Stuart MacBride
A Dark So Deadly
As always Ive received a lot of help from a lot of people while I was writing this book, so Id like to take this opportunity to thank: Prof. Sue Black, Dr Roos Eisma, Vivienne McGuire, and Dr Lucina Hackman, all of whom do excellent work at the University of Dundees Centre for Anatomy and Human Identification; Sergeant Bruce Crawford who answers far more daft questions than anyone should ever have to, as does Professor Dave Barclay; Sarah Hodgson, Jane Johnson, Julia Wisdom, Jaime Frost, Anna Derkacz, Sarah Collett, Charlie Redmayne, Roger Cazalet, Kate Elton, Hannah Gamon, Cait Davies, Damon Greeney, Finn Cotton, the eagle-eyed Anne OBrien, Marie Goldie, the DC Bishopbriggs Super Squad, and everyone at HarperCollins, for doing such a stonking job; Phil Patterson and the team at Marjacq Scripts, for keeping my cat in shoes all these years; Catherine Pellegrino, and Sandra Sawicka for translational help; and lets not forget Cecelia Lynch, or James, Duncan, Katy, and Liz Shannon who helped raise money for two very worthy causes, and Matt Patterson whose wallet makes several guest appearances. And thank you to Tony Dykes of the British Film Institute for permission to quote Stay at Home within these pages.
Of course, there wouldnt be any books without bookshops, booksellers, and book readers so thank you all, youre stars.
And saving the best for last as always Fiona and Grendel.
The wall whispers to him with splintered wooden lips. Theyll worship you. Theyll worship you. Theyll worship you...
Its words fill the gloom, rolling around and around and through him, pulsing and pulling. Theyll worship you.
Why?
Why cant he just die?
Theyll worship you: youll be a god.
Is this what gods feel like? Thirsty. Aching.
Every muscle in his stomach throbs from the repeated heaving. Every breath tastes of bile.
Bile and dark, gritty wood smoke. Filling the low room with its stained wooden walls.
Theyll worship you: youll be a god.
He slumps back, making the rusty links of chain rattle and clank against each other. Heavy around his throat. Heavier where its bolted into the wall. The wall that talks.
Youll be a god.
He cant even answer it, his mouth is desert dry, tongue like a breezeblock, blood booming in his ears. Boom. Boom. Boom.
So thirsty... But if he drinks the foul brown water in the jug, hell be sick again.
A god.
He turns his face to the wall. Finds a silent crack in the wood. And stares through into the other room.
Theyll worship you. Theyll worship you.
Through there, its bright: a mix of light and shadow as someone stands on their tiptoes to slot another pole of fish into the rack. Herrings, splayed open, tied in pairs at the tail, their flattened sides like hands. Praying.
Help me...
He opens his mouth, but its too dry to make words. Too burned by the bile.
Theyll worship you.
Why cant he just die?
Up above, high above the poles of praying fish, eight fingertips brush a blade of sunlight. They run their tips along its sharp edge as the body they belong to sways in the darkness. Caught in the breeze from the open door. Head down like the fish arms dangling. Skin darkened to an ancient oak brown.
Youll be a god.
Then the person on the other side disappears. Comes back with a wheelbarrow piled up with sawdust and small chunks of wood. Dumps the lot in the middle of the room. Stoops to light it. Stands back as pale tendrils of smoke coil up into the air. Backs away and closes the door.
Now the only light is the faint orange glow of the smouldering wood.
Youll be a god.
He slides down against the wall. Too tired and thirsty to cry. Too tired to do anything but wait for the end to come.
Theyll worship you...
Why cant he just die?
Then the little girl with the lizards tail jumped into the air with a whoosh! Ive got it! she shrieked. We can make an enormous pie out of all the bits of hair and beard!
Ichabod scowled at her. Thats a horrid idea, he said, because it was. No one wants to eat a cake made of hair.
Ah, but the hair of the Gianticus Moleraticus is magical and tastes of everything you like in the whole world! Gumdrops and sausages, baked beans and chocolate biscuits, custard and ham. She scooped up a big handful of hair and shoved it in Ichabods mouth. See?
But to Ichabod it just tasted of hair. The little girl was clearly insane...
R.M. Travis
The Amazing Adventures of Ichabod Smith (1985)
And if some motherf*cker gonna call the police?
Im-a grab my nine-mill and Im-a make him deceased.
Donny $ick Dawg McRoberts
Dont Mess with the $ick Dawg
Bobs Speed Trap Records (2016)
POLICE! COME BACK HERE, YOU WEE SOD!
Only that wasnt really right, was it? Ainsley Dugdale wasnt a wee sod he was a dirty great big lumping hulk of a sod, hammering his way along Manson Avenue. Ape-long arms and short legs pumping, scarf flittering out behind him, baldy head glinting in the morning sunshine.
Callum gritted his teeth and hammered after him.
Why did no one ever come back when they were told to? Anyone would think people didnt want to get arrested.
Squat grey council houses scrolled past on either side of the street, lichen-flecked pantiles and harled walls. Front gardens awash with weeds. More abandoned sofas and washing machines than gnomes and bird tables.
A couple of kids were out on their bikes, making lazy figure eights on the tarmac. The wee boy had sticky-out ears and a flat monkey nose, a roll-up sticking out the corner of his mouth leaving coiled trails of smoke behind him. The wee girl was all blonde ringlets and pierced ears, swigging from a tin of extra-strong cider as she freewheeled. Both of them dressed in baggy jeans, trainers, and tracksuit tops. Baseball caps on the right way around, for a change.
Rap music blared out of a mobile phone. Cops cant take me, cos Im strong like an oak tree, / Fast like the grand prix, / Im-a still fly free...
The wee girl shifted her tinny to the other hand and raised a middle finger in salute as Callum ran past. HOY, PIGGY, I SHAGGED YER MUM, YEAH?
Her wee friend made baboon hoots. HOOH! HOOH! HOOH! PIGGY, PIGGY, PIGGY!
Neither of them looked a day over seven years old.
The delights of darkest Kingsmeath.
Dugdale skittered around the corner at the end of the road. Almost didnt make it banged against the side of a rusty Renault, righted himself and kept on going, up the hill.
RUN, PIGGY, RUN! Little Miss Cider appeared, standing on the pedals to keep up, grinning as she flanked him. COME ON, PIGGY, PUT SOME WELLY IN IT!
Her baboon friend pedalled up on the other side. FAT PIGGY, LAZY PIGGY!
Bugger off, you little sods... Callum wheeched through the turn, into another row of grubby houses. Low garden walls guarded small squares of thistle and dandelions, ancient rusty hatchbacks up on bricks, the twisted metal brackets where satellite dishes used to be.
COME ON, PIGGY!
The gap was narrowing. Dugdale might have got off to an impressive sprint start, but his long game wasnt anywhere near as good puffing and panting as he lumbered up Munro Place. Getting slower with every step.