Andrew Flintoff - Right, Said Fred

First published in the UK by Blink Publishing

An imprint of Bonnier Books UK

Wimpole Street, London, W1G 9RE

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Hardback: 978-1-788-701-98-3

Signed: 978-1-788-703-94-9

Trade Paperback: 978-1-788-703-07-9

Ebook: 978-1-788-703-06-2

Audiobook: 978-1-788-704-06-9

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Copyright Andrew Flintoff, 2020

Andrew Flintoff has asserted his moral right to be identified as the author of this Work in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.

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Blink Publishing is an imprint of Bonnier Books UK

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CONTENTS

CAR COMPETITION

W hen I heard that Jeremy Clarkson had been sacked from Top Gear for punching an Irishman, I got straight on the phone to my agents and said, I want to do that job. They replied, Yeah, I can see it actually. And I replied, Go on then, see what you can do... Up until then, Id kind of stumbled into everything. And out of all the jobs in TV, presenting Top Gear was the one I really wanted to do. That and presenting Question Time, but even I had to admit that unless every political journalist in the country was simultaneously wiped out in some freak accident, that was unlikely to happen.

Every idea Id ever come up with, my agents Richard and Katie had managed to get me in front of the right people. But Im glad they werent able to work a miracle in 2015. Not that I was really in a position to take the job anyway, but taking over from Clarkson, James May and Richard Hammond would have been a poisoned chalice. Look what happened to Chris Evans when he started presenting the show he got destroyed by the public and the media. I wasnt surprised. Not that Ive got anything against Chris, but Clarkson had made that show his own. Im not sure Id want to be mates with him or if youre even allowed to like him but he was brilliant on Top Gear. How could he not have been? He made it one of the biggest shows in the world.

Three years later, Id just finished filming an episode of A League of Their Own, which involved crawling through a muddy assault course in the studio, when my agent Richard wandered over with a big smile on his face and said, Ive got some good news. But youre going to have to sit down. I did as I was told and Richard said, Top Gear have been on the phone and they want you to do a screen test next week, if youre up for it. I didnt get too excited, because a screen test is just a trial, not a job offer. But I was bang up for it.

The opportunity had come at exactly the right time. Id been thinking a lot about my TV career and whether I should do something else instead. I was still loving being on A League of Their Own, because Id been doing it for eight years and grown so close to my fellow panellists, especially Jamie Redknapp and Romesh Ranganathan. But otherwise I was thinking about packing all the other TV stuff in. I didnt want to do anything I wasnt really interested in, so I was thinking about carrying on with A League of Their Own, doing some cricket commentary or presenting, and spending the rest of my time pottering. I enjoy being on TV and work hard at it, but it was never my dream and doesnt give me the same buzz as being a cricketer. Playing cricket for Lancashire and England was all Id ever wanted to do. So I knew that walking away from TV work wouldnt be the same emotional wrench as retiring from cricket.

On a more basic level, I just loved cars. The car has got to be one of the greatest and most important inventions in history, right up there with the printing press, the light bulb and penicillin. The car is one of the few inventions that fundamentally changed the way humans lived, literally broadened peoples horizons. Nowadays, people will try to make you feel guilty about owning a car, unless its electric.

First, there isnt an electric car I like. Second, we dont have the infrastructure, in terms of enough charging points. Third, theyre not actually that good for the environment. Yes, they produce less pollution, but making the batteries requires the mining of rare metals and a lot of extra energy. Ill need to have driven quite a lot of miles in my petrol car before it has the same environmental impact as a brand-new electric car. And because I change my cars quite a lot, Im probably doing less damage to the environment than someone who drives an electric car. Im not some knee-jerk reactionary who is against electric cars on principle, Id actually like to get one eventually. But only when the cars get better, the infrastructure improves and it can be proved beyond doubt that driving one is better for the planet.

But whether youre into electric cars or petrol, gears or automatics, cars are such a big part of our everyday life that I struggle with people who say theyre not into cars. Theyre lying. If you own a car and you drive a car, then youre into cars. You might not know anything about cars, but youre into them, whether you think you are or you dont. And I really cant get my head around people who dont drive. I cant even imagine it. When I was a kid, I couldnt wait to be 17 so that I could get behind a wheel. It meant freedom, being able to go wherever I wanted and do whatever I wanted. The reason I failed my test the first two times was because it was so important to me. The first time I failed on a dangerous (I thought there was more than enough room on the roundabout to get home, he disagreed). The second time I got a minor fault. As soon as Id done it, I knew Id failed. So I thought, Im going to give him the ride of his life... The third time I knew the bloke, which was nice. He played cricket for Morecambe and I used to play against him, so we talked about old times for 20 minutes before he said, You better do one of those emergency stops. If you want. That was pretty much that, he passed me.

My first car was a black Fiat Uno, which I rented for a few months after passing my test (at the third attempt). Driving it, I looked like one of the Ant Hill Mob from Wacky Races, because I could almost stick my arms out of the windows and pick it up. When youre a cricketer, youre always trying to get a car for free. Even to this day, Im always trying to get free cars, its just ingrained in me. My missus had a Kia Sorento for a while, because I got it for free. Dont get me wrong, it was a lovely car. But after a while she started asking questions, because it was usually parked next to my Ferrari. Back when I started playing, some of the older players had their names on the side of their cars: Neil Fairbrother sponsored by Lookers. I didnt want that, but Lancashire had a deal with Rover whereby I could rent one of their cars for 1 per cent of its value a month, plus about 30 quid for insurance. That worked out at about 150 quid a month. Its not as if they were going to let me have a 220 Turbo, so my first Rover was a 216 Coup. I didnt drink at the time, so used to ferry my mates around on nights out. And every night without fail Id get stopped by the police, because driving that car in Preston was the equivalent of driving a McLaren in Chelsea. I upgraded to a 216 cabriolet in blue, but there was obviously a mix-up, because when it arrived it was purple. So when I got a pay rise, I upgraded to a 620ti, which wasnt quite the stuff of Alan Partridges dreams (I believe he drove a Rover 825), but not far off. Alas, someone went into the back of it when I was on my way to a game in Cheadle. On the bright side, I got a grand for the whiplash, taped the boot closed and carried on.