Lo Bosworth - The Lo-Down

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Copyright 2011 by Lauren Bosworth
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Book design by Lucy Ruth Cummins
The text for this book is set in Caslon.
Manufactured in the United States of America
2 4 6 8 10 9 7 5 3 1
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Bosworth, Lo, 1986
The Lo-down / Lo Bosworth.
p. cm.
ISBN 978-1-4424-1200-2 (pbk.)
1. Dating (Social customs)Juvenile literature. 2. Teenage girlsPsychology
Juvenile literature. 3. Interpersonal relationsJuvenile literature. I. Title.
HQ801.B7675 2011
306.73dc22
2010021499
ISBN 978-1-4424-1201-9 (eBook)

The names and some of the identifying details of people
mentioned in this book have been changed.

For Mom and Dad,
loving each other since
March 18, 1978

THERE ARE A NUMBER OF PEOPLE ID LIKE TO RECOGNIZE FOR helping to make my first book a reality. First, my family and friends. You have all provided me with unwavering support. Next, a hug and a kiss for Scott for teaching me about true love. At Ellen Rakieten Productions, a thank-you to Hayley Lozitsky for such a brilliant idea. Max Stubblefield at UTA. A big thanks to Matthew Elblonk, my literary agent at DeFiore and Company. Meghan McPartland and Nicole Perez, PR czarinas at Rogers & Cowan. David Stanley and Carolyn Conrad, my hotshot attorneys at WWLLP. At Simon & Schuster (and just a general thanks here too for believing in me from the get-go): Alexandra Cooper (best editor ever), Lucy Cummins, Julia Maguire, Jenica Nasworthy, Justin Chanda, Anne Zafian, Paul Crichton, and Michelle Kratz. Thank you all so, so much.

I SNAGGED MY FIRST BOYFRIEND IN THE FIFTH GRADE. IT WAS A thrilling relationship, full of shy glances in the elementary school hallway and love notes saying, Check here if you like me, check here if you dont. A few months of hand holding later, sixth grade rolled around. And one day, out of nowhere, I decided that it was over. No real reason (do real reasons exist when youre eleven?), just a gut feeling. So I pulled the trigger, broke my first heart, and set out to find my next perfect match.

And that first relationship, and how it ended, describes all the relationships I would have for the next seven years. I graduated from high school as the ultimate man-eater. I had a hot boyfriend one dayand the next, gone! I liked to flirt, to play games, and to move on when the spark fizzled out. Experiencing zero to very little heartache was the easiest way for me to navigate the boy kingdom of Laguna Beach High School. Any normal person would think I was crazy, or boy crazy at least. And it was totally true.

What was really going on? I wasnt ready for a real relationship, so I created ones that were comfortable for me and ended them when things got too mushy. But I knew that I wasnt ready, and thats what made my flirtatious escapades different from a lot of girls my age.

Because a lot of girls my age did want a serious boyfriend. Their hearts ached for boys, and I saw far, far too many of them crushed by sixteen-year-old losers. It was through their pain that I decided to avoid all those icky, uncomfortable, make-your-bones-shake kinds of experiences. It was also through their pain (and a bit of my own: I did take a few guys more seriously) that my understanding of relationships grew.

It was when I left home for college that real relationships started to happen to meor lets say, I opened my heart to them. Why the change of heart? Well, scientifically, I was becoming a woman, though it sounds a bit dorky to say. But truthfully, I was also very lonely away from home, and the girls at school just werent cutting it in the friendship department. He was pretty much my best friend and my perfect other half. For the time being, at least. After two years, he moved home to Seattle, and that was that. I was totally, completely crushed and freaked-out. I was still very young, but when we were together I liked to imagine what my first name sounded like paired with his last name. I cant believe I just admitted that, but I have a sneaking suspicion that its a pretty common thing to do.

So, from that point on I was hooked on relationships. I stopped looking at my friends from high school like they were bananas. I discovered that relationships are great, that they make you feel warm and fuzzy and fulfilled. At least, if theyre good. And thats where this introduction makes a left turn into Sadville. A lot of relationships are not good ones. They suck! They make you feel like poo! And you dont deserve that.

I learned about really nasty relationships from a particularly foolish ex-boyfriend of mine. He was traditionally handsome and athletic, knew how to put the moves on chicks, and drove a nice car. I fell for him and he fell for me. He said I was different from any girl he had ever dated. So, why didnt it work out? In the long run, he wanted me to change... physically. I felt pressure from him to be hotter and skinnier and to dress skankier the entire time we were together. When we broke up, he actually had the balls to tell me that he was used to dating girls who do double days at the gym and that sometimes he didnt like the way I dressed. Excuse me, jerk. Stop right there. Ive heard enough.

And so, for the next week, I kept telling myself that 120 pounds was thin enough for a girl my size and that Vogue likes my Chlo boots even if he doesnt, thank you very much! You get the picture. And it was from that messy experience that I learned the most valuable relationship lesson I have yet: Its not that I wasnt the right girl for him, he wasnt the right guy for me. I didnt, shouldnt, and will never change who I am for a guy. This isnt some ultra-feminist talking. Its just a basic human truth about being true to yourself. My future hubby will love me for me, and thats how it should be.

Hopefully, you feel the same way. If you dont, Im going to get right to the point: You are approaching relationships the wrong way. You think its okay to change who you are so that another person will like you? Does the version of you that he likes make the real you feel good about yourself? Probably not, now that youre really considering it.

If youre unhappy with yourself because youre fulfilling his needs rather than your own, how will you have a happy relationship? Its impossible! How do you change that? You incorporate