Ray P. McCord - Choir Practice: The Lore and Lure of Poker

Choir Practice

The Lore and Lure of Poker

RAY P. MCCORD

iUniverse, Inc.

Bloomington

Choir Practice

The Lore and Lure of Poker

Copyright 2011 by Ray P. McCord

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ISBN: 978-1-4620-5058-1 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4620-5059-8 (e)

Printed in the United States of America

iUniverse rev. date: 10/21/2011

Contents

To my uncle Harry, who had at least two women in every port, a bottle in each hand, and who introduced me to the game of poker more than seventy-five years ago. He died much too young.

Acknowledgements

While lazing around a pool with good food and drinks in hand originally a bunch of relatives and friends helped draft and edit the term paper from which this book has been derived. Their amateur efforts assured an A in the extension course for which the paper was written. This current effort could not have been completed without the more than able assistance and encouragement from the editors at iUniverse. And special thanks go to Martha Stewart of In House Graphics here in Salem, Oregon and to Darian Jordan, who provided the excellent illustrations.

Introduction

T his book is about the game of poker. It does not define poker terms, explain how to play, or delve into the probabilities of holding various hands or combinations thereof in a game. These things and more can be found in several of the references listed in the bibliography. It is about pokers history, heritage, and lore; and in a broad sense, it may give some idea as to why poker is played, particularly in its most popular formhi-lo.

I. Inception

O nce upon a time, irregularly, not at the same place nor on the same date, but roughly at the same time on a Friday evening once each month, a select group of individuals gathered together for an activity known as choir practice. This gathering was almost as inevitable as salmon swimming upstream to spawn or the migration of birds. The mechanism by which the members gathered was complex, consisting of repeated phone calls of entreaty, cajolery, threats, confirmation, and sometimes personal confrontation. Usually, by default, one member of the group confirmed that a quorum would be present and assured all the others that this was true. The minimum number for a quorum was six, with the magic number of seven being desirable. Rarely was the true purpose of the gathering spoken aloud. Usually the phone calls were brief and cryptic, consisting of such messages as Choir practice seven thirty my house or My house be there Friday night. However, sometimes there were extended conversations about availability of regular members, possible alternates, compatibility of suggested alternates, results of the last gathering, and the possibility of procedural changes.

Waiting for a Real Game

Occasionally, the purpose of the gathering was referred to as a game, and the members of the group understood that the name of the game was poker , most often that variety known as hi-lo. With rare exception, this group met regularly and was referred to as select because alternates were thoroughly tested as to compatibility, playing ability, and possible conflict of interest. Those who did not qualify were not selected nor retained for participation. Being a game, and a game of cards no less, poker requires rules, regulations, and at the very least, guidelines, such as the ones illustrated in later chapters. One of the first guidelines agreed upon by the choir was that the dealer would name the game, whether it was stud, draw, or one of the many variations thereof. Another was that a joker would be included in the deck of cards to provide more variety of hands and increased probability for winners. The joker served as a fifth ace, and as a wild card in straights and flushes. Another was that the hand itself declared the winner. After much discussion, it was determined that the lowest hand was the wheel, or ace through five, and the highest hand was the royal flush, or ten through ace, all of one suit.

II. Members of the Choir

A fter inception, the choir seemed to grow just like Topsy, although some participants theorized that some esoteric form of osmosis was at work to bring a cohesive, coordinated, dedicated band into being. The original group consisted of six members: the Colonel, Dix, Three Fingers, CC, the Big Guy, and the Freeloader. Others drifted in and out to fill the seventh spot, namely two different Bobsone a graphic artist, the other a craft work planner; Jack, Andy, Blair, and Kyle; and others who attended too infrequently to remember. If asked, the original members all claimed to be winners. Over time they probably really were winners because of their long-term relationships with one another and familiarity with one anothers foibles. The infrequent attendees usually were losers just because of their infrequent attendance.

The Colonel was called this because of his long-standing intermittent efforts to qualify for a military pension. After thirty-six years, he finally achieved his goal. He became the target of choice of all the members of the group who delighted in outdoing him during practice. At one gathering where he was host, not only did they eat every crumb of his furnished snacks and drink almost all of his superb homemade apricot wine, but they also absconded with twenty-five dollars of his money. Of course, this was a low point in the Colonels choir career.

Dix was called Dix because he just didnt like his first name, preferring his middle one, which was Dix. When mentioned at all his first name was represented by the letter R . Being a real church choir member would have been entirely appropriate for him because of his ability at times to assume an innocent, angelic baby face, which usually fooled nobody in attendance. In contrast, on rare occasions, he would exhibit a fierce demeanor that sometimes was a bluff and sometimes not.

Three Fingers sometime, somewhere, lost two fingers on his right hand. This loss was never discussed by the group, nor voluntarily explained by him. It certainly did not detract from his capability to deal cards or to participate in a major role in the choir, and it lent an air of mystery to his persona. His was a steadying and calming presence, which at rare times was needed to arbitrate some dispute.