John Hoskison - INSIDE

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INSIDE

One Man's Experience of Prison

A True Story

by

John Hoskison

In order to protect individuals mentioned in this book,

names have been changed.

What others are saying about

INSIDE

One Man's Experience of Prison

A True Story

A journey to hell and back. Entertaining, and 100 times more scary than any drink/drive campaign.

~FHM Magazine

~

This is a must read book. Not just an insight into how prison really is but a real life story that illustrates just how quickly your life can turn upside down. "There but for the grace of God..."

~ John Francome Author and Champion Jockey

~

This brave and important book should be read by all those who have anything to do with the treatment and condition of those committed to our prisons. The book should be made required reading for all those serving in the prison service and those who join in the future.

~ Lord Ramsbotham Chief Inspector of Prisons 1995 - 2001

~

Ought to be compulsory reading for all Home Office ministers.

~ Allan Massie - Daily Telegraph

~

An Appalling experience that could have happened to almost any of us.

~ Sir Stephen Tumim - Express

Published by: ePublishing Works!

www.epublishingworks.com

ISBN: 978-1-61417-176-8

In order to protect individuals mentioned in this book,

names have been changed.

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Copyright 1998, 2012 by John Hoskison. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions.

BISAC: BIO026000: Biography & Autobiography, Personal Memoirs

Cover and eBook design by eBook Prep www.ebookprep.com

Thank You.

Dear Reader,

It was with a great deal of anguish and uncertainty that I first sent this book off for publication. It is about an episode in my life of which I am not proud. But all these years later the prison service is still in a mess and there is hardly a day that passes without my reading or hearing that prison is a soft option. This may be so in some circumstances. It wasn't for me and it isn't for most.

As you read this ebook version of INSIDE, I hope you will understand why I am still unable to turn my back and walk away.

Sincerely,

John Hoskison

"This book is a searingly honest account of the banalities, absurdities, frustrations and extremely limited choices that exist in our prison system. Accounts such as this open up the closed world of prisons. John Hoskison tells it like it is, as opposed to what gets portrayed on TV or at the cinema."

~Professor David Wilson ,

Professor of Criminology at Birmingham City University,

and a former Prison Governor

January, 2012

Deep down I go where no light shines,

Through hidden caves of fear,

I thought that I'd explored my mind,

I thought I'd cried my tears.

~

But now I know I'll cry some more,

A new duct born through pain,

I know I'll cry more than before,

Whilst all the ghosts remain.

Prologue

There was a fight on my landing this morning. One of my neighbours was badly hurt. It was a gruesome sight, but one I have become used to. HMP Coldingley has been my home for the last year.

When I was driven through the gates for the first time last November, the branches of the prison tree were bare. I can see that tree from the exercise yard and I've been watching its golden leaves fall. If I can keep clear of trouble I should be leaving here when the leaves start to grow again. The seasons have always played a significant part in my life.

Before I came to prison I was a professional golfer. For a number of years I played the European Tour, where I mixed and played with some of the best golfers in the world. I was elected captain of the Surrey Professional Golfers Association and twice I represented Europe in PGA Cup matches against the Americans. I was respected by my friends and colleagues.

When I left the tour to settle down, I became the head professional at one of the most beautiful courses in Surrey. The members became my friends. I lived in a flat on the course and in the early mornings I would often go out with my young son into its deserted bluebell woods where we would hide and watch the deer. Every morning I bounced out of bed, eager for the day to start. I truly had the most wonderful life. One day I smashed that world.

* * *

It was a cold November afternoon and I went to play in a golf match with a friend. After we finished we went to the bar for a drink. I'd always been very careful not to drink and drive, a discipline I'd maintained over twenty years of travelling to tournaments, but that night I chose not to listen to my conscience. When I left the club I was over the limit but I still decided to take the risk and drive home. That short fateful journey took me down a dark country lane where I hit a cyclist, and he was killed. In my panic I didn't stop.

* * *

Overnight my world was shattered and I began a journey into a living hell. Two years later I still shrink from thinking about the devastating consequences for all concerned. I am still trying to come to terms with my actions that night. Just once I took the risk. It proved absolutely catastrophic.

The morning after the accident I offered my resignation to the golf club where I worked, to the golf magazine I wrote for, for which I had great plans, and to the Professional Golfers Association. I had worked very hard in my career. In the blink of an eye I had lost it all.

The same day I sat my parents down and explained I was going to prison. My mother tried really hard not to cry, but they were shattered. Over the next few days I told everyone I knew. They were all devastated, stunned, and everywhere I went I left people in tears. Hardest of all was telling my son. He was only seven and breaking it to him still haunts me.

But what dwarfed every other emotion were my feelings for the cyclist's family. I lived in a nightmare world of sorrow and regret. It took nearly a year for the case to come to court. Every morning and every night I thought about the consequences for the victim's family. Every moment of every day, I longed for forgiveness. At every corner I had to ask myself: if I hadn't had a drink could the accident have been avoided?