• Complain

Nick Ferrari - The World and London According to Nick Ferrari

Here you can read online Nick Ferrari - The World and London According to Nick Ferrari full text of the book (entire story) in english for free. Download pdf and epub, get meaning, cover and reviews about this ebook. year: 2008, publisher: John Blake Publishing, genre: Detective and thriller. Description of the work, (preface) as well as reviews are available. Best literature library LitArk.com created for fans of good reading and offers a wide selection of genres:

Romance novel Science fiction Adventure Detective Science History Home and family Prose Art Politics Computer Non-fiction Religion Business Children Humor

Choose a favorite category and find really read worthwhile books. Enjoy immersion in the world of imagination, feel the emotions of the characters or learn something new for yourself, make an fascinating discovery.

Nick Ferrari The World and London According to Nick Ferrari
  • Book:
    The World and London According to Nick Ferrari
  • Author:
  • Publisher:
    John Blake Publishing
  • Genre:
  • Year:
    2008
  • Rating:
    4 / 5
  • Favourites:
    Add to favourites
  • Your mark:
    • 80
    • 1
    • 2
    • 3
    • 4
    • 5

The World and London According to Nick Ferrari: summary, description and annotation

We offer to read an annotation, description, summary or preface (depends on what the author of the book "The World and London According to Nick Ferrari" wrote himself). If you haven't found the necessary information about the book — write in the comments, we will try to find it.

Nick Ferrari is the award winning, popular broadcaster and journalist. The host of LBC radios primetime breakfast show, Nick Ferrari at Breakfasts listening figures are constantly rising, more and more people are waking up to the witty banter of this loveable star, now for the first time, you can read this fantastic selection at bedtime too! In The World and London According to Nick Ferrari, the ratings winning DJ recreates the warmth and humour of his award-winning radio programme. In a book packed with his frank views and hilariously candid anecdotes, Nick will cover an array of subjects from his own solution to getting rid of the monarchy, to what it means to be a Londoner. He reveals the red light moments - what really happens and what the stars say when the show goes off air. The World and London According to Nick Ferrari will make you ponder and laugh in equal measure and you cant fail to enjoy Ferraris relaxed, conversational style. It is sure to keep you entertained.

Nick Ferrari: author's other books


Who wrote The World and London According to Nick Ferrari? Find out the surname, the name of the author of the book and a list of all author's works by series.

The World and London According to Nick Ferrari — read online for free the complete book (whole text) full work

Below is the text of the book, divided by pages. System saving the place of the last page read, allows you to conveniently read the book "The World and London According to Nick Ferrari" online for free, without having to search again every time where you left off. Put a bookmark, and you can go to the page where you finished reading at any time.

Light

Font size:

Reset

Interval:

Bookmark:

Make
Contents
R emember the days when air travel was the preserve of the glamorous the jet - photo 1

R emember the days when air travel was the preserve of the glamorous, the jet set and the elite? Well, if you do, you just wont believe what its like now. In the course of being a reporter for a series of national newspapers and shuttling across the Atlantic fairly regularly when I was working for Fox TV in the United States as part of Rupert Murdochs organisation, I was exposed to just about every variety of air travel you can imagine.

One image will never leave me. To explain it fully, I need to put it in context. Whenever I crossed the Atlantic I always chose, whenever possible, Virgin Atlantic. Sir Richard Bransons airline is nothing short of genius. They consistently have the best facilities, the smartest crew and the most enjoyable flights (there that should secure the next upgrade or three). Because of the number of air miles I chalked up with Virgin Atlantic, I found myself upgraded to a gold-card holder and therefore able to enjoy lounge access at all airports. I was flying from Gatwick to Newark and, as I was a member of the Executive Club, I was able to wait until almost the last minute to board the aircraft not only was a special announcement made in the first-class lounge, but a stunningly stylish young woman, complete with the Virgin Atlantic uniform hugging her in all the right places, arrived to escort me to the departure gate. We walked through and I was in the blissful mental state of being a mix between being James Bond and a leading captain of industry. Then, as I neared the boarding gates, I looked to my right and saw the last few members of economy class being boarded for the flight.

And there it was: Atlantic traveller, British style.

Dad had the body mass of a Sumo wrestler but the height of a National Hunt jockey. He was red-faced, sweating and wearing a T-shirt that strained at every seam. At first glance it appeared to have the Ford logo on the front of it; closer inspection revealed that it was not Ford that was spelled out on his ample chest but FCUK! Why would a grown man want to walk around with a slogan like that on his bosom?

Behind was his wife wearing a hideous white shell suit that immediately made you give thanks that smoking on all aircraft has now been banned if anyone had dropped a match or anything slightly combustible near her, she would have gone up in flames in a second thanks to all the chemicals involved in the production of her hideous outfit. But the crowning lump of pooh in the overflow pipe was the teenage daughter dragging herself along sulkily some five yards behind her parents. This was a girl who had her hair pulled so tightly behind her face she was almost striking an oriental grimace; she had rings in both her ears, her nose and on most of her fingers, and one through her naval I was only grateful that she was wearing faded tracksuit trousers on her bottom half to show that there wasnt one anywhere else. But the item that set off this ensemble to the best was her T-shirt. It was green with the following slogan in vivid letters: L AST NIGHT I F *** ED THE DRUMMER ! It made me wonder if there was anything people would not wear as a slogan on a T-shirt. What about a picture of a pile of steaming horse crap, or the slogan I M A MORON , or a picture of two rats fighting over the remnants of a dead fox thats been mangled by the side of a motorway. Trouble is, Ive probably given a few fashion designers some ideas there!

It just made me long for the glamorous days of air travel. It used to have an air of refinement and style were talking Sean Connery as James Bond touching down in Jamaica in Dr No, not 20,000 people stuck at Gatwick airport on a sweltering bank holiday waiting to get their flights to Spain or Greece but who have been stuck because of the latest dispute with French air traffic control. If you were to fetch back some of the frequent flyers from the fifties and walk them through todays departure lounges in Stansted, Birmingham and Gatwick, they would freeze with horror. They would see people feeding themselves with their hands, guzzling fizzy drinks, screaming at loutish children and then queuing sometimes for hours to be boarded on to planes and be seated in conditions similar to those that a sardine experiences in a tin. It is surely close to immoral the way some airlines treat their economy class passengers.

I am more than happy to pass on to you some of the pointers I have learned from the amount of air travel I enjoyed years ago. The first one echoes the words of Shakespeare: whats in a name? As you sit there, you need to hear a captain with the correct name introduce himself to your flight. You hear the bing bing of the in-flight announcement system and then, Good morning, ladies and gentlemen, this is your pilot speaking. My name is Captain Charles Smyth and welcome aboard this non-stop flight from London Heathrow to New York Kennedy Airport. We will be taxiing out to runway two in about ten minutes, once our luggage doors are fully fastened. Please sit back in your seats and enjoy our excellent onboard service.

Compare that with the possibility of the following: Wotcher! My names Wayne, and Big Daves beside me here in the cockpit. Were gonna get out of here just as soon as we can, but we had a hell of a skinful last night and my heads not really clear until I take a couple more Nurofen. Those of you sitting in business class, why not check out Tracy Ive had her at least half a dozen times and she bangs like an outside toilet door in a gale.

Or: My name is Abdul, Im not prepared to tell you anything else I just wish death and destruction on the hideous jackal sons of the infidel and the capitalist oppressive west.

Once youre past the in-flight announcement from the pilot, the next thing to listen out for is the names of the air hostesses. Those of you reading this or who are just about to or have just had daughters, if in any way you think they might one day be involved in air travel, heres a hint: the names they get will mark them for life. Certain girls names are meant for first class, others for business and many others, I am afraid, are decidedly for the back of the bus. For example, in first class you have the Stephanies, Sofias, Jessicas, Philippas, Hannahs and Rebeccas; Sarah, Becky and Jenny will get you into business class; and at the back of the bus, I am afraid to say, there will always be the Sharons, the Tracys and the Alices.

T his is how it works on the radio. You set up a story, and then you line up an interview. The price of fish has gone up this week by 500 per cent, and this means that nobody can afford to buy a nice bit of halibut for their supper. Here to talk about it is the spokesman for the British Fish Board, Arthur Cod.

So far, so good. But the way things are going, this is how the conversation is likely to progress:

Actually, Nick, its spokesperson.

Pardon?

Im the spokesperson for the British Fish Board. Not the spokesman.

Why? Arent you a man?

Yes, I am a man, but thats not the point.

What is the point?

I think its derogatory.

No, its de-radio, actually.

And we end up not having a conversation about the price of fish, but what word I should use to describe this bloke.

A case in point is the use of the word coloured. To the innocent among us it was just a word used to describe non-white people and there was no suggestion of it hiding any insult or bad meaning. My generation, and perhaps the one above, then grew up in a very different kind of Britain multi-coloured, multi-ethnic, multi-cultured and it was suddenly decided that we shouldnt say coloured. Black was black, white was white, and suddenly the word seemed to have some slightly unpleasant undercurrent. Now the pendulum seems to be switching again: I recently had Trevor Philips, head of the Commission for Racial Equality, on the show. He told me he had been addressing a Muslim Conservative association at the Conservative Party Conference, and that he had explained to them that he felt that there was perhaps, after all, a place for the word coloured. So now were all bloody confused about what we can and cant say. Of course we dont want to offend anybody, but we dont know how to go about not offending them.

Next page
Light

Font size:

Reset

Interval:

Bookmark:

Make

Similar books «The World and London According to Nick Ferrari»

Look at similar books to The World and London According to Nick Ferrari. We have selected literature similar in name and meaning in the hope of providing readers with more options to find new, interesting, not yet read works.


Reviews about «The World and London According to Nick Ferrari»

Discussion, reviews of the book The World and London According to Nick Ferrari and just readers' own opinions. Leave your comments, write what you think about the work, its meaning or the main characters. Specify what exactly you liked and what you didn't like, and why you think so.