Bridget Knight - Can I Tell You About Friendship?: A Helpful Introduction for Everyone

Can I Tell You About

Friendship?

A Helpful Introduction
for Everyone

Bridget Knight

Illustrated by Vikas Upadhyay

Jessica Kingsley Publishers
London and Philadelphia

Contents

What is
friendship?

Hi! My name is Rhidian. I am nine years old. Youd recognise me by my curly black hair my mum calls it a tangle but I cant help that because it does its own thing. Oh, and I wear glasses. My friends call me Rhidi.

Y oud also know me because I only wear black t-shirts, with animal motifs. I live with my mum and my big brother, Dom. Hes way older than me hes nearly 15 now and he used to be into Lego, and skateboarding, just like me, but not now that hes practically an adult (as he keeps reminding me). Dom just seems to sail through life but I cant do that. He says I over-think things. Ive never understood that: how can you over think? Thinking was the only way I could work through some problems I seemed to have with, well, fitting in and stuff.

You can see my home life can feel just a bit solitary. Dom is off doing his own thing; Mum is usually busy and a bit stressed too. It leaves a lot of time. I like my own company but Ive found I need friends, especially now that Im getting older too. I do have friends now. I think theyre the best thing! But it has taken me a while to figure out how friendship works.

Those friends thou hast, and their adoption tried,

Grapple them to thy soul with hoops of steel

I love this quote! Its from Shakespeare and I think hes saying if you find a really good friend, make sure you realise how great they are and hang on to them!

At school, we talk a lot about different values and how they affect our lives. To me, friendship seems one of the most important values because all the others come into it.

Without love, trust, honesty, peace, compassion, forgiveness, respect, unity, courage (and actually any of the values you could mention), friendship just doesnt happen, because it couldnt function without them.

Its important to you and to me, and to every single person in the whole world every single day.

Thats why Ive written this book, and I hope it will help you not just understand about friendship but also think about how good friendship is so vital in your life. Shakespeare didnt write this, but I think he should have done:

Friendships are the jewels of your life, bringing a sparkle to your days and even lasting forever.

Ive wondered and sometimes worried about friendships ever since I can remember. I often just didnt seem to fit in. Other people seemed to have friends and kind of have people to sit next to at lunch and just go around with but I didnt. Other people looked so easy together. But the lonelier I felt, the less people seemed to notice me. One day, I even wondered, Am I actually invisible? Would anyone actually know if I wasnt there? Im glad they took the register at school because otherwise Im sure Id have been completely without trace. Sometimes I would worry about it all so much I couldnt sleepsometimes I didnt want to go to school because I just thought, Whats the point? No-one likes me! I felt sick and tired and so, so glum.

Now I look back, I wonder why I didnt talk to anyone about it, but I think I know the answer. It felt so big and yet I felt so silly I just couldnt tell anyone how I felt. I believed I was the problem. I was the reason things didnt work out and people wouldnt want to hang around with me.

Anyway, now I have friends I think I can see more clearly what was going on. Id like to tell you about it.

Everyone wants good friendships. Lots of people worry about friendships and lots of people think that other people are better at being friends than they are! There are lots of different types of friendships and lots of ways of being friends there isnt one right way.

I used to think friendship meant I should just have boys as friends who were like me, and liked the same things I liked. I didnt realise that there are lots of ways of being a friend or having friends.

Heres what made me change my mind: I was in Doms room (I was being very quiet, because otherwise he kicks me out) and he was messing about with YouTube. There was a clip of a cat playing with a dog and it made me think, Theyre not meant to play together but wow, theyre just getting on with it and having a fun time. The clip was only on for about a minute but it was as if a lightbulb had gone on in my head! It made me realise that maybe I needed to chill out and relax, and go with the flow. Id been thinking all the while to myself, Is this a friendship? Is he my friend? Does this mean I have a friend? like a constant thought-stream running through my head, instead of just getting on with things.

Fantastic fact!

There are some astounding examples in nature of animals befriending animals that are not like them. You can find out about a remarkable story of a cat who brought up some baby ducklings!
Watch www.youtube.com/watch?v=570khFoaE4s.

I was thinking about this and how different friendships can be and I decided to do a bit of an experiment. So, the other day, I asked my teacher, Mrs Letts, if I could show this film clip in class as a start to a circle time to see what other people thought friendship meant. There were so many ideas

Ryan said, Its cool. Friends can make you laugh.

Jula said, You asked me what friendship means. It means theres someone there for you and youre there for them too.

Ranjit said, If Ive been with my friends I feel Ive had a good day. Just doing ordinary stuff is more interesting when you do it with someone else.

Sarah said, Because my friend was really into gymnastics, I asked my mum if I could join too and she said yes and now Im really into it too. If I hadnt had my friend, I wouldnt have known all this about gymnastics, so friends can help you discover things about yourself.

Nona said, My best friend is nothing like me at all! I like him because hes so intriguing. He sees the world in a different way, and its usually funny. Like the time I fell over and had a huge bump on my head. I was worried but he said it made me look as if I had two brains! I laughed so much it stopped hurting.

Maya said, Ive got lots of friends. I make friends wherever I go. I made friends with this girl when I was on holiday in a caravan last week. I dont have one particular friend. I cant imagine that. I think thats dull. I like a crowd!

Ben said, You dont have to be with your friends all the time, just some of the time because everyone needs their space.

Theres a lot to consider here. Nowadays, Im friends with girls and boys too. I wish I were like Maya though. That must be amazing. How can she make friends so quickly? I really like the idea of making friends with someone who isnt much like me. I also find Bens point really good: we dont have to be with our friends every single minute of the day. Im glad he said that its quite a relief!

Friendship can be many things, and may mean different things to different people. I like that.