Kealan Burke - Offline
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Kealan Patrick Burke
Offline
Copyright 2011 by Kealan Patrick Burke
What follows is the transcript from a series of screenshots emailed to the Columbus City Police on June 7th, 2011, and subsequently distributed to the media. In the wake of the investigation and as a result of the extensive media coverage, countless falsified copies and revised versions of the document were later posted to various social media platforms via a "meme" which later proved to be a virus.
This is the official authorized version of the document
# # #May 2nd, 2010
Josh: Hey
Mandy: hi
Josh: Thanks for accepting my request
Mandy: np. Why did you add me?
Josh: thought we had a lot in common
Mandy: cool
Josh: plus, you're hot, lol!
Mandy: thx
Josh: so how r you?
Mandy: good. Gotta go.
Josh: ok
Mandy is offline
May 3rd, 2010
Josh: Hi Mandy
Mandy: hey
Josh: What's going on?
Mandy: nt much. u?
Josh: cooking
Mandy: that's cool
Mandy is offline
May 4th, 2010
Josh: Hey.
Mandy: Hey.
Josh: What are you up to?
Mandy: Txtng my friend
Josh: Cool. How is she?
Mandy: Not so good. Her online 'boyfriend' just dumped herlol.
Josh: that sucks.
Mandy: Yeah. I better go.
Josh: Oh, ok. Sorry I bothered you.
Mandy: You didn't. ttyl.
Josh: Ok.
Mandy is offline
May 5th, 2010
Josh: Hey
Mandy: Hey.
Josh: How are you?
Mandy: Ok. u?
Josh: bored
Mandy: sorry to hear that.
Josh: I like your new profile pic.
Mandy: thx!
Josh: you should be a model
Mandy: lol. Yeah, right.
Josh: I'm serious. You look a bit like Celine Dion, only hotter!
Mandy: Ugh, Celine Dion is gross, lol.
Josh: lol, sorry! Well you're not gross.
Mandy: thx
Josh: so do you have a boyfriend?
Mandy is offline
May 7th, 2010
Josh: Hey
Mandy: Hi. Jeez, do you ever sleep?
Josh: what do you mean?
Mandy: you're always on here.
Josh: not always. But a lot, I guess. Nothing better to do, lol.
Josh: what are you up to?
Mandy: not much. Just responding to email
Josh: sweet.
Josh: do you get much email?
Mandy: lol
Josh: what?
Mandy: nothing. Just an odd question
Josh: oh, lol. Sorry. Just really bored. Not many people to talk to on here
Mandy: aww
Josh: I don't have many friends
Mandy: on FB?
Josh: anywhere
Mandy: that's sad. Sorry:-(
Josh: s'okay. Where I live it's hard to be popular
Mandy: where do you live?
Josh: did you look at my profile?
Mandy: no, sorry. I will now.
Josh: cool
Mandy: You're in Urbana?
Josh: yep
Mandy: cool. I used to live there a few years ago
Josh: I know
Mandy: ummmhow do u know, lol?
Josh: says you went to school there on your profile, silly, lol.
Mandy: lol. Blonde moment. Sorry.
Josh: yeah, but you're not blonde:-)
Mandy: I am actually;-)
Josh: in your picture you are, but you're originally a brunette, right?
Mandy: how do you know that?
Josh is offline
May 10th, 2010
Mandy: Hi!
Josh: Hey
Mandy: Quick question
Josh: sure
Mandy: when I talked to you before, you said I wasn't a real blonde
Josh: yes. Sorry about that. Didn't mean to upset you
Mandy: Nah, it's cool. Just wondering how you knew that?
Josh: so it's true?
Mandy: Yeah, but I've been a blonde for a long time
Josh: why?
Mandy:???
Mandy: Why what?
Josh: why are you blonde?
Mandy: UhI dunno. I just prefer it. I like how it looks, I guess.
Josh: makes sense
Mandy: So, how did you know? Is it obvious or something, lol!
Josh: Nah, you just look like you used to be a brunette
Mandy: Oh. In a bad way?
Josh: No
Mandy: Ok, phew, lol. So whatchoo doing?
Josh: Not much. Bad day
Mandy: what happened?
Josh is offline
May 11th, 2010
Josh: Hi Mandy
Mandy: Hey
Josh: Sorry about yesterday
Mandy: S'ok.
Josh: I've been going through some stuff. Makes me cranky, lol.
Mandy: no probs. Happens to me all the time. Everything ok?
Josh: I like your new profile pic
Mandy: awesome, thanks so much! Do you like it better than the Celine Dion one, lol!
Josh: Yes. Looks like you didn't crop it enough though on the right side.
Mandy: I was kind of in a hurry. Does it look bad?
Josh: No, but you can see your boyfriend's arm in it.
Mandy: Yeah, I like how I look in that picture so I wanted to put it up.
Mandy: If I cropped it anymore tho, I'd have had to cut myself in half, lol.
Josh: So who's the guy?
Mandy: An ex. A jerk.
Josh: why'd u break up?
Mandy: He cheated on me.
Josh: Ouch
Mandy: Yeah.
Josh: He'll get what's coming to him tho. Everybody does
Mandy: I guess. So what kind of music do you like?
Josh: It's on my profile
Mandy: K, will check it out
Josh: K
Mandy is offline
May 13th, 2010
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