Prologue
You know how Im horrible at physics? my friend said.
Youre not that bad, I lied. The girl was pulling straight Ds.
Well my parents had a parent-teacher conference the other day with my physics teacher, and my dad said the most sexist shit in the world when they were talking about my grades.
Her father asked her physics teacher if she might not be getting good grades in the class because she was a girl. Her physics teacher looked at her father, confused and slightly taken aback by the question. He told her father that some of his best students are girls; her gender had nothing to do with it. No ones good at everything, so physics probably isnt her strongest suit.
Why did my dad have to bring my gender into it? My friend shook her head and then never talked to me about it again. I think about it now and then, and it makes my blood boil every time.
Feminism is such a complex topic. A stigma exists suggesting its not really about equalitythat people who claim to be feminists are really just trying to prove they are better than men or superior to the other gender. It suggests when women talk about the everyday issues they face simply due to their gender, theyre making it up because they want attention, hate all men, or are angry and crazy.
Often times, I think about how fortunate I am to be living in America. By law, women can do everything men can do. No explicit law exists restricting women from having the same jobs as men, going out late at night by themselves, or letting their voices be heard outside their homes. But even with these basic rights, women still dont earn the same money on the dollar, they walk in fear of being attacked as the sun sets, and theyre often shunned by society for speaking out in the same manner as men.
People still embrace stereotypes deeply integrated into our society that seek to keep women on a lower platform than men. People still believe women cant do math and science, they are less than their husbands, and they cant make decisions for themselves. Women and men do not have it the same. This is not an opinion; it is a fact. It is an unfortunate reality that makes women turn to feminism, and its the reason why some men and women regard feminism as an angry cult of crazy women.
Many believe that equality has already been achieved. In their minds, the right to vote and the right to join the workforce was all equality really entailed. Others do not believe in equality. Men and women just arent the same because our biology makes us different. So what the hell are these feminists even fighting for?
By definition, Feminism is the belief in the social, economic, and political equality of the sexes. Modern feminism in a country like America has less to do with governmental or legal issues than with our societal structure and the way our culture does not permit women and men to be perceived as equal. Businesses have found loopholes in paying women less than men for working the same jobs. Corporations are structured in such a way that the government has little say in their workings, hiring, or pay process, so when it comes down to the paycheck, women see less zeros than men. On top of that, when women are raped or assaulted in America, it isnt uncommon for some to wonder what the woman did to deserve it. Was she out too late at night? Was she intoxicated? What was she wearing? Was she, god forbid, by herself?
While in a discussion about rape, someone once said to me, You cant expect to leave your doors unlocked and not have something stolen. In case you werent able to decipher this incredibly fucked up analogy, the house in this case is a woman, and leaving the door unlocked has to do with a woman putting herself in a sticky situation. The analogy the speaker used essentially states this hypotheticalbut oftentimes realwoman was asking for it.
This type of overt sexism can be seen in many instances. An assertive man is confident and knows what he is doing, whereas an assertive woman is a bitch. Shes just trying to feel good about herself by bringing other people down. Our society is built on the stereotype that a female must maintain a certain number of feminine qualities, including being quiet, doing as she is told, and not saying exactly what she means to avoid hurting anyone elses feelings.
Women deal with some form of sexism on a regular basis, whether it be from their partners, the companies they work for, or their own fathers. My friend had a rude awakening that dayjust like most women do at some point in their livesthat she would be treated very differently if she was a boy.
***
This book will cover global issues beyond common knowledge. Some things in this book I had no awareness of until I researched deeper into global feminism. I did my best to cover major countries and cultures around the world, but of course, I was unable to cover everything. The F Word could be the first in a series of books on feminism, and I will continue to bright light every injustice until the doctors tell me I have carpal tunnel and can no longer write.
Im writing this book to tell you how it feels to be a woman. Im writing this book to tell you that there are so many obstacles women must overcome every day but do not share with the rest of the world. Im writing this book because I feel for other women in other countries and societies who have it so much worse than I do. Im writing this book because I used to be so afraid of speaking my mind due to the fear that people would so easily dismiss my thoughts.
I cant tell you how many times I have considered throwing the whole book away and writing about something else. I have thought about all the people that would just look at the cover and put the book back in disgust. I have wondered how many people will hate what I have to say and use their words to put my book to shame. I have had to remind myself I need to write this book, and if I dont, I will never truly be at peace.
This topic is controversial as hell, and there is no way to maneuver around feminism without offending at least half of the worlds people. But some things arent meant to be agreeable and pleasant. We need to talk about the things that make us uncomfortable, and this is one of those things for me. The fear I have of publishing this book is not enough to make me switch topics or hold back on my thoughts. I will speak my whole truth, and you are allowed to make whatever judgments or comments you so please. My only request to you, the reader, is to read the entirety of the book before making your assumptions on the topic or movement as a whole. Feminism, like I said earlier, is a multiplex subject that takes a fair amount of time to process and understand. I, myself, am still learning new things about this certain issue every day. I ask that you think beyond yourself and the people you know when making comparisons to the women in this book because everyone is dealing with their own set of demons.