Dave Meurer - New every day : navigating Alzheimers with grace and compassion
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Dave Meurers latest book, New Every Day : Navigating Alzheimer s with Grace and Compassion , is a heartfelt and helpful guide to any family who has been touched by the long and painful journey of Alzheimers. Written in Daves signature style, this book delivers, and it takes some of the mystery out of this disease while giving hope, compassion, and a whole lot of grace to those on the front lines.
Martha Bolton , Emmy-nominated former staff writer for Bob Hope and author of over eighty books, including Josiah for President and The Home Game
In a word, this book is fantastic! Dave has just the right balance of lighthearted humor when permissible, insight when needed, and valuable information throughoutall presented with charm and practicality. I loved it!
Marilyn Meberg , author and speaker
Dealing with a loved one who has Alzheimers disease can be stressful and heartbreaking. You need support from someone who has been there. This book is like sitting down with a good friend, swapping stories, having a good cry, but also laughing together at some of your shared experiences. As a therapist, I highly recommend it. Laughter truly is good for the soul.
Timothy R. Holler , EdD, LPC-MHSP, cofounder, Sage Hill Counseling, Memphis, TN
I found New Every Day to be both informative and entertaining. I appreciated the information on Alzheimers/dementia issues and on all the issues involved in caring for loved ones. It was helpful to read about others similar issues and how they handled them. Daves book also showed that it is helpful to keep a good sense of humor and how to do that respectfully.
Margaret Fielding , registered nurse and caregiver
Its obvious that Dave has truly experienced a family member with Alzheimers. Im impressed that he took it upon himself to learn everything he could about his mother-in-laws disease. His sense of humor along with his knowledge of the process is refreshing. I hope many families affected by Alzheimers have the chance to read this!
Elizabeth M. Amlin , community relations director at Sundial Assisted Living
2018 by Dave Meurer
Published by Revell
a division of Baker Publishing Group
PO Box 6287, Grand Rapids, MI 49516-6287
www. revellbooks.com
Ebook edition created 2018
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meansfor example, electronic, photocopy, recordingwithout the prior written permission of the publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is on file at the Library of Congress, Washington, DC.
ISBN 978-1-4934-1506-9
Unless otherwise indicated, Scripture quotations are from the Holy Bible, New International Version. NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com
Scripture quotations labeled KJV are from the King James Version of the Bible.
Scripture quotations labeled NASB are from the New American Standard Bible, copyright 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. (www.Lockman.org)
This publication is intended to provide helpful and informative material on the subjects addressed. Readers should consult their personal health professionals before adopting any of the suggestions in this book or drawing inferences from it. The author and publisher expressly disclaim responsibility for any adverse effects arising from the use or application of the information contained in this book.
To my amazing wife, Dale,
who has risen to each challenge
with grace and compassion.
Cover
Endorsements
Title Page
Copyright Page
Dedication
Acknowledgments
1. Sweet Little Lies
2. Driven to Distraction
3. The Non-Chapter Note
4. The Runaway
5. This Is Not Normal
6. Money Matters
7. Im Feeling Fine
8. Laughter Is Good for the Soul, Spleen, and Mental Health
9. Notable Techniques for Beating a Dead Horse
10. Dr. Finsters Miracle Dementia-B-Gone Elixir
11. This Is Going to Hurt
12. The Ebb and Flow of Dementia
13. Some Can
14. And Now a Few Words from Karins Daughter
17. Medicare and MedicaidHow They Will and Wont Help
18. Are You Smoking Something?
19. Am I Wasting My Time?
20. Patience Is a Virtue
21. Double Trouble
22. Moving In, Moving Out, Moving On
23. Independent (More or Less) Living
24. A$$isted Living
25. Hospice Is Not a Bad Word
26. They Call Me a Wanderer
27. Resentment, Fear, and Other Hazards of Caregiving
28. Dont Bail Out Now
29. A Life More Real Than This One
30. A Few Final Thoughts
Notes
About the Author
Back Ads
Back Cover
I need to give a shout-out here to a few folks who played a key role in this book.
Several cubic yards of gratitude go to my editor, Lonnie Hull DuPont, who believed that a humor writer could take on a serious subject and not make a hot mess of it. Thank you for believing in this project, and for the very gentle edits.
I thank Peggy Whitten for her insights, for letting me quote her liberally, and for just being an all-around awesome person. The world does not know what you did for your mom, but God certainly does. And Greg Whitten has been the very model of a supportive spouse. You two really are a dynamic duo, only without the superhero outfits.
Kudos to Steve Laube, my agent, who has been there from the beginning of my writing career. Steve was my first cheerleader, but without the pom-poms and actual cheers, much less the acrobatic tricks.
Last, and by no means least, I want everyone to know that my sons Mark and Brad have been truly wonderful to their grandmother.
Driven to Distraction
I adore the department of motor vehicles. Truly. While I dislike the long lines, the forms, the fees, the taxes, the interminable delays, and the implied message that all this is somehow necessary for me to simply drive from point A to point B, I am smitten with the DMV because they are the ones who took my mother-in-law off the road. I want to give them a collective kiss on their bureaucratic lips.
There are a hundred different telltale signs that a loved one is losing the capacity to drive. One of the first, subtle signs I witnessed was when Karin roared down our driveway, swerved to the side of our house, and skidded to a gravel-spewing stop a quarter inch from our gas meter. I nearly committed a hygienic impropriety.
Karin smiled as she ambled from the car, blissfully unaware that she had come a few millimeters from detonating our house.
Tragically, what is becoming more and more obvious to you is often not at all obvious to the senior citizen who prizes her independence and still holds a license to operate what has essentially become a two-thousand-pound portable wrecking device. A license to drive represents freedom and independence, and if you even hint at taking it away, you can expect the kind of fierce resistance Napoleon encountered at Waterlooonly with more yelling involved and no French accents. Youre going to need reinforcements.
I suggest a family intervention where you gently but frankly express concern about whether your loved one is having trouble driving. Sometimes this goes well, and the senior agrees to hand over the keys. I use the word sometimes in the same sense in which I note that s ometimes Halleys comet streaks by the earth, or sometimes you win the lottery and have enough disposable income to purchase Jamaica. More commonly, the reaction is akin to asking a mother bear if you can keep one of her cubs. You might be able to regain some of your hearing a few hours after the roar stops ringing in your ears.
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