Emalou King - Under My Roof: A Mothers Story of the Heinous Crime of Incest—

Praise for Under My Roof

Under My Roof is acourageous, at times compelling, honest and informative narrative.Kings well-crafted, all-too-familiar images present a freshinsight despite the major challenges of the thinking in this fieldand in the law.

Diane Bridgeman, Ph.D., LicensedPsychologist, Chair of the American Psychological AssociationsAdvisory Committee on Colleague Assistance, and Chair of theCalifornia Disaster Mental Health Coalition

Under My Roof is a brave,compelling and necessary story of one mothers attempt to protecther daughter in an era before there was real help available. Wehave very few accounts of incest from the perspective of themother, and Emalou King has given us a heartbreakingly honest bookthat takes us through the suffering and into healing. This storywill be supportive for all mothers whose children have been abused;for all survivors of abuse who want to understand more about theirmothers, and it should be required reading for every professionalwho works with families in which incest has taken place.

Ellen Bass, Author of The Courageto Heal: A Guide for Women Survivors of Child SexualAbuse (HarperCollins 1983 )co-authored with Laura Davis; and,The Human Line (Copper Canyon Press, 2007); Mules ofLove (BOA, 2002) which won the Lambda Literary Award; Featuredon the March/April 2011 cover of the American PoetryReview.

Under My Roof is anoutstanding contribution, and King being a nurse adds to the cache.This is a fresh point of view...

Marla Miller, April 18, 2011,TheWriter Magazine; Founder,MarketingTheMuse.com

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Under My Roof

AMothersStory of theHeinous Crime of Incest

Second Edition

Emalou King, RN, BSN, Phn

Published by Six Degrees Publishing Group atSmashwords

Copyright 2013, 2011 Emalou King

All rights reserved. No part of this book maybe reproduced, distributed or transmitted in any form or by anymeans without the prior written consent of the copyright owner andthe publisher, excepting brief quotes used in reviews. Forinformation, contact: Publisher@SixDegreesPublishing.com

ISBN 978-4524-8148-7 (digital version)

Cover: Judy Bullard

A first edition of this book was published in2011.

Authors note: This work is a Memoir. Thisstory authentically reflects the authors present recollection ofher experiences of a 20-year period in her life. Certain names,locations and identifying characteristics have been changed, andcertain individuals are composites. Dialogue and events have beenrecreated from memory, and in some cases, have been compressed toconvey the substance of what was said or what occurred.

Publishers note: Included in this SecondEdition of Under My Roof is both a resource guide and aseries of reflective questions developed by the author meant toassist the reader, study group and/or book club facilitator byopening the conversation about the recognition of the signs ofsexual abuse, bringing an end to it and beginning the healingprocess. Neither are meant to take the place of professionalcounseling.

This book is dedicated to survivors and theirmothers with hope for healing of their wounded souls.

~ Emalou King

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Contents

Foreword

I n more than one way,Under My Roof reminds me of a mystery novel. The memoirbegins like innumerable accounts of dating, romance and eventualmarriage in America. The only hint of trouble to come is dislike ofEmmas parents for Ray, their soon-to-be son-in-law, a not unheardof response. As the story unfolds, there are more intimations oftrouble to comedrunkenness, a terrible accidentbut nothing toprepare us for the scene revealing a heartbreaking and most heinousevil.

We see this family develop through the eyesof the mother. We feel with her an unease with the moods, anger anddrinking of her spouse. Routine and apparent normalcy keep thefamily going, just as it does in our own lives. Ray has somelikable but strange parentsanother tiny hint of the horror tocome?and his faults, but nothing indicative of molestation. Wouldto God molesters appear as the criminals they are! Alas, they looklike regular guys. Like the clever murderer at the center of amystery, Ray manages to disguise his methods of manipulation inpursuit of his perversion.

If we can believe the astounding number ofchildren now being molestedmost of them victimized by members oftheir own familiesthis book is both necessary and, to use astrange word, comforting. Under My Roof is necessary becauseit teaches us how insidious and damaging molestation is and howrelentless and devious the familial perpetrator can be. The memoiris comforting because Emma is so much like ourselves: raising herkids, struggling with her husbands apparent weaknesses butunderstandably missing what he took such pains to hide.

Under My Roof is also comforting inthat abuse and its attendant agony and pain do not have to have thelast word: Faith in God contributes to the healing, which beginsslowly and wonderfully to unfold.

Parents, teenagers, teachers, clergy,counselors and people in law enforcement would surely benefit fromreading this book. Conversational in style, Under My Roofgets under the skin as well as startling and moving the heart. Ifound Emmas story gripping and the book difficult to put down. Ihope and pray Under My Roof has a wide readership.

Fr. Patrick J. Dooling

Diocese of Monterey

Acknowledgments

G od comes first, andthen I am grateful to my family, close friends and colleagues, plusmy Al-Anon sponsor and my parish priest, who supported me intelling MY story.

A special thanks to fellow students in theThursday afternoon Ellen Bass class for writers. The advice andfeedback was most helpful.

I need to acknowledge the support from theagents, editors and other authors at the San Francisco WritersConference.

Thank you to 12-Step Drug Treatmentfacilities across the country and their intervention techniques, aswell as the Survivors Healing Center for the victims of sexualabuse whose staff continue to raise awareness in the communitiesthrough education, recognition and the media.

I am especially thankful to Six DegreesPublishing Group, who also saw the need to open eyes and give avoice to mothers of survivors of these sex crimes.

Emalou King

Introduction

A s a society, we haveunder-reacted and under-estimated the scope of the problem ofchildhood sexual abuse. When the first edition of Under MyRoof was released as an ebook in 2011, my purpose was toportray how this heinous crime happens in a homefrom amothers perspective. The book provided a venue forexpression of the secret, unspoken and buried parts of peopleslives. The story was meant to open eyes and ears by providing anenvironment and opportunity for sharing and healing.

One day while at the grocery store, a retiredsheriff who had read Under My Roof stopped me and said,After reading your book, a woman found the courage to report acrime of sexual abuse. I was ecstatic to hear thatso much so thatI forgot what I had gone into the store to buy.

On another day while out shopping with twowomen friends, I told them the name of my memoir. Each lookedsurprised by the title and immediately revealed their experiencesof being molestedone by a neighbor and the other by an uncle.Neither had shared their experience with their mothers. Since thisbook was originally released, I have heard about domestic abuseinvolving fathers, uncles, adoptions and first marriages, includingseveral rapes, incestuous siblings and sadly, abortions.