Lucinda E Clarke - Truth, Lies and Propaganda

To all those who work in radio and television and will understand and relate to my story. To all those who mentored me in the early years and had faith in my ability to create for a nationwide audience.

I must not forget my husband whose patience and understanding allowed me the time to commit all these memories to paper.

Truth, Lies

&

Propaganda

in Africa

by

Lucinda E Clarke

Truth, Lies and Propaganda

Copyright 2014 Lucinda E Clarke

First edition.

The author asserts the moral right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work.

All Rights Reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, transmitted, or stored in whole or in part in a retrieval system, in any form or by any means, without the prior written consent of the author, except in the cases of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews. Nor be otherwise circulated in any form or binding or cover other than that in which it is published and without a similar condition being imposed on the subsequent purchaser.

Edited by: Poppy Reid of Purple Sage Editing

Book cover by Rod Craig

This book describes the first part of my journey from primary school teacher, to announcing on the radio, to scriptwriting for radio and television, then into the world of video production.

All the stories are true, although a few names have been changed to protect a couple of the more interesting characters.

If you have ever wondered what goes on behind the camera, this book will let you in on a few secrets and explain how programmes are put together.

What is it like to work with famous people, or interview them when they are not keen to talk to you? Dont be fooled into thinking that working in television is glamorous, its not. I spent more time in toilets and shuffling through rubbish dumps than I did in banqueting halls.

Making any kind of programme is team work, and I have worked with the best crews and the best studio personnel in South Africa. Without them and their passion, I could not look back with pride on all that we produced.

This book is for them and the clients who placed their faith in us to tell their stories. It is also for my long-suffering husband whose patience while Im writing has again been stretched to the limit.

No two days are ever the same in the media world and I feel very privileged to have been part of it. Just dont believe everything you see on TV, its probably wiser not to believe anything at all!

Spain 2014

1 YOU CANT BE A WRITER!

I have decided that tomorrow I am going to kill Caroline. Id like to squash her flat under a road roller, or push her off the top of the Empire State Building, but Im not sure how I could get her there, and I suspect Health and Safety have got it securely enclosed by now. I cant shoot her as Ive no idea where Id get a gun, and a knife means getting up close and personal and I dont want her blood all over me. I could poison her, but then I dont know very much about poisons, and I really should dispose of her in a more interesting way. Ive grown to hate her, and I want her death to be lingering and painful.

For months she has caused me unmentionable pain and heartache. Ive sat up all night worrying about her, and if I give up and go to bed, her very presence has caused me to toss and turn until the early hours. I have to put an end to this. Shes got to go. So, how am I going to dispose of her?

A combine harvester, thats the answer!

I will mash her to pieces in a peaceful and idyllic corn field, while the birds sing and the soft wings of the butterflies barely disturb the air. Her screams will resonate as she is dismembered into bite-sized chunks between the rotating blades and her blood spurts metres into the air turning the ripened, golden maize a brilliant red.

Yes, thats what Ill do tomorrow.

For as long as I can remember I have wanted to be a writer. In those early days, it seemed such a glamorous occupation, I so admired those people who could transport others into a land of fantasy, take them back in time to another world or forward into the future on another planet. What was more, you, the writer, were in control! You could give your characters a headache, or better still, break their legs or pop them into a wheelchair, and you could kill them off in so many different and exciting ways.

How about leaving them to be gnawed to death by rats, or drowning them in a vat of vintage wine, or poisoning them with their own birthday cake?

Of course you can be nice to your characters as well. You can present her with a loving, rich, faithful and successful husband and four adorable children just like those in Little House on the Prairie, and make her stunningly beautiful at the same time. Now shes beginning to sound nauseating, and you hate her already dont you?

Its time to make things go wrong. Enter the nymphomaniac, blonde secretary with the very, very, short skirt barely covering her knickers, legs that start at her armpits, big boobs and a predatory nature. Now, thats more exciting isnt it?

As a child, I had very little control over my life so writing was extra important to me. It was the only way I could escape from the misery of everyday life. I would sit in my room and scribble silly little stories in an exercise book and then run and show them to my mother. She was not kind, and sneered at my earliest attempts to influence the world of books - although my grandfather, a reluctant writer himself, was more encouraging.

A huge influence on me in those days was Jo in Little Women. I cant remember how many times I read Louisa May Alcotts story. Jo began writing when she was young, and I cheered for her when she sold a story and bought a carpet for the house, and then another story which helped keep the family comfortable in difficult times while their father was away fighting in some war or other. (At least that is what we were told. He wouldnt have run off with another woman would he? Or been serving time?) Jo was the heroine of the family for me, and I dreamed of making a fortune by writing such wonderful books that everyone wanted to read them.

Of course life isnt like that, and the usual questions came up as I reached the last of my school years.

Do you want to be a secretary, a nurse, or a teacher?

Frankly I didnt want to be any of them. My vision of secretarial work was being a lackey to some overbearing, loud-mouthed man in some dingy office. I would be sent to collect his dry cleaning, sharpen his pencils and spend hours thumping away at a typewriter making thousands of mistakes. I would never make a good secretary. Even today, Im ashamed to say, I cant touch type, my eyes are constantly glued to the keys, and even at my advanced age I still make thousands of mistakes.