Jon Pressick - Best sex writing of the year. Volume 1, On consent, BDSM, porn, race, sex work and more

Copyright 2015 by Jon Pressick.
Foreword copyright 2015 by Belle Knox.

All rights reserved. Except for brief passages quoted in newspaper, magazine, radio, television, or online reviews, no part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying or recording, or by information storage or retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.

Published in the United States by Cleis Press,
an imprint of Start Midnight, LLC,
375 Hudson Street, Twelfth Floor, New York, New York 10014.

Printed in the United States.
Cover design: Scott Idleman/Blink
Cover photograph: Robin Lynne Gibson/Getty Images
Text design: Frank Wiedemann

First Edition.
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

Trade paper ISBN: 978-1-62778-086-5
E-book ISBN: 978-1-62778-101-5

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available.

Permissions acknowledgments for the essays reprinted in this book may be found on page 224.

Molly Hannah Rachel Donna Jessie Thank you

CONTENTS

B ELLE K NOX

F IONA H ELMSLEY

C HRISTOPHER Z EISCHEGG AKA D ANNY W YLDE

E PIPHORA

C ORY S ILVERBERG

A LEXANDRIA G ODDARD

N ICA N OELLE

E MBER S WIFT

A LOK V AID -M ENON

L YNN C OMELLA

J OAN P RICE

C AMERYN M OORE

C HARLIE N OX

M ITCH K ELLAWAY

L AURA A GUSTN

J IZ L EE

M OLLENA W ILLIAMS

T INA H ORN

S TOYA

R ACHEL K RAMER B USSEL

M ORGAN M. P AGE

J ARRETT N EAL

D AVID H ENRY S TERRY

J ON P RESSICK

A SHLEY M ANTA

L UX A LPTRAUM

J ASON A RMSTRONG

A MY D ENTATA

L AUREN M ARIE F LEMING AKA Q UEERIE B RADSHAW

D EE D EE B EHIND

Foreword

Belle Knox

Sex. A simple enough thing from the outside but our desires, our humanity make it so complicated. We use sex to sell everything from fast food to power tools, music to insurance; sexuality is commodified, packaged, sanitized and sold to us from every angle. It permeates every facet of our lives while remaining the most common social taboo. We use sex and the promise of intimacy to sell; however, actually selling sex or intimacy remains a hotly disputed and stigmatized topic.

In 2015, sex remains one of the most polarizing topics in the world. Its easy to forget that outside of our own, seemingly normal sex lives, the world has thousands of different stories and experiences to share that we may not otherwise have imagined. My own story is well-known enough: after being outed as a college student who moonlights as a porn performer, I was met with intense ridicule, harassment and shame. But most overwhelming was being met with curiosity. People are fascinated by sex, drawn to sex and sexuality, and perhaps the sex they are not having is the most interesting. Daring to express and expose our sexuality is not without its risks; our consequences for sharing this most intimate part of ourselves with others can be extreme. We accept pregnancy and disease as a given, but the social ramifications of what we enjoy can be severe and disturbing.

Fortunately, telling our stories can also be personally rewarding. By relaying our experiences and stories, we work towards a better understanding of ourselves. By giving up these parts of ourselves, sharing what we would normally keep secret, we become more free.

The discussions we have about sex and sexuality speak to who we are as people, from the most basic of moral concerns to our most visceral desires. In this wonderfully diverse collection youll find pieces by Alexandria Goddard, Lynn Comella and Alok Vaid-Menon that address the wider world of sex and sexuality: who do we want to be as people and what our sexand how we go about obtaining sexsays about us. The obligation of educators to provide people with accurate information on sex and sexuality is at the core of my beliefs, though Im not unaware that essentially I sell fantasy, deliberately and carefully removed from context.

From Dr. Laura Agustins passionate and thought-provoking piece on stigma and the sex industry, Prostitution Law and the Death of Whores, to Morgan M. Pages Crazy Trans Woman Syndrome, these incredibly diverse and personal stories strike very close to home for me. The gravitas, the pain, the outsider nature of these words wrought large on the page draws me in and speaks to me. Most of all, the authors share their deepest vulnerabilities, fears, hopes and visions with us in a demonstration of our interconnectedness as human beings.

Sexuality is extremely complex, ethereal and at times ineffable. These expressions of sexuality, however socially unacceptable we may find them, are wonderful because they expose our fantasies for consideration and the endless possibilities of pleasure and intimacy that lay beyond our narrow experiences. I hope that after reading this collection of essays, articles and narratives, your mind opens to the possibility that sexual freedom is paramount to the happiness and fulfillment of the self. Whilst reading this marvelous collection, I have gasped, laughed and at times welled with tears. We all have our stories to share and these deserve to be heard. I can only hope they give you as much as they gave me.

Belle Knox

Introduction

Jon Pressick

Sometimes I play a game. It is an easy one, and I think it is one we all enjoyat least secretly. When I walk through neighborhoods, I wonder what is happening, right at that moment, behind the doors and curtains of a particular house. Sometimes Ill even stop and really think about it. A few of my friends will humor this game and maybe even play along. It can surely result in some laughs, but Im serious.

I really want to know what people are getting up to. I want to know what theyre doing in there. I want them to tell us.

Take a listen to Tom Waitss creepily mesmerizing track Whats He Building? from his album Mule Variations. It was released around the same time that a friend and I happened upon an exhibition of photos of Australian fetishists. Both stirred my inquisitive juices. Both brought me to a world that I rarely knew of. Waits was telling me to actively wonder what was going on in there and the exhibition was actively telling me what was going on in there.

Of course, it all makes me think of sex. Even if the photo exhibit had not been directly about sex, it would have made me think about sex. There is no more guarded, more secretive, more hidden subject in our society than sex. For many, sex is a conversation that just doesnt happen. Sex is the word that gets tucked under the mattress so that neither friendly visitor nor sneaky peepers will catch a glimpse of it. Sex makes us vulnerable so we hide it away as far from prying eyes as we can.

Or, at least we used to.

Sexual media has changed a lot since Best Sex Writing came out in 2005. At that point we were certainly intrigued and flirting with the Internet and telling stories. Remember Livejournal? But back then, if you were talking about sex on the Internet, you were predominantly talking about porn. Of course, porn is still an ever-present part of our online experiences, but out of sites like Livejournal grew an interest and passion for sex stories and sex writing.

Much is made of the Wild West nature of the Internet, it being an anything goes playground rife with the most meaningless and thoughtless content. But at the same time, it was that very abandon that allowed sex writing to become a daily fixture in our reading lives. Whether it be blogs or information sites or daily digests of sex-related news, the Internet has allowed us all to interact with sex content as often as we wantas opposed to waiting for our favorite magazines or books to cover sex topics.