Harry Pope - How Not to Run the Same Hotel. Especially When You Realise That Dealing With People Is Not Your Strong Point…

Title Page

How Not to Run The Same Hotel

By

Harry Pope

Publisher Information

Published in 2011 by

GA&P Limited

www.gappublishing.co.uk

Digital Edition Converted and Distributed by

Andrews UK Limited

www.andrewsuk.com

This book is sold subject to the condition that it shall not, by way of trade or otherwise, be lent, resold, hired out or otherwise circulated without the publishers prior written consent in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published, and without a similar condition being imposed on the subsequent purchaser.

Copyright George Associates and (GA&P)

The right of Harry Pope to be identified as author of this book has been asserted in accordance with section 77 and 78 of the Copyrights Designs and Patents Act 1988.

How Not to Run the Same Hotel

Did you know that all interior designers have the letter Q in their name, or wear designer silk scarves? Or both? No, neither did I, until I part owned and ran a seaside hotel on the south coast of England.

I was unwise enough to go into partnership with a Californian businessman (!) with financial feet of clay, and by the time my wife and I resigned as directors and partners some twenty months later, we were facing financial ruin. But thats to come later. Meanwhile, back at the inferior designer, sorry, I meant to say interior, I received a phone call after a few months partnership from the American called Mike.

Harry, Ive hired an interior designer.

This didnt come as a complete surprise, as previously he had suggested we buy an ornate designer fountain for the front garden costing 10,000, and Mike had taken some persuading that we simply couldnt afford such a luxury. However, he was getting serious in his suggestions, and this showed how much involvement he intended having even though he was thousands of miles away.

Right, I slowly replied. Who is it?

She comes from not far away from you, and is going to redesign the hotel.

This was a sweeping statement that should have sent me into either shouting NOOOOOOO, or and where the hell do you think were going to find the money from? Perhaps, on reflection, I should have said one of these things, but I remembered that I was dealing with a moron who had borrowed over 100,000 on U.S. credit cards without telling me first so he could afford to pay for his purchase part of the hotel, and then a few weeks later in the hotel breaking this news in front of the accountant and banker duh, how about telling me, his partner, first? and his wife unequivocally stating that they required 6,000 each month, never mind the time of year or how well we had performed, the hotel had to send to their U.S. bank to service their debt. Hence my cautious reply.

Er, Mike, wheres the money going to come from?

The extra guests of course. Well be able to charge more money because itll be a superior hotel, and of course more people will want to come and stay.

You can see where I am coming from when I say that this man had not even a tenuous grasp on financial reality.

Okay and where is the money going to come from in the first place for this ladys plans, and her fee?

Harry, dont be so negative, said Moron Mike. (I am changing the name of the interior designer because at this stage I dont want her suing me for all the huge Royalties I will be receiving from the sales of this book). Quintessa sounds really lovely on the phone, and is so keen to start.

Yes, correct, my initial thought was Ill bet she is.

Instead, I continued so where in the hotel is she going to be designing?

Just the ground floor. Initially. The last word filled me with even more dread.

And what is she going to do with the ground floor?

At this stage Harry, Quintessa is going to have a look round, and report back.

Mike, whos she going to report back to?

Donna and me of course.

I asked, quite reasonably I think on reflection, and whos going to pay her bill?

The hotel. Stupid question, as since the very beginning, Mike paid for nothing, just took took took.

Do I get to see her report as well?

Of course Harry. Do I sense some negativity here?

This is the ideal time to take a pause, so I can explain a little more of our history.

I had been quite happily owning and running a small, six bedroom seaside guest house with my lovely wife, in debt to the mortgage company but nothing serious, when along came Mike the moron to suggest that we might like to go into partnership together. We sold said accommodation so we could go into equal partnership (remember this phrase, it becomes more relevant as the story progresses) to purchase a 28 bedroom hotel in the same seaside town. Having already owned a successful business before moving to the seaside, we were pretty clued up as to what to do to build up the business, and even though I was pretty useless when it came to being a handyman, my strength was in running and marketing a business, either from scratch or building on previous figures. The previous business had been an executive car hire one, which I had started in January 1990 with one limousine, and sold thirteen years later with five vehicles and an annual turnover of 200,000 and a lot of sightseeing with overseas clients, hence meeting Mike initially.

The guest house was purchased with no turnover, and we immediately spent 60,000 renovating, and when we sold three years later to re-invest in the 28 bedroom hotel, it was turning over 55,000 with six bedrooms, so we knew what we were doing. Shame that we showed such poor judgment in our choice of business partner, but hey, thats all part of growing up.

This particular phone conversation was occurring some six months into the hotel ownership partnership, and although Mike was trying to treat me as an employee, I was the one on the spot running the hotel while he was in the U.S. attempting to run his business there, badly as it transpired.

My reply was a long time coming. No, Mike, Im not being negative, just realistic. I didnt realise that redesigning the hotel was in our business plan so soon. Lets face it, we dont have the money to pay for any improvements as of yet, especially since you think we have to continue sending you 6,000 each month.

Just let the lady come in and have a look around. Theres no commitment on our part, and shell submit a report that we can have a good look at, and then decide.

Okay, but what does she charge to come along and have a look and write her report?

Fifty pounds an hour.

FIFTY QUID A BLEEDING HOUR. Pam and I dont even earn THREE quid an hour each, and were directors.

Yes, Harry, but shes a professional.

All the pros Ive ever known charge a damn sight less than fifty quid an hour, was my acerbic reply.

Bear in mind here that Mike has no religion in his body, but like many Americans I have ever encountered think its great to be a liberal, without getting smutty. I sensed his disapproval of my choice of phrase even though we were thousands of miles apart. Strange, that.

When we ended our conversation, I went into the lounge where my wife was taking a break with our general manager and then good friend who I shall refer to as Moaner. They looked at my face, and Pam said

Okay, whats he suggested this time?

An interior designer.

The next word deafened me, and it was a good job that there were no guests within earshot.

WHAT.

You heard. An interior designer. For the ground floor of the hotel. Initially. If she does a good job, then it could be the whole hotel.

The reason why I was speaking in such short sentences was because I was taking advantage of two forceful opinionated dumb struck women (sorry Pam, youre not really opinionated). I proceeded to recount the conversation, and then they consequently took it to pieces until they were required for their relevant hotel duties, Pam behind reception before dinner, Moaner to go home early yet again.