Alex Beckerman - Why Boys Need Parents

Dedicated to boys everywhere, young and old. Text copyright 2015 by Chronicle Books LLC. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without written permission from the publisher. Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data available. decided to see what happens when you rub rocks together near the sulfur pit. decided to see what happens when you rub rocks together near the sulfur pit.

Fire was born. This led immediately to the invention of the time-out. Boys will be boys. Unfortunately, they will also be arsonists, wrecking balls, flooders, and eight-limbed ninjas of destruction. It is their nature. Boys are driven to explore, whether its the mysteries of life or the contents of their own nose.

The same impulse that inspires them to experiment and discover also tells them to cut their own hair. It is what has brought us electricity, space exploration, and the vaccine for polio. Its also what brought us Chernobyl, telemarketing, and the Great Bathroom Flood of 2013. We want to nurture their exuberant drive, but we also want the species to continue. This is where you come in. If you have a son, you perform heroics every day.

You dam geysers, extinguish explosions, patch holes, and bandage boo-boos. Youve been mooned and karate-chopped. You have had a child pee in your shoes while you were wearing them . Youve survived juice stains, waterlogged phones, dropped laptops, and multiple ER visits, and miraculously, the boys have too. Boys need parents. But the secret truth is that parents need boys.

It would be awfully boring without them, wouldnt it? Still, it might be nice to go one full week without having to call a plumber. Perhaps hell be one when he grows up. In the meantime, keep going, have fun, and hope that the grandkids are girls. To teach him the importance of utensils. Because not everything needs to be a costume. Because snips, snails, and puppy dog tails isnt supposed to be taken literally. So it wont freeze that way. Because Grandma can still change her will. Because thats not what you meant by Clean it inside and out. Dad will love this! To help them rethink their priorities. Because someday, hell be allowed to drive. To explain that a self-portrait is not a portrait done on ones self. What cake? To keep them honest. Because we arent there yet. To sing back-up. Because the Creature from the Black Lagoon is not touching the white door with those hands. Because you cant be leader of the pack with chocolate sundae on your face. To referee their cage-match pillow fights. To check for pool sharks. To give them a running start.