Boris Akunin - Turkish Gambit

According to Saint Augustine, woman is a frail and fickle creature, and the great obscurantist and misogynist was right a thousand times over - at least with regard to a certain individual by the name of Varvara Suvorova.

It had all started out as such a jolly adventure, but now it had come to this. She only had her own stupid self to blame - Mama had told Varya time and time again that sooner or later she would land herself in a jam, and now she had. In the course of one of their many tempestuous altercations her father, a man of great wisdom endowed with the patience of a saint, had divided his daughter's life into three periods: the imp in a skirt; the perishing nuisance; the loony nihilist. To this very day Varya still prided herself on this characterisation, declaring that she had no intention of resting on her laurels as yet; but this time her self-confidence had played her a really mean trick.

Why, oh why had she agreed to make a halt at the tavern - this korchma, or whatever it was they called the abominable dive? Her driver, that dastardly thief Mitko, had started his whining with those funny Bulgarian endings: 'Let's water the hossesta, let's water the hossesta.' So they had stopped to water the horses. O God, what was she going to do now?

Varya was sitting in the corner of a dingy and utterly filthy shed at a table of rough-hewn planks, feeling frightened to death. Only once before had she ever experienced such grim, hopeless terror, when at the age of six she broke her grandmother's favourite teacup and hid under the divan to await the inevitable retribution.

If she could only pray - but progressive women didn't pray. And meanwhile the situation looked absolutely desperate.

Well then . . . The St Petersburg-Bucharest leg of her route had been traversed rapidly enough, even comfortably: the express train (two passenger coaches and ten flatcars with artillery pieces) had rushed Varya to the capital of the principality of Roumania in three days. The brown eyes of the lady with the bobbed hair, who smoked papyrosas and refused on principle to allow her hand to be kissed, had very nearly set the army officers and staff functionaries bound for the theatre of military operations at each others' throats. At every halt Varya was presented with bouquets of flowers and punnets of strawberries. She threw the bouquets out of the window, because they were vulgar, and soon she was obliged to forswear the strawberries as well, because they brought her out in a red rash. It had turned out to be a rather jolly and pleasant journey, although from an intellectual and ideological perspective, of course, all of her suitors were absolute maggots. There was, to be sure, one cornet who was reading Lamartine and had even heard of Schopenhauer, and he had been more subtle in paying court than the others; but Varya had explained to him - as one comrade to another - that she was travelling to join her fiance, after which the cornet's behaviour had been quite irreproachable. He had not been at all bad-looking, either, rather like Lermontov. Oh, bother the cornet, anyway.

The second stage of her journey had also gone off without as much as a single hitch. There was a stagecoach which ran from Bucharest to Turnu-Megurele. She had been obliged to swallow a little dust as she bounced and jolted along, but it had brought her within arm's reach of her goal; for rumour had it that the general headquarters of the Army of the Danube were located on the far side of the river, in Tsarevitsy.

This was the point at which she had to put into effect the final and most crucial part of The Plan which she had worked out back in St Petersburg (that was what

Varya called it to herself: The Plan, with capital letters). Yesterday evening, under cover of darkness, she had crossed the Danube in a boat a little above Zimnitsa, where two weeks previously the heroic Fourteenth Division under General Dragomirov had completed a forced crossing of that formidable watery barrier. This was the beginning of Turkish territory, the zone of military operations, and it would certainly be only too easy to slip up here. There were Cossack patrols roaming the roads, and if she once let her guard down she was as good as done for - she would be packed off back to Bucharest in the winking of an eye. But Varya was a resourceful girl, so she had anticipated this and taken appropriate measures.

The discovery of a coaching inn in the Bulgarian village on the south bank of the Danube had been a really great stroke of luck, and after that things had gone from good to better; the landlord understood Russian and had promised to give her a reliable vodach - a guide - for only five roubles. Varya had bought wide trousers much like Turkish chalvars, a shirt, boots, a sleeveless jacket and an idiotic cloth cap, and a change of clothes had instantly transformed her from a European lady into a skinny Bulgarian youth who would not arouse the slightest suspicion in any patrol. She had deliberately commissioned a roundabout route, avoiding the columns of march, in order to enter Tsarevitsy not from the north but from the south; and there, in the general army headquarters, was Pyotr Yablokov, Varya's . . . Well, actually, it is not quite clear just who he is. Her fiance? Her comrade? Her husband? Let us call him her former husband and future fiance. And also -naturally - her comrade.

They had set out while it was still dark on a creaky, ramshackle carutza, a Roumanian-style cart. Her vodach Mitko, tight-lipped, with grey moustaches, chewed tobacco all the while, constantly ejecting long streams of brown spittle on to the road (Varya winced every time he did it). At first he had crooned some exotic Balkan melody, then he had fallen silent and sunk into a reverie. It was clear enough now what thoughts he had been pondering.

He could have killed me, Varya thought with a shudder.Or even worse. And without the slightest problem - who would bother investigating in these partsl They would just blame those what's-their-names - Bashi-Bazouks.

But though things may have stopped short of murder, they had turned out quite badly enough. That traitor Mitko had led his female travelling companion to a tavern which resembled more than anything a bandit's den, seated her at a table and ordered some cheese and a jug of wine to be brought, while he himself turned back towards the door, gesturing as much as to say: I'll be back in a moment. Varya had dashed after him, not wishing to be abandoned in this dim, dirty and distinctly malodorous sink of iniquity, but Mitko had said he needed to step outside - not to put too fine a point on it - in order to satisfy a call of nature. When Varya did not understand, he had explained his meaning with a gesture and she had returned to her seat covered in confusion.