Also by r.h. Sin Whiskey Words & a Shovel I Whiskey Words & a Shovel II Whiskey Words & a Shovel III Rest in the Mourning A Beautiful Composition of Broken Algedonic Planting Gardens in Graves
scene one. youre waiting arent you youre always waiting for a sign something thatll help you believe in him and all of his lies youre in denial about the truth never questioning his excuse say you think highly of yourself but you still entertain his abuse what happened to your soul i see the bruises and the scars he never deserved to touch your canvas howd you forget that you are art i know it fucking hurts but ill just say this because its true any man who hurts your heart is incapable of falling for you and i know somewhere you agree this is the hardest lesson learned thought it was cool to play with fire but no one warned you that itd burn now all the promises were broken you cut yourself on shards of lies smiling in every selfie but inside you scream and cry now whats a heart to do when it aches black and blue you put trust in his hands but now his hands are harming you there is love, i hope you find it it lives within, i hope you find it that text says, baby i miss you but i hope you know hes lying think of me a friend or a stranger who gives a fuck i just wish to see you grow im tired of seeing you stuck scene two. where do you go when your eyes stare into the moon where do you go when your heart feels too heavy to hold do you even know how beautiful you are how the stars envy you full of a light that shines through darkness full of life in the dead of night searching for yourself lost in a forest of misfortune and betrayal you could yell and wake up the sun and yet you sit silently in the darkness in deep thought like a daydream that occurs at night i wonder where you wander when you look into the moon scene three. she felt like feeling nothing cold like a touch of winter empty like the wine bottles that took up space in her room a summer of mistakes led her here a bed filled with loneliness and a heart tired of breaking she felt like feeling nothing she grew tired missing you scene four. she knows things she knows so much more than you realize noticing it all and so much of what she sees has become too much for her heart she lives with it your secrets, your lies the things youve kept hidden she knows every hiding place and yet she says nothing she sits silently watching you play a losing game with her heart one day shell let you know what she knows and thatll be the day that shes ready to let go scene six. i think in some way the liquor complicated but somehow complemented her grief in a temporary way often drinking whatever she could with hopes of drowning her demons and i dont think she was wrong for searching for a cure but i do wish she knew that what she actually needed was to find more of herself because at the end of each night she had always been the one strong enough to save her own soul from the pits of depression scene seven. midnight has been harsh to her heart betrayed by her own mind the soul of a woman damaged by the person she should have never loved overthinking herself into a version of hell tonight she fights struggling to survive but somehow on this night shell overcome her troubles scene eight. she realized that wanting him meant losing herself she realized that she couldnt save her own soul because her hands were too busy holding the hand of someone who no longer deserved her energy scene nine. sometimes you just have to let go of certain people in order to make room for something beautiful to enter your life scene ten. save yourself for yourself right now only you deserve you scene eleven. i hope you stop caring when they do i hope you walk away because they will i hope you know that youll be fine and theyll regret losing a woman like you scene twelve. winter calls the air changes and the sky turns pale relationships become complicated a love turned hell like seasons changing love fades like the warmth of a summer and now the process begins the letting go of a lover scene thirteen. who were you before you decided to let the world dictate who youd become sure enough youve always been beautiful and yet youve struggled to see this because society took your truth then replaced it with lies i wish you knew just how remarkable you are i wish you knew just how amazing you already were before the world told you who you should be scene fourteen. when you go to bed with strangers you wake up lonelier than you previously felt the heart collapses into itself filling the void with more emptiness but the sex, it rarely helps scene fifteen. she walked through the fire wearing nothing but a smile because she knew damn well that shed bring her demons to their knees scene sixteen. deserve me deserve me deserve me scene seventeen. fight for her while she still gives a fuck because one day youll be too late scene eighteen. i think there are times where you miss the version of yourself who never knew what it meant to feel betrayed scene nineteen. in you are poems that arent meant to be read by everyone scene twenty. she was more than they could ever comprehend she was more than she knew scene twenty-one. you are more than what you appear to be you are more than your exterior theres so much more to you than the surface scene twenty-two. you were golden before him youll be golden after scene twenty-three. i think you outgrew them your heart finally realized that being happy meant letting go scene twenty-four. look at you... a heart filled with scars a soul thats been aching and yet somehow you manage to smile scene twenty-five. a good heart with the right love falling for all the wrong people scene twenty-six. two flowers growing in opposite directions a friendship ending scene twenty-seven. how easy it is to become a poet between the hours of midnight and 3 in the morning scene twenty-eight. i can feel the weariness in your fingers as you turn each page in this book searching for something thatll calm the raging oceans of negative emotions living within the temple of your heart i feel you i understand scene twenty-nine. she could finally look to herself once she realized that she had everything she needed scene thirty. the moon knows her better than any man could she told her secrets to the night and kept it all hidden behind a beautiful smile during the day scene thirty-one. the best revenge is realizing that you never needed the person who hurt you scene thirty-two. cant argue with silence it never speaks back be silent when others no longer deserve your words scene thirty-three. you cant plant yourself in unhealthy relationships and expect roses to grow scene thirty-four. youre beautiful even when he doesnt see it scene thirty-five. you are not wrong for wanting someone who reminds your heart that it deserves to be loved scene thirty-six. my dear you must learn to walk away from anyone who no longer appreciates your presence scene thirty-seven. dont betray yourself just to protect those who never protect you scene thirty-eight. the sun doesnt feel the same as it used to ive been hiding from its light in search of a shade thatll keep my secrets from the rest of the world i used to smile listening to the birds chirping outside my window but now their melodies sound like chaos to my ears small animalistic reminders of how happier everything else is outside of myself and how sad ive become on a morning where i should be happy to be alive but im not my whole life has been about waiting always waiting, always hanging on to the tomorrows of today or trying to figure out how to survive the aches of yesterday my past has been riddled with riddles that i cant solve and even though im used to this struggle im still fighting to evolve the rain falls from within overflowing internally im drowning, slowly consumed by the sadness of it all and somehow living in this moment feels like dying all the same still mourning. and youre here your heart breaking your weary eyes staring at the words on this page youre in search of something thatll calm the chaos that lives within your mind youre just searching for something to ease the aches that reside in your heart your pain has brought you here the hurt that dwells in your bones has brought you here to me i see you i hear you i feel you i understand you should be proud of yourself bending without breaking falling but finding the strength to pick yourself up from a pit filled with broken hearts and dreams dismantled by the lies of those incapable of being honest your softness is not a weakness your kindness is your strength give all of the things that theyve taken for granted to yourself because right now more than anything you deserve you its time to love yourself echoes of ex. this isnt what i wanted i thought i needed you until i realized that you never deserved me after them. it hurts because you cared more than you should have it hurts because your heart is brave enough to love unconditionally dont be afraid of the hurt dont run away from the pain in the midst of chaos youll cultivate peace after the destruction youll rebuild yourself thank you love. i know you youre the girl with a smile on her face and sadness in her eyes youre the girl refusing to let life break you youre the girl who always survives youre the one who inspired these words and so i thank God for you self, July 9th. she, a rose she brought herself to bloom aperture. if you want to taste the universe just kiss her July 9th 2017. and for so long she had no clue that all this time she was always saving herself all the mighty. powerful women are tired of trying for lovers who never try for them asking the night. i once spray-painted your name across the walls of my heart all the false sentiments that appeared to be genuine still push me to the edge of insanity thinking to myself how could i ever fall for someone too weak to catch me how could i love someone so empty for once. i waited and waited the moments passed slow and time slowly faded like color placed in bleach second and optional second and often last sometimes never picked at all my pain transformed into anger i waited and waited until i couldnt anymore and there was nothing left for me to hold on to you lost me i lost nothing
