Al Strachan - Why the Leafs Still Suck: And How They Can Be Fixed

The gap between us, I would always have thought, was at least the distance between Lenin and Genghis Khan, Willie and Ozzie Nelson, Donald Brashear and Pavel Datsyuk.

If Al Strachan and I ever ended up playing for the same hockey teamand a couple of times we sort of did, as I dressed for the Canadian media in the annual CanadaU.S.A. slaughter during All-Star weekends, while Al variously baited opposition players from behind the bench and exhorted us Canadian players to run up the scoreId be left wing, hed be right, Id be floating up near the blue line waiting to cherry pick, hed be catching someone with his head down and parking him somewhere into next week.

Friends? Not very likely

I first encountered Strach, as everyone calls him, in printas a sports reporter for the Montreal Gazette, then a sports reporter and columnist with The Globe and Mail out of Toronto. On the page, he was sharp, tough, accurate and challenging. If he had a bone to pick, he used a lance to pick it. No shying away; no backing down; no apologies. And he knew the game, something that cannot always be said about those who make their living explaining sports events to those who can read.

Getting to know him as a person took some time, as I was in magazines when he was first in newspapers and then in Ottawa when he was in Toronto. I covered the Ottawa Senators when he was covering the Maple Leafs, which was a bit like being imbedded with the Lancasters and the Yorks during the Wars of the Rosesa bitter conflict Strach, I could not possibly know then, could likely have discoursed knowingly about while those about him scratched their heads in wonder. How does he know these things?

When I did get to know him well was, much to my shock, during the modern NHLs first lockout, the shutting down of the league for the start of the 199495 season. I knew, as everyone did, that Strach had long had a friendly relationship with the games biggest star, Wayne Gretzky, and when word began spreading that Gretzky and some of his hockey pals were planning a barnstorming tour of Europe to put in the time, Strach called to suggest I come along. It was both a generous suggestion and a welcome one, as I was desperate myself for something to write about in the Ottawa Citizen sports pages. The paper agreed and off we all went, flying out of Detroit, on one of the greatest sports jaunts in hockey history.

I got to know an entirely new Al Strachan on that trip. Not just that hes eccentric enough to pour his beer from one glass to another endlesslyGets rid of the gas, he claims, patting back a burpbut that he is erudite, widely read, bright and extremely funny. Thanks to Strach and his long-time pal Tony Gallagher of the Vancouver Province, I found myself daily in stitches. Strach has one of the most irreverent, wickedand totally politically incorrectsenses of humour that law currently permits. I found myself laughing, uproariously, at things in other years I might have marched against.

Take this wicked sense of humour, and this astounding understanding of the game, and you have the perfect author for Why the Leafs Suck. Strach was there during the Monty Pythonesque Ballard years, there during the dreary decades that followedand is still there for the New Age Leafs of general manager Brian Burke and coach Ron Wilson. They wont like what they read. But then, Strach has always written for his readers, not his subjectsagain, something that separates him from the pack.

If youve ever been to a circus, think of Strach as the guy in the black top hat and red tailcoats, smiling deviously as he snaps his whip from centre stage.

And take this book for what it is: a three-ring delight, certain to thrill, guaranteed to amuse, sure to infuriate and impossible to put down.

While it may drive some Leaf fans to drink who arent already there, I predict sales through the roof in Ottawa.

And embraced, as well, in every other place where the true joys of the great game are appreciatedfrom loving the manner of play to laughing at the main players.

Roy MacGregor