Joe Schreiber - Perry's killer playlist

Dont kill me.

Nine hundred feet up in the November wind, its hard to enunciate properly, especially with the barrel of a Glock nine-millimeter jammed in your mouth. They dont tell you these things on the Travel Channel.

Gobi takes the automatic out from between my lips. Her eyes sparkle and shine. I think about what she told me back in Venice, what she said at the hotel that night. That all seems like a long time ago now.

She smiles, blood and lipstick smeared over her face. Down below, blue lights on the Champ de Mars flash off the steel framework of the Eiffel Tower, warping in the rain. Over her shoulder I can see the gendarmes on the other side of the observation platform with automatic weapons, yelling at us in the language of love. I remember just enough from two years in Mrs. Garveys French class to decipher police and surrender.

As tave myliu, Gobi says. With her free hand, she reaches out and brushes the wet hair out of my eyes. Her fingers are ice cold. Your hair is getting shaggy, mielasis. Then she points the pistol back at my head.

Just tell me what youve done with my family. Im begging now, and I dont care how it sounds. Just tell me where they are.

I am so sorry, Perry. An almost inaudible click as she switches off the safety. Au revoir.

Miss me? she asked.

I leaned forward to kiss the ice cream from her upper lip-maple fudge ripple, arguably the best flavor in the known universe. We were standing barefoot next to the picnic tables by the Twin Star on Route 26, watching the gray waves of October rolling up and crashing on the shore.

Me and Paula.

It was fall, the best time of the year for this battered stretch of shoreline that Connecticut shares with the sea. All around us, the rest of the beach was deserted, a long, unhurried curve of sand, eel grass and wooden fence slats bullied and pushed over sideways by decades of rough Atlantic weather. During the summer this place was mobbed with families and kids, teenagers, bikers, couples-my parents had even come up here on a date once, according to family lore. Now it all felt pleasantly haunted, the parking lot almost empty, the restrooms already locked up for the season, leaving the two of us and the guy behind the ice cream counter just itching to put up his handwritten SEE YOU NEXT SUMMER! sign in the window.

High above us, seagulls squeaked and wheeled in the gunmetal sky, sounding lost and far away.

Paula hugged herself and shivered. Its chilly.

Here. I took off my Columbia sweatshirt and wrapped it around her shoulders. Better?

Always the gentleman. She smiled and looked down at the beach, her cell phone still clutched in her hand from the call that shed just finished. So, do you want to hear the big news?

I thought youd never tell me.

I thought youd never ask.

Officially asking.

I just got off the phone with Armitage and he wants to book Inchworm-she paused, making me wait an extra split-second-. . for the whole tour.

Europe?

Twelve cities in eighteen days.

No way. I laughed, and she grabbed me, and I hugged her, lifting her up off her feet and spinning her around. Paula, thats unbelievable.

I know! Her smile had blossomed into a full-out grin, and I looked at all eleven of the sun freckles across the bridge of her nose. Id counted them when we were waiting in line for one of the rides at Six Flags last month.

How did that happen?

I told you the new songs were great, Perry. Armitage heard your demo and flipped. Now she was clutching my hands, bouncing up and down on her tiptoes with excitement. Her toenails were painted a very dark shade of plum, almost black, and they looked great against the sand, ten little black keys, like the kind you use to play ragtime. Hes booking you guys on a twelve-city tour, starting in London on the twenty-ninth, then Venice, Paris, Madrid Paula got out her phone, clicking up the screen. Ive got all the dates here.

This is amazing, I said. I cant wait to see Europe with you.

She sighed softly, and her shoulders sagged a little. I wish.

Wait-youre not coming?

Armitage needs me here in New York. And Ive got to be back in the studio at the beginning of December. Mobys recording a new album in L.A., and She saw my expression. Hey, maybe I can sneak out to Paris for a weekend.

Id like that.

Perry, this is a huge step for you guys. If this works out

I smiled. I couldnt have done it without you.

Oh, shut up.

Im serious, I said. You made this happen.

Well, thats sweet of you to say. Her blue eyes sparkled, appearing and disappearing as her hair blew in front of her face. Shed spent most of the summer in L.A. and somehow held on to her tan into the fall, so that her blond hair looked even blonder by comparison. But we all know who really deserves the credit.

Stop it.

You wrote all of those new songs, Perry.

Norrie and I wrote them together.

Then you and Norrie are the next Lennon and McCartney, she said. And now the entire European Union is going to find that out for themselves.

This is amazing.

I know. She frowned a little, seeing the hint of apprehension in my eyes. What?

Nothing-its just great news.

Stormaire

I smiled. I just wish you could go with me, thats all.

Youre adorable. She kissed me again, and the kiss lingered this time, her mouth warm and soft against mine, her hair tickling my ears.

I know.

She stood there looking at me. Wed been dating for less than three months, but Id told her everything, and she could read me like a book.

Europes a big continent, Perry.

I know.

You dont even know if shes there.

Right.

Its not like youre going to run into her.

I never said-

You didnt have to.

I wasnt even thinking it.

Theres a reason why Im not sending you guys to Lithuania, Paula said, and squeezed my hand. Come on. Im cold. Lets walk.

Paula and I had met back in the beginning of August, at a party in Park Slope, not long after Id seen Gobi for the last time on the steps at Columbia. It turned out that I didnt really know a lot of people at the party, one of those friend-of-a-friend-who-wasnt-really-a-friend type of things. Someone kept playing old Elton John tracks on the iPod docking station, and I was in the process of saying my goodbyes when a voice Id never heard before said, Hey.

That was how shed started out, as a voice over my shoulder, sounding raspy and unfamiliar and amused. Youre that guy, the voice said.

I turned around to look at her, my brain immediately struggling to crunch the numbers. Laid out on the chalkboard, it wouldve gone something like this:

(blond hair) + (blue eyes)? (killer body) = dont even try

Yet here was this woman, a little older than I was and a whole lot hotter, not only looking at me but actually seeming interested.

Im sorry?

I saw your picture in the Post, she said. Youre Perry Stormaire, right?

Yeah.

Youre the guy whose house got blown up.

Uh-huh.

That was insane.

Yes, I said, because I never know what to say in these situations. She was referring to what happened on the night of my senior prom, three months before, when the Lithuanian foreign exchange that had been living in our house-a girl named Gobija Zaksauskas-turned out to be an assassin with a hit list of names. With Gobis gun to my head, wed spent the night careening around New York City in my fathers Jaguar while she killed her targets one by one, ending with my house getting blown up. Describing the night as insane could arguably be considered an insult to the mentally ill.