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Les Krantz - The Worlds Worsts: A Compendium of the Most Ridiculous Feats, Facts, & Fools of All Time

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Les Krantz The Worlds Worsts: A Compendium of the Most Ridiculous Feats, Facts, & Fools of All Time
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A hilarious collection of the lowest of the lows from the worst generals to the dumbest dogs, the shortest Hollywood marriages to the most dangerous golf courses.

The Worlds Worsts is the latest compendium of quirky information and vampedup trivia from Pop Culture guru Les Krantz. This entertaining and utterly addictive reference taps into the dark side of human nature and the lessthanstellar and perhaps best forgotten moments in history.

Drew Barrymore makes the Top10 Shortest Celebrity Marriage list TWICE!

#4 Drew Barrymore and Jeremy Thomas 19 days

#7 Drew Barrymore and Tom Green 5 months

Worst Military Leaders

#2 Philip VI of France (12931350)

Lost 4000 (onethird of his force) to a mere 100 English soldiers in the Battle of Crcy

The Worlds Dumbest Dogs

#1 Afghan Hound

#7 Beagle

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TO DADDY MAXWELLS ARCTIC CIRCLE DINER, WHERE PHILOSOPHERS, ROMEOS, ANGELS, AND I MEET TO EAT, AND WHERE I THOUGHT THIS THING UP AT TABLE NUMBER EIGHT.

Les Krantz

T heres not much good news these days. Theres a war going on, the country is divided on the most important issues of the day, and the economy is not great. With all the grief we have to endure, sometimes it helps to learn that there are some worse predicaments we could be in. This is what our book is really all about: how bad things can get, and often do. We document it with examples of the bestI guess I really mean the worstsordid feats, first-rate flops, and the last-place finishes.

My coauthor Sue Sveum and I spent the better part of a year finding them. Among other things, we combed libraries, culling the most demoralizing historical events we could find. The daily newspapers were another source of inspiration, since they are fabulous repositories of todays most depressing news. We also looked beyond the celebrity faade of famous individuals, discovering some had pretty dubious achievements in their past. What a wonderful surprise it was to learn that so many of them are misfits and malcontents, just like the rest of us.

Take General Manuel the Pineapple Noriega for example, one of the worst generals of all time. Remember him, the pockmarked head of state in Panama? When he was defending his nation against the American invasion of 1989, he hid in the Vatican embassy. Within hours of the troops landing, he was on the phone negotiating surrender. He was caught and tried (on drug charges), and hes still in the slammer. Read about him here. Itll make you feel good to know what a better guy you are than him.

People aside, theres inanimate stuff that can also lighten your mood. Take eel-flavored ice cream, or the Yugo (the worst car ever made), or spam from Nigerian conmen. Or have you heard about the golf course in South Africa with 15-foot crocodiles running about? Do you know what the dumbest dogs are? Now you can look it up, right here in this book. You get the gist. In this life where everyone stumbles now and then, some of us need a little assurance that there are people, places, and things worse off than us. Isnt that a relief!

Les Krantz

1
People
Most Prominent Losers

In 2002 the Motion Picture Academy finally righted a wrong and gave Peter OToole an honorary Oscar for his body of work. Along with the late Richard Burton, OToole shares the dubious honor of being the most-nominated loser in the acting categories, with seven nominations apiece.

Many of the all-time greats in cinema remain Oscar also-rans, like Greta Garbo, Cary Grant, and Edward G. Robinson, to name just three of the more notable oversights. That said, winning an Oscar doesnt always guarantee lasting fame or decent roles. In the 1930s, Luise Rainer won back-to-back Oscars, but her career effectively ended shortly thereafter, giving rise to the Hollywood legend of an Oscar curse.

Curse or no curse, here are the actors whove racked up the most nominations without ever getting the chance to clasp the gold statuette and thank the Academy through grateful tears:

  1. Richard Burton: 7 nominations
  2. Peter OToole: 7 nominations
  3. Deborah Kerr: 6 nominations
  4. Thelma Ritter: 6 nominations
  5. Glenn Close: 5 nominations
  6. Irene Dunne: 5 nominations
  7. Albert Finney: 5 nominations
  8. Arthur Kennedy: 5 nominations

And the following 10 actors have each received 4 nominations: Jane Alexander, Warren Beatty, Charles Boyer, Montgomery Clift, Greta Garbo, Marsha Mason, Claude Rains, Mickey Rooney, Rosalind Russell, and Barbara Stanwyck.

So Bad It Was Good

All athletes have their ups and downs. No matter how successful they are, there is always the occasional bump in the road. For some its a bad day, for others its a bad season. For a few, its their claim to fame.

Olympic athletes often attract positive attention when they finish last. They are seen as the underdogs, the brave hearts who dare to try, the ones the world is cheering for. Who can forget the Jamaican bobsled team and their spectacular rise to movie fame?

Here is a ranking of record-setting performances and the athletes who might like to forget them:

1. EDDIE THE EAGLE EDWARDS, OLYMPIC SKI JUMPING

1988: The first and only Olympic ski jumper from Great Britain, The Eagle finished in 57th place, second from last. The 58th finisher would have beaten him, but was disqualified.

2. BRUCE THE MOUSE STRAUSS, BOXING

1970s: The Mouse lost nearly 200 of his 250 boxing matches. He was knocked out on every continent, one time twice in the same night, under two different names.

3. ANGELO SPAGNOLA, GOLF

Won the Worst Prize in his Florida clubs Avid Golfer Contest by shooting a 66on one hole, the infamous 17th, at Jacksonvilles TPC at Sawgrass. On the 12th green, he shouted to a heckler that hed give up his new Mercedes just to get a triple-bogey. His 18-hole score: 257.

4. JOE SULLIVAN, BASEBALL

1893: While 4 or 5 errors a season is acceptable, some players keep their jobs with a dozen or more. The Washington Senators Sullivan, however, committed 106 errors in one season, a record that still stands more than 100 years later. It was rumored fans came to the ballgame as much to watch Joe drop the ball as they did to see the game. That year the Senators set an attendance record.

5. KERRY COLLINS, AMERICAN FOOTBALL

2001: This New York Giants quarterback holds the title for the most fumbles in one season. He had 23. The average number in the NFL is between 2 and 3.

Eddie The Eagle became Eddie the celebrity when the Olympics were over His - photo 1

Eddie The Eagle became Eddie the celebrity when the Olympics were over. His qualifications for the British Olympic ski jumping team? No one else applied. He finished in 57th place (second from last)the 58th finisher would have beaten him, but was disqualified.

6. JAMAICAN BOBSLED TEAM

1988: The first Winter Olympics entry for this tropical island, the team was unable to practice on ice due to the tropical climate at home. Their grit and determination made them a crowd favorite. Their skills and training, however, delivered no better than a last-place finish, but garnered a 1993 Disney movie about them, the smash hit Cool Runnings.

7. DAVE SCHULTZ, HOCKEY

1974: One of the Broad Street Bullies of the Philadelphia Flyers, Schultz was know as The Hammer by his fans. Living up to his image, he set a record for most penalty minutes, 472 in one season.

8. ERIC THE EEL MOUSSAMBANI, OLYMPIC SWIMMING

2001: One of the few athletes ever to represent Equatorial Guinea at the Olympic games, The Eel swam the 100-meter freestyle race in 1:52.07, a full minute slower than the world record. He finished last.

9. ANTHONY YOUNG, BASEBALL

1993: This pitcher set a major league record of 0-27 while with the New York Mets in 1993. Traded to the Cubs in spring 1994, he won his next two starts.

10. MARIO MENDOZA, BASEBALL

1974-82: While playing for three major league teams, this infielder had a consistently low batting average (around .200) that became known as the Mendoza Line, a statistical mark to avoid.

The Most Boring Writers

Although most academics hail Fyodor Dostoevsky as one of the all-time literary greats, the Russian novelists gloomy fiction left vitriolic critic H. L. Mencken ice cold. Never one to pass up an opportunity to topple sacred cows, the writer known as the Bard of Baltimore listed Dostoevsky as one of the literatures ten most boring authors.

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