Nancy Mullane - Life After Murder: Five Men in Search of Redemption

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Table of Contents

To Max and Nayeli

Authors Note

I never thought I would meet a murderer face to faceat least I hoped I wouldnt.

I suppose I lived my life with an unconscious fear it could happen. But just as unconsciously I reasoned that if I was careful not to walk alone down dark streets or hang out with the wrong type of people, I could avoid that most horrible of encounters.

Absent knowing a real murderer, I filled in the gaps with lurid news stories and grainy mug shots as the faces of people to look out for. Each time I was reassured: the vile, terrifying images didnt look like anyone I knew.

Its only natural that not many of us know what murderers really look like. When a person commits murder, if he (or she) is arrested or turns himself over to the authorities, he is immediately locked up in county jail to await prosecution. With a trial pending or negotiations for a plea deal moving forward, he doesnt talk to anyone beside his attorney and immediate family. If he ends up pleading guilty or the jury convicts him, he is sentenced, handcuffed, put on a bus to a prison, and locked away to do his time. Years pass. If he is ever released from prison, he makes every effort to fade back into society, anonymous .

Thats why we dont know the people murderers become. We dont know whether the saying once a murderer, always a murderer is really true. The murderer in prison isnt allowed to talk to us, and the paroled murderer riding on your subway car is probably afraid to.

In June 2007, my radio editor asked me to do a story about overcrowding and the skyrocketing costs of Californias prisons. Instead of producing a quick-turnaround story using statistics and a few talking heads from local universities and government, I decided to try to talk to the people most affected, and that meant getting access to a real prison and the people locked up inside.

Thats when I met Don. Then came Eddie, Richie, Phillip, and Jesse. Looking into each of these mens faces, studying their expressions and their body language, I realized that each of them was much different than the monster I had envisioned as the typical murderer.

Over the next four years, I made dozens of trips to San Quentin. Holding on to my erratic press access with a mix of Irish luck and a reporters persistence, building trust with both prison officials and the imprisoned, I was rewarded with exclusive, extensive, unheard-of access to men behind the walls.

The men in this book all did the unthinkablefor some, the unforgivable. They killed people, tore families apart, and devastated communities. Sentenced to life in prison with the possibility of parole, they were offered a promise of sorts: that if they complied with societys demandsif they paid the price for their crime and reformedone day they could earn a second chance at freedom. Each man took that hope to heart and worked for years to turn his life around.

But redemption and hope are not enough to get out of prison if youre a convicted murderer serving a life sentence with the possibility of parole. You must first face the scrutiny of parole board commissioners appointed by the governor, and in a few states, such as California, Maryland, and Oklahoma, the governorthe person holding the most politically charged office in the statehas the power to reverse the boards decision.

All five men admit they committed murder, and therefore, their stories invite the judgment of those who read this book. I imagine some readers will feel comfortable making that judgment. Others will be satisfied the parole boards, the governors, and ultimately the courts have made the appropriate ruling and that justice has been served. Some may never again want these men to see the light of day outside the prison walls; others may be more forgiving.

The question is: Who is responsible for making the final call?

Though I have not interviewed victims families, I do not mean to imply that they are in any way marginal to this story. They have suffered and continue to suffer immeasurably from senseless violence and loss. I am sorry for their grief and hope the telling of this book does not bring them additional sorrow, but answers.

By focusing my story on murderers and the institutions responsible for them, I do not in any way intend to negate the seriousness of their crimes or the suffering they caused. I would like to take you along on the same journey I made: from fear and hatred of our societys most reviled citizensand an ignorance of the flawed and costly policies by which we carry out their sentencesto an understanding of who these men were when they were young, stupid, and selfish, and who they have become more than twenty years after they committed murder.

Life After Murder is their story.

I wear it for the prisoner who has long paid for his crimes
But is there because hes a victim of the times.

JOHNNY CASH
Man in Black

one

FACE TO FACE

JUNE 2007

A half hour north of San Francisco, just past a string of car dealerships and a shopping mall, a deep-green official highway sign announcing the exit to San Quentin State Prison hangs over the freeway. Even at zoom speed, you cant miss the massive clump of warm, vaguely mustard-colored walls and uncommonly long buildings just beyond the tidal grasses of the bird estuary to the east.

When I moved to the Bay Area, I was surprised by how close the prison was to everyday life. Driving by, I would squint into the distance, trying to catch sight of life in the narrow slits of windows. I wondered if prisoners could see out, or if it was only people on the outside who couldnt see in. It was a reminder that we, the civilized of society, are protected from the truly dangerous people.

With a story assignment burning on deadline, I take the San Quentin exit for the first time. I didnt have to go inside to get a story, but if I wanted to get a radio story, it meant getting the sounds of the prison and the voices of the prisoners.

After a few calls, I connected with Claire-Elizabeth DeSophia, a volunteer helping inmates at the prison become drug and alcohol counselors. She let me know right off the bat it wouldnt be easy for a reporter to get inside, but once she was satisfied I was not bent on doing some sensationalist crime story, she said she would try to help. Youll have to get cleared by the wardens office. I cant bring you in without their approval. You can tell them I invited you. But if the warden doesnt like you...

A week later I received word: I was cleared to go inside the prison, home to more than 5,000 inmates. Lieutenant Eric Messick, the public information officer at San Quentin, gave me clear instructions: Dont wear blue jeans and dont expect the warden to trade you for a prisoner if youre taken hostage.

As a reporter, nothing is more thrilling than a new story, a new beat. But now, driving down the freeway, the closer I get to the prison exit, the edgier I feel. My trusty reporter instincts and equally reliable instincts for self-preservation alternate in a stream of questions : Will I be allowed to talk to inmates? Will they be kept at a safe distance in handcuffs? What would it be like to be a hostage? Were they serious about not trading me for a prisoner?

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