Contents
Guide
Dirty French Everyday Slang from Whats Up? to F*%# Off! a va? Va te faire foutre! Adrien Clautrier Henry Rowe 2nd Edition
Text copyright 2008, 2021 Adrien Clautrier and Henry Rowe. Design and concept copyright 2008, 2021 Ulysses Press and its licensors. Illustrations copyright 2008, 2021 Lindsay Mack. All rights reserved. Any unauthorized duplication in whole or in part or dissemination of this edition by any means (including but not limited to photocopying, electronic devices, digital versions, and the internet) will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. No. 3,928,097.
This book is dedicated to Eric and to the soccer club ASPEN/St. This book is dedicated to Eric and to the soccer club ASPEN/St.
Cloud.
USING THIS BOOK
If your entire experience in French class was limited to fantasizing over Mireille (you know, the hot chick from those old
French in Action instruction videos), youll have a hard time doing much with this book.
Dirty French was written with the assumption that you already know enough French to get by. After all, this is a slang book, and slang tends to be the last thing you learn after getting down all the basic (and relatively useless) sayings, such as I live in the red house and Yes, I like the library very much, thank you. So, this isnt a beginners grammar book. This is a book designed to take your French to the next level. The chapters and explanations are set up, however, so that even with just a little French in your murky past, you should be able to call out any Jean-Pierre who starts killing your buzz with some Merlot-induced rant about how the CIA really blew up the Twin Towers.
Youll find all your ammunition here, arranged by subject, chapter after chapter. The slang included here is totally up to date, the kind of stuff youd hear on the streets of Paris today. Except in special cases, the English is given first, followed by the French. Sometimes the French is given with alternativeslaid(e), mon/mato account for gender differences. As we said before, this isnt a grammar book and youre not an idiot, so we expect that youll be able to figure it out without any more explanation than that. PRONOUNCING FRENCH]]] Heres a brief refresher on pronunciation.
This is not how to name the letters of the alphabet but how to pronounce them when they appear in words.
- A, =ah
- B =bay
- C =kah (before a, o, u), say (before e, i)
- =say
- D =day
- E, =euh (like the second e in telephone)
- =ay
- F =eff
- G =gg (before a, o, u), zhee (before e, i)
- H = [silent]
- I =ee
- J =zhay
- K =kah
- L =elle
- M =emm
- N =enn
- O, =oh
- P =pay
- Q =keww
- R =airr
- S = esse
- T =tay
- U =eww (shape your mouth like a chickens assholeun cul de pouleand youll say it right)
- V =vay
- X =eeks
- Y =ee
- Z =z
- Je =zheuh (like the ge in garage)
- Tu =tew
- Il, ils =eel (theyre pronounced exactly the same; context is what lets people know when its plural)
- Elle, =elle (you might elles want to check the explanation right above)
- On =ohhhn
- Nous =nou
- Vous =voo (like voodoo)
The hardest thing for Americans to pronounce is the vowels. Thats because we Americans flatline our sentences in monotones, and arent used to pronouncing words with different emphasis. To get the hang of a good French pronunciation, youll have to start by getting in touch with your inner Inspecteur Clouseau and speaking with a dramatic French accent: Hey dude, ya wanna go get high? would become hAAY dewwwd, yoooo waaahn toooo gooo geeet hIII? Dont worry, youll get the hang of it. One important reminder: Slang is situational, and the slang in this book can get pretty hard-core. Use it at the wrong time or place and youll find yourself in a bad situation (think Eddie Murphy walking into the biker bar in
48 Hours and yelling out, Whey all da white wimmin at?).
So only use these expressions with people your own age, in situations where you know whats going on. Now take your Dirty French and get dirty with it!
CHAPTER 1 HOWDY FRENCH
SALUTATIONS FRANAISESHello
Bonjour You probably shouldnt use French slang with strangers, especially if theyre over 30, unless you want to get on their nerves right away. So when in doubt stick with the classic Bonjour. After you get to know someone a little better, feel free to use some of these slangier expressions. (As for women, youll get all kinds of attention if you try these with people you dont know.)
HiSalutHey!/Yo!Ho!Hey, you/Hey, babyCoucouYo, dudes/guys!Oh, les gars!Yo, girls!Oh, les filles! FRENCH 75 This cocktail named after a World War I field gun will give you all the ammunition you need for double kisses and forgiveness when you mispronounce
bonjour. GET THESE: 1 ounce gin ounce freshly squeezed lemon juice ounce simple syrup 3 ounces champagne (or other sparkling wine) lemon twist, for garnish DO THIS: Add the gin, lemon juice, and simple syrup to a shaker with ice and shake until well chilled.
Strain into a champagne flute. Top with the champagne and garnish with the lemon twist. For simple syrup: Gently heat 1 cup of water with 1 cup of sugar until the sugar has melted and the liquid is clear. Store in a glass jar in the refrigerator for up to 2 weeks. On the telephone: Hello?llo?Hey!Salut!
Good morning/Good evening
Bonjour/Bonsoir In French there are a bunch of informal variations on good morning and good evening for you to choose from.
Mornin, honey!Bonjour, mon chri (to a man)
/Bonjour, ma chrie (to a woman)
Hey, babegood morning!Bonjour, toi!Mornin!Jour!Evenin!Soir!Night!Bonne nuit!The hello kiss
La bise You probably know that the French greet each other with little pecks on the cheek, like pigeons doing a mating dance.
This is the local equivalent of the American college hug (which the French think is weirdtheyll feel like youre coming on to them if you even try it). Women exchange these kisses with all friends, male and female, when seeing them for the first time each day. If you kiss one person in a group, you should kiss them all (as long as theyre roughly your age). And just go cheek to cheek and smooch the air; dont actually touch your lips to them. TEXT MESSAGINGTEXTER]]] Text messaging has led to whole new ways of writing things by abbreviation: