Schmich - Wear Sunscreen: a Primer for Real Life

Wear

Sunscreen

acknowledgments

All the people who are important to mefriends, relations, musesare lurking in the lines of this book. I wont name them, but without their inspiration over the years, I never would have written this column, perhaps would never have written anything at all. I owe a special thank-you to Dave Burgin, my first editor and a newspaperman like no other, who gave me the courage of my voice.

Ladies and
Gentlemen,

Wear sunscreen.

If I could offer you only
one tip for the future,
sunscreen
would be it.

The long-term benefits of sunscreen havebeen proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience.

I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and
beauty of your youth.

Oh, never mind.

You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until theyve faded.

But trust me,

in twenty years, youll look back atphotos of yourself and recall in a wayyou cant grasp now how muchpossibility lay before you andhow fabulous you really looked.

You are
not as fat as
you imagine.

Dont worry about the future.
Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum.

The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at four p.m. on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing
every day
that scares you.

Sing.

Dont be reckless
with other
peoples hearts.

Dont put up with people
who are reckless
with yours.

F

l

o

s

s.

Dont waste
your time
on jealousy.

Sometimes youre ahead,
sometimes youre behind.

The race is long and, in the end, its only with yourself.

Remember
compliments
you receive.

Forget the insults.
If you succeed in doing
this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters.

Throw away
your old bank statements.

STRE

TCH.

Dont feel guilty if you dont know what you want to do with your life.

The most interesting people I know didnt know at twenty-two what they wanted to do with their lives.

Some of the most
interesting
forty-year-olds
I know still dont.

Get plenty of calcium.

Be kind to your knees.

Youll miss them when
theyre gone.

Maybe youll marry,
maybe you wont.

Maybe youll have children,
maybe you wont.

Maybe youll divorce at forty,

maybe youll dance the
funky chicken
on your seventy-fifth
wedding anniversary.

Whatever you do,
dont congratulate
yourself too much, or
berate yourself either.

Enjoy your body.

Use it
every way
you can.

Dont be afraid of it
or of what other people think of it.

Its the greatest instrument
youll ever own.

Dance,
even if
you have
nowhere
to do it
but your
living room.

Read the
directions,
even if
you dont
follow them.

Do not read
beauty
magazines.

They will only
make you
feel ugly.

Get to know your parents.

You never know
when theyll be
gone for good.

Be nice to your siblings.

Theyre your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends
come and go, but with
a precious few
you should hold on.

Work hard to bridge the gaps
in geography and lifestyle,
because the older you get,
the more you need the people
who knew you
when you were young.

Live in
New York City
once,
but leave
before it makes
you hard.

Live in
Northern California
once,
but leave
before it makes
you soft.

Travel.

Accept certain

inalienable truths:
Prices will rise.

Politicians will philander.

You, too, will get old.

And when you do,
youll fantasize that when you
were young,
prices were reasonable,
politicians were noble,
and children respected
their elders.

Respect your elders.

Dont expect anyone else
to support you.

Maybe you have a trust fund.
Maybe youll have
a wealthy spouse.

But you never know when
either one might run out.

Dont mess too much
with your hair
or by the time youre forty
it will look eighty-five.

Be careful whose advice
you buy,
but be patient
with those who
supply it.

Advice is a form of nostalgia.

Dispensing it is a way
of fishing the past from
the disposal,
wiping it off,
painting over the ugly parts,
and recycling it for more
than its worth.

But trust me
on the sunscreen.

To my mother, who was wise enough not to burden her eight children with advice.

Wear Sunscreen: A Primer for Real Lifecopyright 1998, 2008 theChicago Tribune.All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of reprints in the context of reviews.

For information, write Andrews McMeel Publishing, LLC, an Andrews McMeel Universal company, 1130 Walnut Street, Kansas City, Missouri 64106.

ISBN: 978-1-4494-2689-7

Library of Congress Control Number: 97-80367

www.andrewsmcmeel.com

Cover design, illustration, and hand let tering: Jay Smith-Juicebox Designs

Introduction

Most of us live life in a haze of days. One day we eat, we drink, we work, we shop, we sleep, we brush our teeth. The next day we do it all again. Occasionally in the blur of routine tasks, we have a clear thought about how we live and how wed like to, and notice with distress that the two are not the same.