B. J. Gallagher - Friends Are Everything: The Life-Changing Power of Female Friendship

Friends Are Everything

The Life-Changing Power of Female Friendship

BJ Gallagher

Copyright 2005, 2022, by BJ Gallagher.
Published by Conari Press, a division of Mango Publishing Group, Inc.

Cover Design: Elina Diaz
Cover and Interior Art: AdobeStock / Mary Long
Layout Design: Carmen Fortunato

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Friends Are Everything: The Life-Changing Power of Female Friendship

LCCN: 2021951256
ISBN: (p) 978-1-64250-425-5 (e) 978-1-64250-426-2
BISAC category code REF019000, REFERENCE / Quotations

Printed in the United States of America

For Anita Goldstein, Susan Goldstein, Jeanne Segal, and all the other fabulous, brilliant, talented, creative, generous, loving women in the Brain Exchange.

My life is richer becau se of you!

Contents

True Friends:

Understand that the little things can make a
BIG difference

Comfort and support us through struggles
and disappointments

Forgive us when we hurt them just as we
forgive them

Know the power of community.Together
we can do almost anything!

The universe is made up of stories, not of atoms.

Muriel Rukeyser , poet

T his is a simple, heartfelt book about one of the most important aspects of my lifefriendships. Here I have collected stories and poems from my friends, from their friends, and I have added a few stories of my ownall in an attempt to distill wisdom about what it means to be a true friend. Others stories are signed with their names; my own stories are unsigned.

Friends are everything and everywhere. We are related to our friends by heartand sometimes by blood as well. Friends can be neighbors, coworkers, classmates from grade-school days to college daze, bosses, sisters, mothers, sons, brothers, fathers, kith and kin. Friends share our good times and our bad, joining us in laughter as well as tears.

The subject is both broad and deep, and one small book cannot possibly hold all there is to know about friendship. But perhaps, if I have done my job well, I have captured some pearls of wisdom, a few golden nuggets of insight, a handful of friendship gems to treasure.

This book of stories is my gift to my friends, past, present, and future. As Pearl S. Buck famously said, Strangers are simply friends I havent met yet. What do you mean to me, dear friends? Let me see if I can begin to tell you

T rust

R espect

U nderstanding

E mpathy

F orgiveness

R esponsiveness

I nsight

E xpressions of love

N eeding one another

D ependability

S piritual connection

Chapter 1

True Friends

Sometimes when we are generous in small, barely detectable ways, it can change someone elses life forever.

Margaret Cho , comedian

How Do You Love Me?
Let Me Count the Ways.

When I think about all the ways in which my friends show their love for me, it is many of the little things that com e to mind:

Ruby and Paddy, who live next door and feed and watch over my five cats whenever I go out of town so I can travel with peace of mind, knowing that my beloved, furry, four-footed family is safe and secur e at home.

My friend Diana, who often leaves a flower or a sprig of berries on my gate at night, just to let me know shes in the neighborhood walking her dogs and think ing of me.

My artist friend Antonette, who made some fabulous papier-mch eggs one Easter and left them in a basket on my doorstep before dawn just to wish me a happy Easter in a very sp ecial way.

My writing partner Steve, who, when I send him an email joke, always has to have the last wordso he tops the joke with a punch line that is better than the original leaving me laughing out loud in the solitude of my office.

My mother Gloria, who occasionally slips a $20 bill into her letters to memad money, she calls it. Mom has always been one of my bes t friends.

My friend Joan, whose quips and quotes, those pearls of wisdom, have guided and inspired me over the past twenty years. I could write a whole book on the many things I have learned from Joan!

My friend Anita, who welcomes me into her Berkeley home whenever I am in northern California and need a place to stay and if shes out of town, she just leaves me a key so I can stay the re anyway!

Two of my sons former girlfriends, Nancy and Yvonne, who still send me cards on Mothers Day (even though Michael long ago married someone else). I still think of those two girls as the daughters I never had.

What do these friends all have in common? They understand that its the little things, the simple things, the thoughtful surprises that express love and friendship best. These little things make a BIG difference i n my life!

Plant a seed of friendship; reap a bouquet of happiness.

Lois L. Kaufman , author , humorist

True happiness is of a retired nature, and an enemy to pomp and noise; it arises, in the first place, from the enjoyment of ones self, and in the next from the friendship and conversation of a few select c ompanions.

Joseph Addison , essayist, poet, politician

Sister

Where are you now, babita , companion,

amiga , my friend?

Didnt we sit the winte r through,

snowflakes melting on ou r tongues,

waiting for summers lilies to hold o ur dreams?

Ho w we loved

the bullfrogs and the toads. Ah, dear one,

I hope yo u remember

I touched your shoulder with my heart.

Janell Moon

HELPING HAND: Whats in a Word?

H earing whats needed

E ager to contribute

L istening with compassion

P aying attention to the little things

I ntuitively understanding whats helpful and whats not

N ever overstepping your bounds

G oing out of your way for a true friend

H ealing love, healing touch

A sking What can I do to help?

N ever assuming that you know whats best

D esiring to serve and contribute to others well-being

You have not lived a perfect day unless you have done something for someone who will never be able to repay you.

Ruth Smeltz er , author

Statistics of Hope

Every seven minutes, somewhere in the world, someone is fallin g in love.

Every six minutes, two women pour tea and sit down for a good talk.

Every five minutes, someone, somewhere is doing a good deed.

Every four minutes, someone stops and says, Thanks, I nee ded that.

Every three minutes, someone hugs someone els e in need.

Every two minutes, someone comforts a cry ing child.

Every minute of the day and night, somewhere in the world, someone is at praye r, saying,