I Don't Want To Kill You
DAN WELLS
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Copyright 2011 Dan Wells
The right of Dan Wells to be identified as the Author of the Work has been asserted by him in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.
Excerpt from who knows if the moons from 100 Selected Poems by e. e. cummings 1923 e. e. cummings. Reprinted by permission of W. W. Norton & Company.
Apart from any use permitted under UK copyright law, this publication may only be reproduced, stored, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means, with prior permission in writing of the publishers or, in the case of reprographic production, in accordance with the terms of licences issued by the Copyright Licensing Agency.
First published as an Ebook by Headline Publishing Group in 2011
All characters in this publication are fictitious and any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
Cataloguing in Publication Data is available from the British Library
eISBN : 978 0 7553 5431 3
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Table of Contents
Dan Wells has a Bachelors in English from Brigham Young University where he was the editor of The Leading Edge magazine. He now runs www.timewastersguide.com.
This book is dedicated to my teachers, who taught me how to read, and to my parents, who taught me why.
Acknowledgements
I love writing acknowledgements, because I get to sit back and remember all the awesome people who believe in me and in my book, and who helped to make it a reality. Well start with the professional crew: my agent, Sara Crowe, my editors, Moshe Feder and Hannah Sheppard, and the whole UK team of publicists and editors: Maura Brickell, Sam Eades, Celine Kelly, and everyone else at Headline. You guys are awesome. Next comes my writing group, the fabled Rats with Swords: Karla Bennion, Drew Olds, Ben Olsen, Janci Patterson, Brandon Sanderson, Emily Sanderson, Isaac Stewart, Eric James Stone, Heidi Summers, and Rachel Whitaker. This is such a better book thanks to their input, I cant even tell you. Many other friends and family gave their support and encouragement as well, including Martha Andelin, Dave Bird, Steve Diamond, Nick Dianatkhah, Eric Ehlers, Dawn Wells, Rob Wells, and of course my parents, Robert and Patty, whom I already mentioned in the dedication. Theyre going to get big heads.
Special consideration goes to Allison Hill and Jennifer Zeller, who wanted to be in my book and were intensely excited to learn of their own grisly deaths. Last but not least, a shout-out to my future son-in-law Thorfinneas Olsen: heres looking at you, big guy. Consider this the dowry.
where
always
its
Spring and everyones
in love and flowers pick themselves
who knows if the moons
e. e. cummings
Prologue
I didnt know Jenny Zeller very well. Nobody did, really. I guess thats why she killed herself.
I know she used to have friends, and I know she did a lot of stuff at school. When we were kids she used to play unicorns with her friend on the playground at recess, which I remember only because I used to think her friend was cute. By middle school her friend had moved away, and Jenny ran for student government not President, just one of the weird little ones like Secretary or Treasurer. Her campaign posters had cats on them, so I guess she liked cats. She didnt win. By high school shed gone off my radar completely. According to her obituary, she was fluent in American Sign Language, but thats not the kind of thing that makes people remember who you are. Thats the kind of thing you read in an obituary and say, Oh. Huh.
Her suicide, in early July, came as a shock to everyone. She didnt leave a note she just went to bed one night, apparently a little more melancholy than usual, and the next morning her mom found her on the floor of her bathroom with her wrists slit wide open. And the thing is, Ive seen a lot of death: over the past year Ive watched my neighbour across the street sprout claws and gut three people; I dragged my nearly-headless therapist from a car (oh, the irony); and I spent three days chained in a psychos basement while he tortured and killed a parade of helpless women. Ive seen a lot of sick, gory stuff, and Ive even done some of it myself. Ive been through a lot, to put it simply, but Jenny Zellers death was different. Somehow, this one, simple suicide that I didnt even witness was the hardest to deal with.
You see, I didnt want to kill those people. I did it to save my town from a pair of vicious killers, but in doing so I had to break every rule Id ever set for myself. In some ways I risked my life for Jenny Zeller.
But whats the point of saving someones life if shes just going to kill herself anyway?
Chapter 1
The phone rang four times before someone picked up.
Hello?
A woman. Perfect.
Hello, I said, speaking clearly. Id muffled the receiver with a sweater to mask my voice, and I wanted to make sure she could understand me. Is this Mrs Julie Andelin?
Im sorry, who is this?
I smiled. Right to the point. Some of them babbled on forever, and I could barely get a word in edgewise. So many mothers were like that, Id learned: home alone all day, desperate for a conversation with anyone over the age of three. The last one Id called had thought I was from the PTA, and talked to me for nearly a minute until I had to shout something shocking just to get her attention. This one was playing along.
Of course, what I had to say was pretty shocking regardless.
I saw your son today. I paused. Hes always such a happy kid.
Silence.
How will she react?
What do you want?
Once again, right to the point. Almost too practical, perhaps. Is she scared? Is she taking this too calmly? I need to say more.
Youll be pleased to know little Jordan walked straight home from daycare past the drugstore, down the street to the old red house, then around the corner and past the apartments and straight home to you. He looked both ways at every street, and he never talked to strangers.
Who are you? Her breathing was heavier now; more scared, more angry. I couldnt read people very well over the phone, but Mrs Andelin had been kind enough to answer hers in the living room, and I could see her through the window. She looked out now, wide eyes peering into the darkness, then quickly wrenched the curtains closed. I smiled. I listened to the air go in and out of her nose in and out, in and out. Who are you? she demanded again.
Her fear was real. She wasnt faking she was legitimately terrified for her son. Does that mean shes innocent? Or just a really good liar?
Julie Andelin had worked in the bank for nearly fifteen years, her entire adult life, and last week she had quit. That wasnt suspicious in itself people quit jobs all the time, and it didnt mean anything except that they wanted a new job - but I couldnt afford to ignore even the smallest lead. I didnt know what the demons could do, but Id seen at least one who could kill a person and take its place, and whos to say that this one couldnt do the same? Maybe Julie Andelin was bored with the bank, but maybe just maybe she was dead and gone, and had been replaced by something that couldnt keep up the same routines. A sudden change of lifestyle might be, from a certain point of view, the most suspicious thing in the world.
