Roni Beth Tower - Miracle at Midlife: A Transatlantic Romance

Praise for Miracle at Midlife

A wonderful, thoughtful, and inspiring story of love and couragethe kind of tale that teaches us to take chances, and that we can overcome our own obstacles.

Betsy Stone, PhD, author of Happily Ever After

Roni Beth Tower shares her journey through life with wit, warmth, and insight. Miracle at Midlife is written with an eye for detail and the ability to make the reader feel like a participant in this adventure. Following a romantic meeting in Paris, the author describes events that involve two continents. Subsequently, she is able to overcome many obstacles, and to reinvent herself as someone open to love and affection.

Dorothy and Jerome Singer, Yale University

Miracle at Midlife is an honest, thoughtful, and authentic memoir about a real love affair in which the intimacies, conflicts, misunderstandings, and resolutions of new love are explored. Roni Beth Tower writes with a compelling command of psychological process and insight, while ably injecting humor in the story of her transatlantic romance.

Jeanne Bodin, author of We, the American Women and Women Who Work

Roni Beth Towers Miracle at Midlife transports the reader across time and the Atlantic to the sights, tastes, and heady romance of Paris. Through a meeting of the minds, and with great passion, Roni rebirths herself and finds her soul mate. Her journey is at once moving, humorous, candid, and a gift.

Traci Stein, PhD, MPH, integrative medicine expert and award-winning author of The Everything Guide to Integrative Pain Management

... a wonderful story (that) needed to be told... demonstrates triumph for all of us who aspire, regardless of our age or doubts, and is a reminder... to take life by the coattails and fly. Miracle at Midlife is a testimonial to pursuing a passion, to doing, completing, persevering, and to embracing life.

Camille Mancuso, from her Chatterbox column Bucks County Herald

Roni Beth Tower shares a remarkable story about the renewal of hope after loss, and the elegance of destiny in love. Beautifully crafted and narrated, her story will captivate the senses and awaken the reader to the power of living with courage, vulnerability, and most of all integrity.

Jennifer Lee, PhD, clinical psychologist and coauthor of Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy for Anxious Children

What could be more romantic than a vacationing psychologist falling in love with an ex-pat attorney living on a converted barge in the heart of Paris? A page-turner from beginning to end, Roni Beth Towers remarkable memoir, Miracle at Midlife, offers the reader a chance to experience both the sexual intensity of the romance novel and a clinicians clear-eyed insights into the difficulties besetting many a cross-cultural relationship. The author would have it that we do not fall in love; rather, we remove the obstacles to being in love. And the obstacles are everywhere, from contradictory styles of interactionshe favoring open dialogue and shared feelings, he preferring to avoid conflicts, all the better to enjoy the pleasures of the moment (be it a crispy croissant or a glass of vin rouge)to differing styles of parenting adult children and managing complex professional and social lives. This Francophile couldnt put it down. Highly recommended.

Barbara Bracht Donsky, author of Veronicas Grave.

Miracle at Midlife

Copyright 2016 by Roni Beth Tower

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, digital scanning, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. For permission requests, please address She Writes Press.

Published 2016
Printed in the United States of America
Print ISBN: 978-1-63152-123-2
E-ISBN: 978-1-63152-124-9
Library of Congress Control Number: 2016943293

For information, address:
She Writes Press
1563 Solano Ave #546
Berkeley, CA 94707

Cover design Julie Metz, Ltd./metzdesign.com
Formatting by Kiran Spees

She Writes Press is a division of SparkPoint Studio, LLC.

Names and identifying characteristics have been changed to protect the privacy of certain individuals.

To David
And to the anonymous Air France reservation agent who helped him get me back to Paris

M ore than twenty years have passed since I was first mesmerized by the twinkle in his brown velvet eyes. The American lawyer with the resonant voicetoo short, too sophisticated, too foreign, and too addicted to Marlborosbegan provoking my transformation on our first encounter in Paris and has continued to this day. Each morning the magic renews, and each night we bring gratitude to each other as we fall asleep. Through each others hugs, hearts, and conversations, we have grown toward our own unique wholeness, reclaiming parts of our souls that had been lost or abandoned. But I am getting ahead of my story. Today I will just share how it all began.

I t was late March 1996, and the trip to Paris was growing closer. I had sold the jewelry Id inherited from my mother to finance the cheap winter fare and had enough left over to cover two nights (two more paid for with frequent-flier coupons) at a Hilton near the Eiffel Tower, airport parking, some simple food and sightseeing, and even a much-needed new computer. I met a friend for dinner and confided, I have that surreal feeling about this trip. I am terrified, but its another one of those things that I know I need to dowildly impractical but essential. Going back to school; buying my Maine cottage; adopting my dog, Luke; cross-training in epidemiologymany of my best decisions had not been practical.

Back then, three girlfriends and I met at the local diner for breakfast every two weeks. For two months they had listened to my travel plans unfold while they and their husbands journeyed to sunny spots like Sarasota, St. Martin, Australia. The day before departure, one of them announced, You really should call David.

Whos David? I asked.

He went to law school with Jim.

Hes in Paris?

He lives there. We see him every time we go.

It doesnt matter, but is he single?

I think so.

It doesnt matter, but is he gay?

I dont think so.

Okay. Will you get me his number?

In 1996, e-mail was in its infancy and transatlantic phone calls were costly. Auspiciously, I had already promised a friend from Toronto that I would call her cousin, just to say hello. So why not? This trip was all about taking risks, and if I could master the French phone system for one call to a stranger, I could commit to a second. Besides, nothing was going to happen during a weekend journey across an ocean. I had confidence in my armor.

Ill have Jim call him and let him know youre coming, she volunteered.

I phoned her the next morning to get Davids telephone number. Jim never did contact David. But I did.

Cardinal rule of traveling as a single woman: pack light. You always want to be able to manage your own belongings. Almost as a talisman, I chose the red calico tote that had been a present from my closest childhood friend. She was my personal fashion angel, sending gifts that represented beauty, femininity, style. Indulgence. For good measure, I transferred my passport into the Paloma Picasso wallet that she had sent me for my fiftieth birthday. French francs fit in its compartments, and its luxurious leather helped my fingers rub away fears. A skirt and pair of slacks, which matched the forest-green jacket I wore on the plane (extra warmth over a black cashmere turtleneck and leather pencil skirt), were tucked neatly into the cotton bag. Add a white blouse, sensible underwear, a second pair of shoes, some makeup and toiletries, and I could sling the carryall over my shoulder and into the overhead with no strain at all.