Charlie Carillo - One Hit Wonder

RAVES FOR CHARLIE CARILLO

Raising Jake

The best kind of story because it is about the best kind of journey, one you don't want to end...written in a smart, funny, moving way in the special language of fathers and sons. I want my own three sons to read it, as well.

--Mike Lupica, New York Times -bestselling author of Travel Team and Heat

Charlie Carillo has long been a superb comic novelist but in Raising Jake he hits a perfect page-turning stride. It's scathingly hilarious, vengeful, and truthful, and should come with a warning: Beware: this book is potentially life-altering .

--Sally Jenkins, Washington Post sports columnist and New York Times -bestselling author of It's Not About the Bike: My Journey Back to Life with Lance Armstrong

In the tradition of Tom Perrotta, Carillo explores the strength of the family bond, the power of forgiveness, and the hope that comes from embracing second chances...truthful, and hilarious.

--Alison Grambs, author of The Smart Girl's Guide to Getting Even

I don't like funny, touching novels because they make me wish I'd written them myself. I enjoyed Charlie Carillo's book from beginning to end and now I'm miserable.

--Sherwood Kiraly, author of Diminished Capacity

Raising Jake is a literary romp through the minefields of a totally normal, and totally abnormal, family.... I actually laughed out loud and kept turning the pages to make absolutely sure that all worked out at the end.

--Cathy Lamb, author of Henry's Sisters

I read Raising Jake with a smile on my face the whole way through. Sometimes I laughed aloud; always I enjoyed the turnabouts and back-to-front quality of the relationships in this story of a father's coming of age with the help of his son. It's never too late to grow up and no one is ever too old to be young.

--Drusilla Campbell, author of Blood Orange

Former New York Post reporter Carillo ( My Ride with Gus ) nails the language, the bluster, the rhythm, and the pulse of New York and its denizens. Fans of Jonathan Tropper will go for this one in a big way.

-- Library Journal

In this coming-of-age tale, there's often a question of who is parenting whom. Carillo, a former reporter for the New York Post, has an easy way with breezy prose and likable characters.

-- Publishers Weekly

Raising Jake was funny, poignant and insightful. Carillo's smooth and steady style brought his characters to life, allowing the reader to experience every moment. Sammy's stories were riveting and heartbreaking; at times I felt I should look away to give him some privacy.

--BookFetish.org

You can take the boy out of the city but you can't take the city out of the boy.

-- New York Post

If you're not too embarrassed to LOL at the beach, read Charlie Carillo's Raising Jake.

-- New York Daily News

My Ride with Gus

What starts out as a wild ride to get rid of a corpse ends up as a touching and believable story of family love and survival, a testament to Carillo's storytelling abilities.

-- Publishers Weekly

This nightmarish picaresque novel mixes elements of slapstick, the surreal, and the absurd, all delivered in rambunctious, wildly profane Brooklynese...Carillo generates more than enough wacky energy.

-- Booklist

My Ride with Gus makes Charles Carillo a writer to watch.

-- New York Daily News

Outrageously funny...Charles Carillo's writing is light, fast-paced and yet thought-provoking...a fulfilling ride.

-- The Post and Courier (Charleston, South Carolina)

A plot which hinges on the disposal of an inconvenient corpse is not a new idea, but Charles Carillo manages to make it fresh...as well as extremely funny...Carillo sustains his deliberately improbable narrative with elan, piling up the jokes in the best comic thriller tradition.

-- The Times of London

If laughter is good medicine, Charles Carillo's novel is a treatment as well as a treat...the best part of the story is the witty contrast between Gus the gangster and Jimmy the Citizen...Carillo's book is an inspired marriage of the picaresque narrative and the road movie in which Gus, worldly wise and world weary, and Jimmy, his paranoid straight man, move through a series of hilarious near-disasters.

-- Daily Press Inc . (Newport News, Virginia)

one hit wonder

Also by Charlie Carillo

Raising Jake

Published by Kensington Publishing Corp.

one hit wonder

CHARLIE CARILLO

KENSINGTON BOOKS
www.kensingtonbooks.com

Once again to Kim

Acknowledgments

Every laugh you laugh is an illness you don't get. My special thanks go to these guys, whose humor cheated innumerable doctors out of my money.

Roll Call:

Pat Cook, Dennis O'Brien, Paul Patrick, Bill Hoffmann, Charles Lachman, Bill Barrett, Phil Tangel, Kimmy Gorden, Matt Meagher, Matt DeNinno, Rob Nieto, Chris Dukas, Jimmy Malhame, Mike Pearl, Michael Shain, David Ng, Leo Standora, Arty Pomerantz, Don Halasy, Sean Delonas, Phil Spellane, Gordon Mitchell, Phil Parrish, Brian ("Dog") Kramer, James Bohrsmann, Frank O'Mahony, Kevin O'Mahony, John Chigounis, Anthony Chigounis, Al Canaletich, Bill Kelly, Randy Glick, Gary Goldstein, Malcolm Pink, Simon ("Dr. Fellenstein") Fell, Derek DeBowski and Darren Stewart.

Also: Tony Carillo, my father; Sal Carillo, my uncle; and Rafael Richardson-Carillo, my son. I guess it's in the blood.

And a farewell salute to Brian Walls and Michael Norcia, both gone long before their time, both so damn funny they made me double over with laughter. By the time I straightened up, my troubles didn't seem nearly as bad.

Contents

C HAPTER O NE

T he woman sitting beside me on the red-eye recognized me. She had the window seat and I was on the aisle, trying to sleep, but I never could sleep on planes, not even in those long-gone days when I flew first class.

She was just the right age for someone that might know who I was, a slightly overweight thirty-something woman with crinkly brown hair and deep dark eyes, obviously a serious professional of some kind. She stared at me half convinced that it was me, and half afraid of making a fool of herself by asking.

This is what being a has-been celebrity is like--you get stared at, wide-eyed and then narrow-eyed. They wonder if you could be who they're thinking you could be. They wonder if you might have died. They look at you as if you're a ghost.

Then they hesitate, debating with themselves over whether it's actually worth the trouble to find out. This woman decided to give it a shot.

"Excuse me. Are you Mickey DeFalco?"

Picture what it must be like to be ashamed to admit who you are, to know that whoever recognizes you is going to want to know about all the wasted years that have passed since you burst onto the scene.

I didn't answer immediately. The woman continued staring at me, willing herself to be right. I sighed, nodded, shrugged.

"Yes, ma'am, that's me."

She covered her mouth with her hands, as if to stifle a scream of excitement. The hands fell away, the mouth was agape. For a few magical moments, she was no longer a serious professional hurtling toward middle age. She was a groupie.

"Oh my God, I can't believe I'm meeting you!"

"Nice meeting you, too."

"God, I loved 'Sweet Days'!"

"Well, thanks."

"I was sixteen when it came out. I played it so many times that the tape finally broke! That's how long ago it was--the song was on a cassette! Remember cassettes?"

"Yes, I remember cassettes."

"Oh, God, Mickey DeFalco!! "

She was getting loud. I was starting to panic. I had to calm her down. The last thing I needed was for everybody on the plane to know who I was.