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Quentin Parker - The Sordid Secrets of Las Vegas: 247 Seedy, Sleazy, and Scandalous Mysteries of Sin City

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Quentin Parker The Sordid Secrets of Las Vegas: 247 Seedy, Sleazy, and Scandalous Mysteries of Sin City

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Whether this is your first or fiftieth visit, youd be surprised at how much of the citys mystique you can miss while youre pulling slots until dawn. From getting comped at a casino every time to finding the best stripper to teach you how to pole dance, youll learn all of the hidden magic that permeates this incredible city in this tell-all handbook. Youll also get an insiders take on:
  • How to get invited to the Fetish and Fantasy Ball
  • Why you shouldnt drink the water in Vegas
  • Where to have a $5,000 lunch
  • Where to find the worlds biggest topless pool
  • Whos been blacklisted by the Gaming Control Board
    Organized according to the seven deadly sins, the hidden gems in this book are your key to uncovering the dirty secrets of Sin City!
  • Quentin Parker: author's other books


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    THE
    SORDID
    SECRETS
    of LAS VEGAS

    Quentin Parker, Paula Munier,
    and Susan Reynolds


    SEEDY, SLEAZY,
    AND SCANDALOUS
    MYSTERIES
    OF SIN CITY

    Copyright 2011 Simon and Schuster All rights reserved This book or parts - photo 1

    Copyright 2011 Simon and Schuster
    All rights reserved.
    This book, or parts thereof, may not be reproduced in any form without permission from the publisher; exceptions are made for brief excerpts used in published reviews.

    Published by
    Adams Media, an imprint of Simon & Schuster, Inc.
    57 Littlefield Street, Avon, MA 02322. U.S.A.
    www.adamsmedia.com

    ISBN 10: 1-4405-1016-4
    ISBN 13: 978-1-4405-1016-8
    eISBN 10: 1-4405-1194-2
    eISBN 13: 978-1-4405-1194-3

    Printed in the United States of America.

    10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

    Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
    Parker, Quentin.
    The sordid secrets of Las Vegas / Quentin Parker, Paula Munier, and Susan Reynolds.
    p. cm.
    ISBN-10: 1-4405-1016-4
    ISBN-13: 978-1-4405-1016-8
    ISBN-10: 1-4405-1194-2 (e-ISBN)
    ISBN-13: 978-1-4405-1194-3 (e-ISBN)
    1. Las Vegas (Nev.) Anecdotes. 2. Las Vegas (Nev.) Social life and customs Anecdotes. 3.
    Las Vegas (Nev.) Biography Anecdotes. 4. Las Vegas (Nev.) Humor. I. Munier, Paula. II.
    Reynolds, Susan (Linda Susan) III. Title.
    F849.L35P375 2010
    979.3'135 dc22
    2010041351

    Certain sections of this book deal with activities that would be in violation of various federal, state, and local laws if actually carried out. We do not advocate the breaking of any law. The authors, Adams Media, and F+W Media, Inc. do not accept liability for any injury, loss, legal consequence, or incidental or consequential damage incurred by reliance on the information or advice provided in this book. This information in this book is for entertainment purposes only.

    This book is available at quantity discounts for bulk purchases.
    For information, please call 1-800-289-0963.

    DEDICATION

    To my favorite two gonzo journalists: Hunter S. Thompson and Ben Malisow.

    Quentin Parker

    For my parents, the happiest people in Vegas.

    Paula Munier

    ACKNOWLDGEMENTS

    Many thanks to our editors Andrea Norville and Victoria Sandbrook, our book designer Ashley Vierra, our cover designer Sylvia McArdle, and the entire Adams Media team for making this book happen.

    INTRODUCTION
    LAS VEGAS: ALL THE SINS AT ONCE

    In your hometown, can you satisfy your itch for greed and gamble at the grocery store? We're not talking about scratch-off games for the so-called education lottery. We're talking pulling slot handles or playing a few hands of video poker. Hell, no! But you can in Las Vegas. In Las Vegas, the seven deadly sins are as omnipresent as glory holes in the bus station bathroom. And greed's just the first of them.

    As for hometown lust, can you go to topless pool parties without worrying about police intervention or scarring the neighbors' kids for life? 'Cause you can in Vegas. Pair lust with greed and you've got the crowning glories of Sin City.

    You can probably find plenty of ways to sate your gluttony fix even in your hometown but it's unlikely you've got a local hookah bar or the chance to buy a bottle of cut-rate bourbon at 5 a.m. on Sunday morning.

    As for sloth: in Sin City, sloth is taken to a whole new level. Don't believe us? Do you have legions of the homeless living in your town's storm drains? Didn't think so.

    If lust and greed are the queen and king of Sin City's trangressions, then wrath is this couple's crack baby, and it's crawling around everywhere! Mobsters? Check. Murderers? Check. Visits from the 9/11 hijackers and members of the Heaven's Gate cult, prior to their explosive appearances on the public scene? Check.

    You might argue that some washed-up has-been of a former starlet couldn't possibly have much pride if she is only attracting crowds in a place where folks go to focus on other things (like greed and lust), but you'd be wrong. Even the failures in Las Vegas have a certain je ne sais quoi. So there. Who's famous from your hometown? Huh?

    And finally, there's envy. Sure, you've got envy back home. You know That asshole gets a promotion, and you get squat. But Las Vegas soars envy to new heights. Some believe God himself is so envious of Sin City that he attacked a locals' casino with a bolt of lightning!

    In The Sordid Secrets of Las Vegas, you will learn about all of the sins that make Sin City, well, Sin City. This book is divided into seven sections, each of which focuses on one of your favorite seven deadly transgressions. It's filled with all kinds of fascinating, hysterical, and occasionally unbelievable tales that the leaders of this infamous desert community would probably prefer you did not know.

    So, get ready to take a sin-filled armchair journey into the ugly heart of one of the world's most sinful and let's face it coolest places.

    Part One
    GREED
    CHAPTER 1
    GAMBLING
    1. I'M JUST HERE TO SEE MOM. REALLY.

    Only 5 percent of the people who come to Las Vegas say they come to gamble. Yet 87 percent of the people who come to Las Vegas end up gambling while they are here. That's how pervasive the betting culture is in Sin City.

    And yet deluded tourists keep on coming. According to the latest annual Visitor Profile Study:

    Picture 2 40 percent of visitors say they come to Las Vegas for vacation.

    Picture 3 15 percent of visitors say they come to Las Vegas to visit friends and/or family.

    Picture 4 9 percent of visitors say they come to Las Vegas for conventions, conferences, and/or business-related purposes.

    Note:GLS Research conducts on-the-Strip interviews with some 3,600 visitors a year to compile the data for the study, at the behest of the Las Vegas Conventions and Visitors Authority.

    2. FIVE BEN FRANKLINS

    All those people who don't come to Vegas to gamble but do actually gamble while they are here admit to an average gambling budget of $500.

    3. GODAWFUL GLITER GULCH

    Glitter Gulch a.k.a. downtown Las Vegas is to the Strip as a two-dollar whore is to a high-priced call girl. Both give you, roughly (perhaps very roughly, if you're into that sort of thing) the same experience, but one does it with class while the other well, the other leaves you feeling like you've been with a two-dollar hooker.

    Unlike the glitzy Strip, downtown evokes images of Vegas past. You know, mouth-breathers from God-knows-where and buffets that are breeding grounds for E. coli.

    Sure, some of the downtown properties make an effort to look spiffy: Fitzgeralds, the Golden Nugget, umm We're stumped. Others look like a refuge for Fellini film extras: The Western, the El Cortez, the Golden Gate and, well, pretty much all the rest of them.

    Some will claim the odds downtown are preferable to the odds on the Strip, but who cares? At least you're not likely to get VD from a toilet seat in The Mirage.

    4. AT LEAST IT'S CHEAP

    Rooms at The Western Hotel and Casino may have signs reminding you not to have guests (i.e., hookers) in your room, but at least the place is dirt-cheap. Most nights at the Western will run you less than twenty bucks.

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