Acknowledgments
December 2014
Sex work is the cultural framework through which I view the subjects of this book, but it is not the subject of the book itself. A book about sex work would be incomplete without more diversity. I hope to devote my future work to that.
Thank you from the bottom of my slutty heart to the subjects of this book, James Darling, Bianca Stone, Sage Travigne, Quinn Cassidy, and Nigel Matthews, who trusted me with their storiesboth the glamorous and shadow sides. The original reporting for this project was finished in 2013, but all of their stories continue.
This book is for sex workers everywhere, and especially those who have meant the world to me, who have taught workshops and done doubles with me and survived with me: Casey Grey, Rosa Fletcher, Andre Shakti, Mickey Mod, Arabelle Raphael, Maggie Mayhem, Lorelei Lee, Siouxsie Q, Nikki Silver, everyone I worked with at the Gates, and everyone who has shared their resources with me. Also, thank you for having sex with me for money: that was awesome.
Special thank you to Alice Truax, who was my thesis advisor, and gave me the best micro-edits and counseling I could hope to have. Thanks also to Verlyn Klinkenborg, for teaching me about sentences and taking extra care with this material. Thanks to Raygun Louise and Natasha Lewis for astral fitness, and to everyone who workshopped my thesis. Thanks to my writing teachers, Jo Ann Beard, Suzanne Gardinier, Vijay Seshadri, Dan Fishback, and Randall Kenan; and to all my Lambda retreat nonfiction possums, especially Joe Osmundson for his close reading of a final draft (with both Gay Talese and Eileen Myles sitting nearby, against all probability!). Thanks to Johnny Blazes for reminding me that a book about sex can give you a boner.
Thank you to my heroes who gave this book early reviews and endorsements. Special thanks to Carol Queen for also writing my letter of recommendation to graduate school.
Thank you to Gregory Kaplan for being a dreamer.
Thank you to Sarah Patterson and Zil Goldstein of the Persist Health Project, Audacia Ray of the Red Umbrella Project, as well as St James, SWOP, and HIPS, and everyone who is working so hard for the rights of sex workers.
To the people who have given me professional opportunities and artistic communityShine Louise Houston, Maxwell Lander, S. Bear Bergman, Sinclair Sexsmith, Reid Mihalko, Madison Young, everyone at Pink and White Productions, everyone at Good For Her and the Feminist Porn Awards, and Jennifer Pritchett and the folks at Smitten Kitten.
I owe my life to my friends and family who never judged me: Andrea, Lisa, Ryan, Ariel, Mark, Lauren, Beth, Dusty, Cailin, Amanda, my mom, my dad, and my sister.
I have the sweetest bear who is mine all mine, who wants me to have all the adventures and says, Tell me stories. Here are some, and youll be the first to hear every one from now on. Thanks for the leather and the gold.
Love
Not Given
Lightly
Profiles from the Edge of Sex
Porn Stars, Perverts, Femme Dommes, Rent Boys,
and other Professional Lovers
Tina Horn
ThreeL Media | Berkeley
Published by
ThreeL Media | Stone Bridge Press
P. O. Box 8208, Berkeley, CA 94707
www.threelmedia.com
2015 Tina Horn
Cover design and interior illustrations by kd diamond.
Book design and layout by Linda Ronan.
All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without permission from the publisher.
library of congress cataloging-in-publication data
Horn, Tina.
Love not given lightly : profiles from the edge of sex / Tina Horn.
pages cm
ISBN 978-0-9905571-0-4 (paperback)
ISBN: 978-0-9905571-1-1 (e-book)
1. Sex customsUnited StatesHistory21st century. 2. Sex (Psychology) I. Title.
HQ18.U5H67 2015
392.6dc23
2015007288
For my sweet bear
and all the professional lovers
We must not allow the paths of desire to become overgrown.
andre breton
Power is what distinguishes the psychic discourse of desire from the social rhetoric of sex.... What we on the margins have been most able to appropriate of this discourse is the power analysis that so much of the discourse of patriarchy is structured precisely to mystify. In many cases, its demystification is precisely what has allowed us to survive.
samuel r. delany
Its a business doin pleasure with ya!
dolly parton , in
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
introduction
Who the hell is Tina Horn?
December 2014
by Tina Horn
I wrote the stories in Love Not Given Lightly to explain how and why I was transformed into Tina Horn.
or;
I wrote these stories because Tina Horn transformed into me.
or maybe;
Tina Horn wrote these stories, and you can send all complaints her way.
Actually, Im not convinced that Tina Horn exists. Im not entirely convinced its Tina Horn who is writing these words. Maybe its actually me .
But am I not Tina Horn?
If not, then who the hell is she, and why is she always hogging the bathroom?
Tina Horn was born in 2006 (fully-formed and perfectly legal), when, looking for a flexible gig to support my rock & roll lifestyle, I typed the word dominatrix into the Adult Gigs section of San Francisco Craigslist.
Or, was she in me, archetypically, all along? Is Tina Horn the real me ? An amplification of my id, a creature of camp and confidence and creative impulse who animates my body? Did I have to become a sex worker in order to unleash her?
Robert Zimmerman once told Rolling Stone: I didnt create Bob Dylan. Bob Dylan has always been here.
Obviously, I am Tina Horn, and I know what its like to Do, or Perform, Tina Horn. She looks like me, she sounds like me, and she finds the same things erotic. She puts more effort into her appearance, than I do. Shes more agreeable, less cerebral. But, am I only Tina Horn when youre paying for my time? Am I Tina Horn when I sleep? When I die, will Tina Horn die too?
Most importantly: wardrobe and attitude and ontological status aside, what is Tina Horn good for ?
Well, Tina Horn has made me some good money, for starters. Since 2006, I have worked as a professional BDSM switch, both in houses and as an independent, providing direct service fetish and fantasy exploration to clients who paid me an hourly rate. In 2009, I started to perform in independent, queer, and kinky hardcore videos in the Bay Area. In 2010, I began directing my own pornography, and co-founded QueerPorn.Tv , a membership site that won two Feminist Porn Awards, a Cinekink Award, and an AVN nomination during the time I was a producer there. Throughout this era, I created and distributed zines about sex work, later publishing essays online and in magazines. I taught workshops on spanking and dirty talk, and spoke on college panels. After moving to New York City, I worked in advocacy for people in the sex trades, especially with the Persist Health Project.
BDSM stands for: Bondage, Discipline, Domination, Submission, Sadism, and Masochism.
Heres an excerpt from one of those zines, circa 2008.
Marxist critic Walter Benjamin used prostitutes as examples of dialectical images, where the commodity and seller are the same and reveal the system of representation that produces them. He was on to something, but somehow I doubt Benjamin ever strapped on six-inch stilettos and hogtied men for money (although, of course, we can never be sure).