Kealan Burke - Currency of Souls

Eddies Tavern.

This is where I come to try to forget my pain. Theres so much of it here that isnt mine, it should make me feel better, but it doesnt.

And yet here I am, same as always. Saturday night at Eddies.

Theres no neon sign out front, nothing to advertise this as a place to come drown your sorrows, and that makes sense because sorrows arent drowned here, not all the way, only pushed under and held for a while.

The moon is a nicotine-stained fingernail as I step out of my truck, ponder the feel of my gut straining against my belt, and ease the door shut behind me. Im getting fat, and I suppose as they say, like death and taxes, Im shit out of luck if I expect to be surprised by it. Man eats as much chili as I do without chasing it down with a few laps around the barn, well weight doesnt evict itself.

I start on the path to the tavern door and see pale orbs behind the smoked glass turn in my direction. Nothing slips past these people, quiet or not. The door doesnt creak, though its old enough to have earned that luxury. Instead it sighs. I sigh too, but I dont share the doors regret. For me, Im just glad to be out of the cold and among friends, even if they mightnt look at me the same way. Even if, in the dark of night when sleeps a distant memory, I really dont think of them the same way either.

All the usual folks are here.

The pale willowy woman with the figure that could have been carved from soap, thats Gracie. She inherited this place from her Daddy, and considers it less a gift than another in a long line of curses from a man who dedicated his life to making hers a living hell. Leaving her the bar was his way of ensuring shed stay right where he wanted her, in a rundown hole with no prospects and surrounded by friends not her own. Gracie has no love for anyone, least of all herself. Shes still got her looks, though they fade a little every day, and shed get out of this place in a second if she thought the city would take her. Im sure it probably would. Take her, grind her up, and spit her out to die on some dogshit-encrusted sidewalk a thousand miles from home. Chances are a pretty girl like that with little world experience would end up missing, or turning tricks in the back office of some sleazy strip-joint to keep her in heroin. No, a girl like Gracie is better off right where she is, polishing glasses that stay so milky with grime you almost expect to see smoke drift out of them when she picks them up. She might be miserable, but I figure thats her own doing. Her overbearing fathers influence is just an excuse. Hes dead, after all, and buried out back. Theres nothing to stop her selling this dive, except maybe a burning need to prove herself to his ghost.

At the bar sits a naked man. Thats Cobb. Cobb says hes a nudist, and is waiting for the rest of the colony to come apologize for treating him so poorly. What they did to him is unclear, but hes been waiting almost three years now so most of us expect hes going to die disappointed. Cobb has big ears, a wide mouth and a line of coarse gray hair from the nape of his neck to the crack of his bony ass. He looks like a hungover werewolf caught in mid-transformation, and knows only four jokes. His enthusiasm doesnt diminish no matter how many times he tells them.

Sheriff he says with a wide grin.

Here comes the first of them.

A sailor and a penguin walk into a bar

Youll have to take the back door, I respond, feeding him his own punch line.

Shit I told you that one?

Once or twice.

Two stools down, sits Wintry McCabe, a six foot six giant of a man who could probably blow the whole place clear into the next state if he sneezed. Hes mute though, so youre shit out of luck if youre waiting for a warning. Gracie asked him once how hed lost his voice and thats how we all found out that even if he could talk, chances are he wouldnt say very much. Near the top of the Milestone Messenger (our weekly rag), in the tight white space beneath the headline, he wrote, in blue ink and childish handwriting: WENT UP THE RIVER. COST ME MY WORDS. Then he smiled, finished his drink and left. After hed gone, we speculated what the Messengers new and intriguing sub-header might mean. Cobb reckons Wintry lost his tongue in a fishing or boating incident. Florence thinks he did something that affected him spiritually, something that forced him to take a vow of silence as repentance. Cadaver believes Wintrys done hard time, was sent up the river and someone in there relieved him of his tongue. I favor this theory. He looks like a man with secrets, none of them good. But Wintry has never volunteered any clarification on the subject; he hasnt written a message since, and he seldom opens his mouth long enough or wide enough for us to see if that tongues still attached. If he cant communicate what he wants with gestures, he goes without. Thats the kind of guy he is. But while it remains a mystery why hes mute, we at least know why hes called Wintry. He got the name on account of how he lives in an old tarpaper shack on the peak of Grable Mountain, the only mountain within 100 miles that has snow on the top of it no matter what the season. As a result, even when theres suffocating heat down here in the valley, Wintrys always dressed in thick boots, gloves, and a fur-lined parka, out of which his large black hairless head pokes like a turtle testing the air. Tonight, hes testing a Scotch, neat. And while may not be able to talk, he sure likes to listen.

Hes listening to Florence Bright now. Shes sitting sideways on her stool, her pretty ankle-length dress covering up a pair of legs every guy in town dreams about. Shes wearing a halter-top to match, the flimsy cotton material hiding another pair of attributes every guy in town dreams about. Flo is the prettiest gal I know. Reminds me a little of Veronica Lake in her heyday, right down to the wavy blonde hair and dark, perfectly plucked eyebrows. Florence has the dubious honor in this town of being both a woman in high demand, and a woman feared, but guys get drunk enough they forget theyre afraid of her. Everyone thinks she murdered her husband, see, and while I dont know for sure whether she did or not, its enough to keep me from sidling up to her in my sad little lovelorn boots. Wasnt much of a justice system here at the time, and I did what I could investigation-wise but wasnt a badge inside the city limits or out that could pin the blame on Flo. Nothing added up, and I have to wonder how many malehell, maybe even femalecops were just fine with that. Wonder how many she sweet-talked into forgetting themselves. After all, we had a woman obviously abused by her husband, then said abuser turns up not only dead but so dead even the coroner coughed up the last bit of grub hed poked into his mouth when he saw the body. Something wasnt right. That, or someone didnt do something they shouldve. More than once Ive put myself under that particularly hot spotlight but quit before I get too close to things Id rather not see.

So thats Flo, and looking at her there, the last thing youd ever call her is a murderer. Of course that might just mean shes cold-hearted. But whether or not she knifed Henry Bright to death, doused his body in kerosene and lit the match, I have to admit I get a stab of envy every time she laughs and touches Wintrys elbow. Long time since I made a woman laugh. Long time since I did anything to a woman but make her weep.

I take a seat at one of three round tables spread out between the bar and the door. The abundance of space and lack of furniture make the place seem desolate and empty no matter how many customers it has, though the seven people here now, myself included, is about as busy as it gets. Except on Saturday nights, of course, when we expect one more. The poor lighting, courtesy of two plain bulbs hooded by cracked green shades, does nothing but spotlight dust and crowd everybodys table with shadows.