Nico Medina - Go Ahead, Ask Me.

go ahead,ASK ME.ALSO BY NICO MEDINAThe Straight Road to Kylie
Fat Hoochie Prom Queen

By Nico Medina + Billy Merrell SIMON PULSE An imprint of Simon & Schuster Childrens Publishing Division
1230 Avenue of the Americas, New York, NY 10020
www.SimonandSchuster.com
First Simon Pulse paperback edition October 2009
Copyright 2009 by Nicolas Medina
All rights reserved, including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form.
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Designed by Cara E. Petrus The text of this book was set in Blockhead. Manufactured in the United States of America 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 Library of Congress Control Number 2008944013 ISBN 978-1-4169-8692-8 ISBN 978-1-4169-9691-0 (eBook) For Dan Poblocki, who might have seen a ghost.
Seriously.
And for Christina LaPrease, backwoods back in style.
Choctaw! Thanks to Jen Klonsky and the Pulse team,
especially Emilia Rhodes.
N + B Go ahead, ask us how this book works. Well tell you.... Its simple, really.

Get a group of friends, pour yourselves some drinks, pop some popcorn, nuke some nachos, roast a pigwhatever floats your boatthen gather round and get comfortable. Now, open the book... and prepare to get uncomfortable! Seriously, though, some of these questions will make you cringe. But some will make you laugh, while others might make you stop and think. These questions are designed for Maximum Fun Potentiala sort of party game, if you willbut if it aint fun for you to divulge everything about yourself, you dont have to answer anything youre not comfortable with. IF YOU SKIP ON ANSWERING A QUESTION, YOU MAY:A. Give someone in the room a compliment. B. Make a critical comment about yourself. C. Do an animal impression of your friends choosing. D. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ (You and your friends pick.) Now, go forth and be revealing! Honest! Lighthearted! Awkward!... D. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ (You and your friends pick.) Now, go forth and be revealing! Honest! Lighthearted! Awkward!...

And dont forget: the fun is in all those dirty little details. We hope you have as good a time reading and answering these questions as we had writing them. Nico and Billy Brooklyn, NY January 2009

By Nico Medina + Billy Merrell Youre at your sex-god/rock-idols concert with all your besties, and when the lights come on after the last encore, a roadie approaches you. Youre invited backstage, but theres a catch: your... FRUMPIER friends aint invited. Do you ditch your friends and hang with the band? HOT OR NOT: TACO BELL.

If you could be made into an expert in one thing, what would that one thing be? How do you want to spend your twilight years? AGREE OR DISAGREE: CATS CAN READ YOUR THOUGHTS, AND THEY DONT GIVE A SHIT. Your best girlfriend is growing a seriously Frida Kahloesque stache. What do you do? What if, in the summer, the bikini line becomes the problem... ? Whats the NASTIEST thing a friend could leave in your bathroom to push you over the edge to say something to them, even though itd be vomitinducingly awkward? Oh. And whats the grossest thing someone could drop off that would make you never want to hang out with them ever again? EVER again. WHO WOULD YOU RATHER HAVE PUNCH YOU IN THE FACEA PRIEST, A NUN, OR A RABBI? Who would you rather have as a college dorm-mate: an all-night-long gamer, an aspiring saxophonist, or an OCD clean-freak? Who would you rather face in a fightaliens or zombies? Favorite body part? AGREE OR DISAGREE: I LIKE TO HURT PEOPLE.

Whats the worst part about getting old? Is there a difference between tacky and tasteless? Lab-partner arrangements are in... and youre placed with your arch-nemesis, your bitterest enemy. The one person in school who you wouldnt mind seeing flattened by a bus. What do you do? Are you thinking SABOTAGE... or ABANDON SHIP?! WHICH IS WORSE FOR THE ENVIRONMENT: NOT EVER RECYCLING OR RAISING FIVE KIDS TO ADULTHOOD? If you opened a themed restaurant, what would the theme be? What would the specialty of the house be? Hot or not: iPhones. Vampires or werewolveswhich are scarier? How, and at what age, would you explain to your kid about their gay aunt or uncle? TRUE OR FALSE: I PEE IN THE SHOWER.

What was the best concert youve ever been to? If you havent been to one, who do you want to see the most, and why? Truth or Dare, or a nice game of cards? WOULD YOU DATE SOMEONE WHO WAS MISSING TWO FINGERS? Which is most essential, a bigger-screen TV or a better sound system? Do you have an e-mail account no one but you knows about? Favorite war? FUN OR DANGEROUS: SWIMMING WITH DOLPHINS. What is your absolute BIGGEST pet peeve? Whats the most hurtful thing anyone has ever done to you? Whats the most hurtful thing youve done to someone else? AGREE OR DISAGREE: RACISM IS STILL RAMPANT IN AMERICA. Girls who have a lot of sex are typically labeled as whores, sluts, ho-bags, what-have-yous... and guys wholl stick it in anything that moves are thought of as players. Do you agree with this statement? Do you think its fair? Freckles: love em or hate em? HOW AND WHEN DID YOU GET YOUR BIRDS-AND-THE-BEES TALK? DEATH MATCH: HARRY POTTER VERSUS EDWARD CULLENWHO WINS? Would you rather be locked in solitary confinement for a year or trapped alone on a desert island for a year? How do you explain the process of photosynthesis to your beyond-doable lab partner in the sexiest way you know how? If you couldnt give two craps about photo-whats-her-face, just make something up. AGREE OR DISAGREE: I AM LUCKY.

Have you ever gone commando? (The beach doesnt count.) HAVE YOU EVER HAD TO FRIENDSHIP-DUMP SOMEONE? EVER WANTED TO? Would you (or do you) fondle a crowd-surfer at a concert as they passed overhead? You get to publicly shame someonewho is it, and how do you do it? Which teacher gets the least respect at your school? Does he or she deserve it? GOOGLE IMAGE SEARCH DENTAL DAM. ANY THOUGHTS? Fun or dangerous: Spin the Bottle. Would you rather travel by plane, train, or automobile? DESCRIBE YOUR DREAM HOME. Agree or disagree: J-Lo should just give it up. Whats your opinion on the people who set up camp outside Wal-Marts the day after Thanksgiving? Do you search through peoples medicine cabinets? Purses or wallets? Underwear drawers? Bedside tables? WHATS THE WORST WAY TO DIE? Death match: A wasted Amy Winehouse versus a sharp corner? Place your bets. Have you ever masturbated in your sleep? WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED, AND WHY (IF ITS NOT TOO PERSONAL)? Agree or disagree: To get ahead in life, you have to be a little bit mean.

Your most annoying friend can get you a job... but you have to work with him or her CONSTANTLY what do you do? TYRA OR OPRAH? Youre in line for a concert or to get into a club, and this homeless guy carrying a lobster wont go away, and is TOTALLY harassing you and your friends for money. How do you deal with the situation? At a sleepover, one of your friends parents offers to get you stoned. To toke or not to toke? Does it make a difference if its your friends mom or dad? Or if its weed or whiskey? What about Xanax or Valium? WHAT ANNUAL EVENT STRESSES YOU OUT THE MOST? What do you consider to be the most erotic musical instrument? Hot or not: Martha Stewart in her prison jumpsuit. Whats the scariest restaurant in your hometown after midnight? If you could choose your parents, who would they be? AGREE OR DISAGREE: PEOPLE CAN CHANGE. Describe your ideal life in the Witness Protection Program.

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