw the ball carrier. Just a flash. He ran right up my chest, knocked me backward. Thats when I felt itlike a white-hot razor slicing into my lower back.

I got up after the play, but I knew right away that something was seriously wrong. I shuffled to the sideline and gulped a couple Vicodin, because I thought that would help. No chance. It didnt even put a dent in the pain. But you know what? I played the rest of the first half. I wasnt going to go out like that. I didnt want the last play of my career to be an injury. I thought if I just kept moving, kept playing, maybe Id be OK. I was lying to myself, though. I had injured my back once before. Id had surgery to remove a ruptured disk in 1994, so I knew what it was like. This was a similar feeling, only much worse.

By halftime I could barely walk. A couple guys had to literally push me up the tunnel into the locker room, because I couldnt move my legs. I knew it was over then. I wouldnt be able to play in the second half. I probably wouldnt play the rest of the season. And then a thought entered my mind. A frightening thought:

Ill never play again.

I wont lie to you. It hit me hard. I sat in the middle of that locker room and thought about all I had been through. I thought about what it meant to be a professional football player, and what it meant to be a Dallas Cowboy. I thought about how much of my life had been devoted to the game. And I started to cry. I cried like a baby, because I thought my career was over. That might sound kind of strange, considering that I had nearly retired a year earlier. But that was different. Then I was thinking about leaving on my own terms. Now I was being forced out. Now I was a loser.

Halftime ended. The players went back out on the field. I stayed behind. I sat in the locker room, all alone, listening to the roar of the crowd, listening to the game, feeling it, like thunder... crying my ass off.

If you had asked me before the 1995 season what type of year the Dallas Cowboys were going to have, I would have said, Great! I mean, we were loaded, man. When you have Troy Aikman at quarterback, Michael Irvin at wide receiver, and Emmitt Smith in the backfield, you have an offense thats just about unstoppable. And our defense was even better. We had the best defense Id ever been on. We had so much talent that we should have been untouchable.

Most people would probably say that we did have a good season. After all, we won the Super Bowl. But Im a competitor. With the talent that we had, we did not go out and perform up to our capabilities. We should have dominated people. We should have been attacking and going after folks. Instead we laid back and fell prey to a lot of teams. We lost four games that season. We shouldnt have lost any.