Vern - Seagalogy: The Ass-Kicking Films of Steven Seagal

PRAISE FOR SEAGALOGY

This book is an instant cult classic bookgasm.com

We cant believe this actually exists, but the world is certainly a better place for it New York Magazine

Its as enlightening as it is thorough. Time Magazine

Uproariously funny... the film book I never knew I always wanted to read. Nerve.com

Vern turns his curious love of the oeuvre of aging action star Steven Seagal into a new branch of academia Entertainment Weekly

Required reading. [Vern] analyzes Seagals body of work including energy drinks he endorsed as if he were deconstructing the Bible New York Post

One of the most compulsively readable film books ever published and Im not kidding about that even a little bit Twitchfilm

Mindblowingly comprehensive Philadelphia Weekly

Affectionate, in-depth and often side splitting joblo.com

Perhaps never before has so much effort been expended on a subject of such limited cultural importance. Nor has it been done to such sidesplitting, wrist-breaking, glass-shattering effect The Columbus Dispatch

Seagalogy isnt a mere work of absurd niche market fanboyism: Its a definitive text. Baltimore Citypaper

As a frequent writer for Aint It Cool News, VERN has gained notoriety for his unorthodox reviewing style and his expertise in the films of Badass Cinema. His review of the slasher movie Chaos earned him a wrestling challenge from its director; his explosive essay on the PG-13 rating of the fourth Die Hard movie prompted Bruce Willis himself to walk barefoot across the broken glass of movie nerd message boards to respond. (Both events are detailed in Verns book Yippee Ki-Yay Moviegoer .) Guillermo Del Toro, the director of Pans Labyrinth , called Vern a National Treasure. He lives in Seattle.

SEAGALOGY

SEAGALOGY

A STUDY OF THE ASS-KICKING FILMS OF STEVEN SEAGAL

9780857687302

Published by

Titan Books

A division of

Titan Publishing Group Ltd

144 Southwark St

London

SE1 0UP

This updated edition March 2012

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

Seagalogy: A Study of the Ass-Kicking Films of Steven Seagal copyright 2008, 2012 by Vern. All rights reserved.

Cover design by Russell Seal, with thanks to Bryan Thiess.

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www.titanbooks.com

www.outlawvern.com

PUBLISHERS NOTE: THIS PUBLICATION HAS NOT BEEN PREPARED, APPROVED, LICENSED OR ENDORSED BY STEVEN SEAGAL, STEVEN SEAGAL ENTERPRISES, OR ANY ENTITY THAT CREATED OR PRODUCED ANY OF THE FILMS OR PROGRAMS DISCUSSED IN THIS BOOK..

The views and opinions expressed by the interviewees and other third party sources in this book are not necessarily those of the author or publisher, and the author and publisher accept no responsibility for inaccuracies or omissions, and the author and publisher specifically disclaim any liability, loss, or risk, whether personal, financial, or otherwise, that is incurred as a consequence, directly or indirectly, from the contents of this book.

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No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, hacking in with help of old CIA buddy) without the prior written permission of the publisher, nor be otherwise circulated in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published and without a similar condition being imposed on the subsequent purchaser.

A possible exception would be if you got the written permission to reproduce this publication from an actor who plays a villain in a Steven Seagal picture, preferably Eric Bogosian or Michael Caine. I would also accept Billy Bob Thornton I guess, but other than him it would have to be the actor playing the lead villain, such as Henry Silva (Above the Law) or the #2 in command villain, such as Gary Busey (Under Siege). Thank you.

A CIP catalogue record for this title is available from the British Library.

Printed in the United States of America.

SEAGALOGY

A STUDY OF THE

ASS-KICKING

FILMS OF

STEVEN SEAGAL

VERN

UPDATED AND EXPANDED EDITION

TITAN BOOKS

CONTENTS

AN INTRODUCTION TO A BOOK

By DAVID GORDON GREEN

I t was the Spring of 1988. I was thirteen years old, growing up in Dallas, Texas and coming to terms with life as a pubescent movie junkie. A distinct memory I have is the weekend when the film Above the Law came to the local theaters. I had been primed for Steven Seagal through countless articles introducing him as the next great action hero. This was quite a claim. Could he top Chuck Norris in Invasion U.S.A. ? Would he dethrone Charles Bronson from my favorite film Murphys Law ? Could he channel Sonny Chiba, Michael Dudikoff and Dolph Lundgren in the same roundhouse kick? Unlikely, but my anticipation could not be ignored. Fortunately, the release fell on the same day as the Lea Thompson vehicle Casual Sex and my erection was primed in two directions: sneak into a double feature hopefully get my eyes on the boobies of the beauty I so admired from All the Right Moves and Howard the Duck and possibly get rocked by the next admiral of Aikido. The day did not disappoint.

Since that awakening as an audience member, I have had the privilege to cheer for Seagal as he dominated the genre. Who wants to see Jean Claude Van-Damme in Death Warrant or fucking Cyborg when you could witness the brutal human elegance of Seagals Marked For Death or the astonishing Hard to Kill ? His stretch of films that promoted themselves with three dramatic words was for me a trademark and a guarantee that I would be getting my moneys worth (though to be honest, I typically snuck into the movies in the first place slipping past the R rating and ticket price). I suppose for the majority of the American public, Seagal truly arrived with mainstream muscle with Under Siege Playboy Playmates jumping out of cakes and whatnot but for me... it was all born in the early flicks, not quite a franchise, but his character was never too far a departure from the last.

A strange tide turned as his fame and fortune grew. Perhaps it was the dazzling spotlight of Tinseltown that prompted a shift in his work. He was no longer studying linguistics and martial arts in the Orient and making intimate action movies. Suddenly, I found myself sitting in front of a slew of message films. Beginning with On Deadly Ground, Seagal began to slip environmental themes, spiritual quests and politics into his films. Perhaps he had lost touch with reality and was living in a vacuum. Where was the soft spoken shitkicker that I gravitated toward in my youth? I was worried that soon I would experience the cramps I felt when I ended my affair with Tom Laughlins Billy Jack during his two silly sequels.

Fortunately, as any true movie fanatic, I was able to grow to appreciate his personal crusade. I chose to accept this curveball and take my own enjoyment and expectations to the next level. I began waiting for his films to come out on video and watching them with friends, then soon had no option but to experience his series of foreign financed Direct to Video projects like Black Dawn . I felt obligated to talk to the screen during Half Past Dead and Im optimistic that Out For a Kill will ferment with age like a fine wine. Through his prolific output, in some way he has become even more interesting. I have returned to watching his films back to back with other films, but strangely paired now with films along the lines of The Kid with the 200 I.Q., The Englishman Who Went Up a Hill, And Came Down a Mountain , or frequently Troop Beverly Hills .