Many thanks to our editors Andrea Norville and Victoria Sandbrook, our book designer Ashley Vierra, our cover designer Sylvia McArdle, and the entire Adams Media team for making this book happen.
INTRODUCTION
LAS VEGAS: ALL THE SINS AT ONCE
In your hometown, can you satisfy your itch for greed and gamble at the grocery store? We're not talking about scratch-off games for the so-called education lottery. We're talking pulling slot handles or playing a few hands of video poker. Hell, no! But you can in Las Vegas. In Las Vegas, the seven deadly sins are as omnipresent as glory holes in the bus station bathroom. And greed's just the first of them.
As for hometown lust, can you go to topless pool parties without worrying about police intervention or scarring the neighbors' kids for life? 'Cause you can in Vegas. Pair lust with greed and you've got the crowning glories of Sin City.
You can probably find plenty of ways to sate your gluttony fix even in your hometown but it's unlikely you've got a local hookah bar or the chance to buy a bottle of cut-rate bourbon at 5 a.m. on Sunday morning.
As for sloth: in Sin City, sloth is taken to a whole new level. Don't believe us? Do you have legions of the homeless living in your town's storm drains? Didn't think so.
If lust and greed are the queen and king of Sin City's trangressions, then wrath is this couple's crack baby, and it's crawling around everywhere! Mobsters? Check. Murderers? Check. Visits from the 9/11 hijackers and members of the Heaven's Gate cult, prior to their explosive appearances on the public scene? Check.
You might argue that some washed-up has-been of a former starlet couldn't possibly have much pride if she is only attracting crowds in a place where folks go to focus on other things (like greed and lust), but you'd be wrong. Even the failures in Las Vegas have a certain je ne sais quoi. So there. Who's famous from your hometown? Huh?
And finally, there's envy. Sure, you've got envy back home. You know That asshole gets a promotion, and you get squat. But Las Vegas soars envy to new heights. Some believe God himself is so envious of Sin City that he attacked a locals' casino with a bolt of lightning!
In The Sordid Secrets of Las Vegas, you will learn about all of the sins that make Sin City, well, Sin City. This book is divided into seven sections, each of which focuses on one of your favorite seven deadly transgressions. It's filled with all kinds of fascinating, hysterical, and occasionally unbelievable tales that the leaders of this infamous desert community would probably prefer you did not know.
So, get ready to take a sin-filled armchair journey into the ugly heart of one of the world's most sinful and let's face it coolest places.
CHAPTER 1
GAMBLING
1. I'M JUST HERE TO SEE MOM. REALLY.
Only 5 percent of the people who come to Las Vegas say they come to gamble. Yet 87 percent of the people who come to Las Vegas end up gambling while they are here. That's how pervasive the betting culture is in Sin City.
And yet deluded tourists keep on coming. According to the latest annual Visitor Profile Study:
40 percent of visitors say they come to Las Vegas for vacation.
15 percent of visitors say they come to Las Vegas to visit friends and/or family.
9 percent of visitors say they come to Las Vegas for conventions, conferences, and/or business-related purposes.
Note:GLS Research conducts on-the-Strip interviews with some 3,600 visitors a year to compile the data for the study, at the behest of the Las Vegas Conventions and Visitors Authority.
2. FIVE BEN FRANKLINS
All those people who don't come to Vegas to gamble but do actually gamble while they are here admit to an average gambling budget of $500.
3. GODAWFUL GLITER GULCH
Glitter Gulch a.k.a. downtown Las Vegas is to the Strip as a two-dollar whore is to a high-priced call girl. Both give you, roughly (perhaps very roughly, if you're into that sort of thing) the same experience, but one does it with class while the other well, the other leaves you feeling like you've been with a two-dollar hooker.
Unlike the glitzy Strip, downtown evokes images of Vegas past. You know, mouth-breathers from God-knows-where and buffets that are breeding grounds for E. coli.
Sure, some of the downtown properties make an effort to look spiffy: Fitzgeralds, the Golden Nugget, umm We're stumped. Others look like a refuge for Fellini film extras: The Western, the El Cortez, the Golden Gate and, well, pretty much all the rest of them.
Some will claim the odds downtown are preferable to the odds on the Strip, but who cares? At least you're not likely to get VD from a toilet seat in The Mirage.
4. AT LEAST IT'S CHEAP
Rooms at The Western Hotel and Casino may have signs reminding you not to have guests (i.e., hookers) in your room, but at least the place is dirt-cheap. Most nights at the Western will run you less than twenty bucks.