I would like to thank my writing group: Deborah Woodworth, Tom Rucker, Becky Bohan, Marilyn Bos, Pete Hautman, and two past membersAndy Hinderlie and George Sorenson. Also, special thanks to readers along the way: R. D. Zimmerman, Kate Green, Ruth LaFortune, Dodie Logue, and Mary Anne Collins-Svoboda.
S he had told her mother most of it. How the dark green truck had roared out of the night, how the wheels had screeched, how her father had been hit, had flown up, and then had landed on the street. She had even told her how Dad had lain there stretched out flat on the black tar and so quiet that it hurt. How the thought that Dad might be dead had come into her mind then and bloomed, and she hadnt been able to stop it from growing. She had told her mother all that but not everything.
A year later, the secret she kept still weighed her down. It rubbed at her and bugged her. It never went away. She thought of the secret every day. She worried. Sometimes her mother would reach down and rub her forehead and say, Meggy, you are getting worry lines already. Youre too young. Go out and play. And Meg wasnt able to tell her mom that she was afraid. All the time. Because she knew her mother was worried too.
But since they had been living in the country, Meg had started to relax. Maybe she had gotten away. Maybe it was all over. Maybe the man didnt care anymore. Meg had started to think that he wouldnt come looking for her.
Thats why it was so hard to feel the fear creep up into her heart again. She had felt someone watching her when she left school today. She had purposely dropped a book and bent over to pick it up so she would have a chance to look around. She hadnt seen anything suspicious. A truck was parked way down the street, but that wasnt unusual. Yet her blood was zinging through her veins like it was made of metal. She sat by the window on the bus ride home and watched. But she didnt see anything out of the ordinary.
When the man in the truck hit her father, her mom thought that Meg had stayed in the house and hid behind the curtains. What Meg never told her was that she had run out the front door. After a moment, Meg had turned around and gone back into the house and hidden in the curtains. When her mom came into the room, thats where she found Meg. Because of this, Meg was in danger. Even though her mom was a cop, she couldnt save everybody from everything. After all, her dad had been killed.
For Meg had seen the man. She knew what he looked like. And he had seen her. Meg had watched his eyes light on her and grow larger for a second. He looked through the truck window at her, and then she ran. He knew what she looked like. She knew he was going to come and get her someday.
A s Claire stepped out of her house into the fading sunlight of an early-April day, she looked back over the roof. The bluff rose up into the pale blue sky like the walls of a fortress. One of the reasons she had bought this old farmhouse was that it had that protection. The bluff was formed when limestone that had been carved away in the ancient bed of the Mississippi River. Its sides were covered with prickly red cedar, slashes of birch, black walnuts, and oak.
Meg, her ten-year-old daughter, tugged at her jacket. Mom, Im going to run over to Ramahs. Shes standing at her door. Ill be right back.
Yes, go ahead.
But watch me, Mom. Watch me until I get there.
Of course Ill watch you. She ruffled Megs hair and sent her on her way. Her darling daughter. Probably the most important reason they had moved down to Fort St. Antoine. Meg had been afraid in their old house in St Paul.
The two of them had lived in Fort St. Antoine for nearly nine months. The town was about an hour and a half southeast of the Twin Cities, nestled between the shore of Lake Pepin and the surrounding limestone bluffe. It was situated halfway down a natural lake that had formed in the Mississippi River. The town was named after a French fort that had been built in the eighteenth century, although little of the fort remained. The town had peaked around 1910 with a population of 730, having both a railroad station and a ferry. Neither existed now. Where the town had once been a vital transportation center for the formers in the surrounding area, it was now just a pleasant day-trip destination for tourists from the Twin Cities. The current population was around 180.
She pulled her eyes down from the bluffs and watched Meg wave from Ramahs doorway. Ramah was an older woman who watched Meg for an hour or two when she got home from school.
Claire saw that her other neighbor, Landers Anderson, was sitting out in his garden, so she walked over to chat. Whats up? she yelled at him as she got closer.
Pondering, he told her. He sat smiling up at her, his wisps of white hair sticking out from under a green-plaid tam and an old Green Bay Packers sweatshirt snugged over his belly.
Good thing to do on a night like this.
Yes, finally winter is letting loose of us. A fine day. It makes me wonder how many more springs Ill see.
Oh, Im afraid youll be around for a while.
Keeping an eye on you. Landers patted the chair next to him.
I can only sit for a moment. Meg and I have a big night planned. We rented a video, and were making popcorn. Since I dont work tomorrow, we thought wed have a little party. Would you like to join us?
No, thanks. He lifted up the tam on his head and plopped it back down, making his white hair fly out at the sides. Ive got a good book going.
What are you reading?
Landers laughed silently, his head bobbing up and down as if on a gentle spring, and then told her. The Yearling. Seeing all the deer this year, I remembered that book that I read as a boy. Took it out from the library. Its still good. He paused, then asked, Hows Meg doing at school?
She has her ups and downs. Last few days, she has seemed upset about something, but when I ask her, she says its nothing.
Meg thinks a lot. It always makes everyday life a little harder when you do it with full consciousness.
Looking at Landers, Claire was surprised by how much she loved this old man. He had been such a help to her when they had first moved down. Cups of tea when she was tired from stripping wallpaper, water when their well pipes burst, a telephone before the phone company put theirs in, and a shoulder to cry on when she felt alone and disheartened and didnt want Meg to know. He was one of those rare people who had taken growing old as a chance to reflect on both his life and others and, in doing so, had grown wise. A simple sentence from him often put the wrangled mess of her life in perspective.
He cleared his throat and folded his hands. She knew this meant he was ready to make a pronouncement. Someone called me up and wanted to buy my house.
Oh, what did you tell them? Claire felt her heart stop. She couldnt bear to think of Landers moving away. He was so much a part of this place that she was sure the sun wouldnt shine as much if he were gone.
Hey, Im no dummy. I asked him how much hed give me.
Did he tell you?
Sure. He said a hundred and fifty thousand. For the house and the land.
Claire was surprised. Landers had quite a nice parcel of land, but the price seemed exorbitant. She had bought her house and one acre of land for forty thousand a year ago. She knew that property values down along the lake were rising much faster than the stock market, but the offer still surprised her. Wow.
Thats what I thought too. Wow. But I didnt say it So then he offered a little more. I told him Id sell over my dead body, and that might not be too far off. He told me the offer would only be good for a short period of time. I wonder if it has anything to do with that new development they are thinking of putting in down here. People get so greedy when theres a little money to be had.