Ian Browne - Da Vinci Mole

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DR. IAN BROWNE

BENBELLA BOOKS, INC. Dallas, Texas

P rofessor Hank Thomas was on top of the world. It was past midnight, and he should have been sleeping, but he couldnt stop thinking of his triumph. His presidential suite at the Four Seasons was filled with flowers and Dom Perignon (he ordered both himself), and he contentedly sipped his drink and smoked his expensive Cuban cigar.

He stood in front of the mirror admiring his reflection. His round, cheerful face held an expression of vague befuddlement that he knew women found intriguing. His receding hairline revealed a broad expanse of scalp, but his mother insisted the bald patch only accentuated his virile appeal. He tended to agree.

His lecture to the Jackson Pollock Admirers Society had been brilliant, and the room, which normally sat as many as twenty, had been filled to overcapacity. He was greeted by the beautiful secretary of the society, Hadley Boyd, who gave him a warm smile as they shook hands. A pleasure to meet you, Professor Thomas.

The pleasure is mine, Ms. Boyd. Am I correct that you will be introducing me? When she nodded, he added, Let me take the liberty of giving you this article to read in your introduction. As you can see, Obscure Symbologists Magazine named me one of their twenty most interesting people.

You want me to read this? Out loud? she asked uncertainly.

If you would, Hank suggested smoothly. I think it gives folks a nice introduction to the complexity that is moi. And, incidentally, I have nothing scheduled after this lecture. Id be delighted to take you back to my room and show you some of my most recent, unpublished work. He gave her a seductive smile.

Umm... thats, um, a great honor, Professor, but unfortunately Im very busy this evening, Boyd replied uncomfortably.

Yes, well thats fine, Brown responded weakly. His brilliant symbologist mind then clicked into action, regrettably late. Hadley was, of course, an unusual womans name. It was the name of Hemingways first wife, the only wife he truly loved. But his son was also named Hadley, a common mans name in the UK. And Hemingway was deathly afraid of lesbians, having had an unfortunate encounter with Gertrude Stein and Alice B. Tolkas. This was not definitive, but consider the last nameBoyd, which breaks up symbolically into boy-d. The letter d is derived from the Greek delta, meaning change, creating the symbolic meaning boy-change. Delta is derived indirectly from the Aramaic derka, meaning similar or like. This generates the symbolic meaning boy-like. The conclusion was definitive. Hadley Boyd was a lesbian, and if only he had thought this through a little more quickly this awkward situation could have been avoided. He quickly rallied. I approve of your life choice, he declared magnanimously.

Uh, thanks, Boyd replied, inching away.

Aside from that awkwardness, the evening had been a stunning success. His description of the hidden meanings in Jackson Pollock was brilliant and he was a big hit. Naturally, he did not reveal the deepest meanings in the works; these were secrets he shared with no one. He sunk into the chair, in the peaceful reverie that only contemplation of ones own great wealth can provide, when the phone rang.

He glanced at his Rolex in irritation. It was almost one A.M. Hello?

Dr. Thomas, I am the concierge. My apologies for calling this late, but an Inspector McGruff is here to see you.

Please tell him that its way too late; Ill see him in Hank heard a large crack as his hotel door was violently kicked in. The door flung aside and there stood a massive, bull-like man in a rumpled suit and trench coat. Hank lowered the phone slowly.

Can I help you? Hank asked tentatively.

I am Inspector Sean McGruff, known as the Poodle, McGruff declared in a surprisingly high-pitched voice.

The Poodle?

The miniature poodle is a far more powerful dog than most people realize. It can yap, loudly and consistently, for over twentyfour hours.

Okay, Hank replied slowly.

But more to the point. We need your help, monsieur.