Francie Taylor - Sister Friends

by

Francie Taylor

P. O. Box 1099 Murfreesboro, Tennessee37133

(800) 251-4100 (615) 893-6700 FAX (615)848-6943

www.SwordoftheLord.com

Copyright 2011 by

Sword of the Lord Publishers

Distributed by Smashwords

All rights reserved. No part of thispublication may be used or reproduced, stored in or introduced intoa retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means(printed, written, photocopied, electronic, audio or otherwise)without prior written permission of the publisher.

All Scripture quotations are from the KingJames Bible.

A CKNOWLEDGEMENTS

This book is dedicated to a wonderful host ofpeople who have helped in so many ways.

To Dr. Jack and Mrs. Cindie Trieber: Thank youfor allowing me to spend an entire week of writing from a campusapartment at Golden State Baptist College.

To Dr. Mike and Mrs. Angie Zachary: Thank youfor the loan of study tools while I was working on this book, andthank you for your feedback.

To Mrs. Jennifer Palmer: Thank you for yourexcellent proofreading skills. Your feedback was also a carvingtool throughout this project.

To my dear Mom, Mrs. Shirley Raynes: Thank youfor agreeing to be one more "pair of eyes" by reading over themanuscript in the final stages.

To my Norman H. Taylor: Thank you for beingwilling to eat Parmesan Chicken again and again as my kitchencreativity took a back seat to writing.

To my Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ: Thank Youfor saving my soul.

C ONTENTS

Friendship is so often a misunderstood subjecttoday. At some point along the way, the biblical concept of 'ironsharpening iron' (Prov. 27:17) has gotten lost in the fray ofselfish motives, personal agendas and trophy companionships. Theintent of friendship as a gift and a ministry has become more of a"what's in it for me" proposition.

God has a purpose for our friendships, and Heoften uses them as a gardener uses tools. Some friends are spades,helping to cultivate the soil of our lives so that we develop into"good ground" rather than rocky and barren. Others are like hoes,helping us to weed out problem areas. Still others are likewatering cans, blessing us simply by encouraging and refreshing oursouls.

In the 1828 Webster's Dictionary, you'llfind this statement regarding friendship: "True friendship is anoble and virtuous attachment, springing from a pure source, arespect for worth or amiable qualities."

This dictionary notes that "false friendships"also exist, describing this type of relationship as a "temporaryattachment springing from interest, and may change in a moment toenmity and rancor." If you've ever had the unfortunate experienceof a friend suddenly becoming your foe, you know what it's like tohave a false friendship.

A virtuous sister who is a faithful friend is asister-friend.

Within every friendship, there is a bond of sometype which varies from person to person. We may have manyacquaintances in life, but as the saying goes, "True friendships,like diamonds, are precious and rare."

Biblical friendships are in short supply thesedays. We need more women who are willing to work at becoming allthat God wants them to be, which will enable them to encourageothers to become more productive for God as well. Living, breathingpatterns of God's design. Sister-friends.

"Iron sharpeneth iron; so a mansharpeneth the countenance of his friend."Proverbs 27:17.

How would you counsel a friend who discoveredher husband had been unfaithful? Are you the type of friend whowould grieve with her and commit the situation to prayer and evenfasting, or would you immediately push for a divorce without anyfurther consideration of the circumstances?

What would you do if you found out your "bestfriend" had exposed a confidential matter by sharing it withanother lady? Would you write that friend off as disloyal and shunher forever, or would you consider forgiving her for being tootalkative?

These situations require the insight of someonewho is spiritually sharp. When we lack wisdom and discretion,situations are viewed through the eyes of the world rather thanthrough the lens of good judgment of Scripture. A woman whounderstands her vital place in God's plan will diligently work tocultivate a walk with God that radiates His presence and power inher life.

Iron sharpens iron. Proverbs 27:17 clearlyindicates that God intended friendship to be used as a tool ofimprovement in our lives. A spiritually sharp friend is a positiveinfluence, working in the Lord to help her friends become moremature in Christ, as they also do for her. A spiritually dullfriend reduces the shine of Christ in the lives of others as sheinfluences them with shallow values.

We get our finest "sharpening" from the Bible asthe Lord 'transforms us by the renewing of our minds' (Romans12:2). Undeniably, we cannot be the best type of friend if we arenot spending time in the Word of God. Just as a lack of a firmfoundation makes a building unstable, we are not as beneficial asfriends when we lack the foundational depth provided by the wisdom,knowledge and understanding of Scripture.

Nobody sets out to be a poor friend. Sometimeswe just don't understand God's purpose in giving us the gift offriendship. This leads us to take friends for granted. How can webecome as "iron" that aids in sharpening others?

1. Be a daily student of the Word of God.People who read and study God's Word develop the right mind-set andworld-view. A spiritually sharp friend bases her decisions on God'spoint of view, rather than living according to the way the popularwinds are blowing. The less time you spend in God's Word, the lessstrength you'll have as a Christian. A person who is living aspiritually starved life has little to offer, but she can do anincredible amount of harm due to lack of knowledge.

2. Apply yourself to developing a prayerlife. Prayerlessness is directly related to poor insight andeyesight. How could we let a day go by without asking the Lord forHis divine direction? Our prayer life is the place where we deepenour friendship with God. In addition to praying for others, asimple prayer to add to your list is this: "Open thou mine eyes,that I may behold wondrous things out of thy law" (Ps. 119:18).

3. Keep your opinions to a minimum, butmaximize the principles of Scripture. Even though our opinionsare important to us, without a chapter and verse to support them,they are not strong enough to stand alone. For instance, you may beof the opinion that adultery is an unpardonable sin; however, youropinion would not be able to be backed up with Scripture, becausethe Bible says adultery is a pardonable sin. When discussingimportant matters, stick to the Bible, and you'll provide directionrather than confusion.

4. Don't be a spectator when a friend isheaded for a cliff! Speak up in a firm, loving manner when yousee danger in the life of a friend. There are times when a personstrays innocently off course. When the error is accidental, you arehelping to avert a potential calamity, and your warning will likelybe accepted with gratitude. On the other hand, people are notusually as receptive to your admonition if they are determined toventure into a hazardous zone. Warn them just the same, if for noother reason than to keep your conscience clean and your friendshippure before the Lord.

5. Be an honest friend, but remember number3. Your friend may not always ask for counsel. When a friendseeks you out for counsel, know that solicited counsel is oftenheeded. When asked a question, be certain you fully comprehend whatis being asked so as not to cause a misunderstanding with yourresponse. "He that answereth a matter before he heareth it, it isfolly and shame unto him" (Prov. 18:13). Once the question isunderstood, give a straightforward biblical answer. Be prepared foryour friend to become defensive when you counsel. Gently remindyour friend with these three words: