Chonda Pierce - Laughing in the Dark: A Comedians Journey through Depression

A Comedians Journey through Depression

CHONDA PIERCE

laughing in the dark

Howard Books, a division of Simon & Schuster, Inc.
1230 Avenue of the Americas, New York, NY 10020
www.howardpublishing.com

Laughing in the Dark 2007 by Chonda Pierce

All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof in any form whatsoever. For information, address Permission Department, Simon & Schuster, 1230 Avenue of the Americas, New York, NY 10020.
www.SimonandSchuster.com

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data TK

10 Digit ISBN: 1-58229-641-3;
13 Digit ISBN: 978-1-58229-641-8
eISBN-13: 978-1-439-12301-0

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

HOWARD colophon is a registered trademark of Simon & Schuster, Inc.

Manufactured in the United States of America

For information regarding special discounts for bulk purchases, please contact Simon & Schuster Special Sales at 1-800-456-6798 or business@simonandschuster.com.

Edited by Michele Buckingham

Cover design by John Lucas

Interior design by John Mark Luke Designs

Photography illustrations by Michael Gomez

Special thanks to Vicki Graham, M.S.P.S., for providing the practical advice included in each chapter under the heading Expert Insight.

The names on the emails to Chonda have been changed to protect the privacy of those who sent them, but each one is real and from Chondas email inbox.

Unless otherwise noted, Scripture quotations marked NIV are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version . Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved. Scripture quotations marked MSG are taken from The Message. Copyright 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group. Scripture quotations marked NASB are taken from the New American Standard Bible, 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. Scripture quotations marked KJV are taken from the King James Version. Scripture quotations marked AMP are from the Amplified Bible, copyright 1954, 1958, 1962, 1964, 1965, 1987 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission (www.Lockman.org). Scriputre quotations marked TLB are from The Living Bible, copyright 1971. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois, 60189. Scripture quotations marked NKJV are from the New King James Version. Copyright 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

My deepest gratitude to my incredible family and friends who refused to leave me alone in the dark.

This book is dedicated to anyone sitting in the dark right now:

Hear me! You are never alone, my friend.

Fight the lies whispered in your ear today and remember:

You will keep him in perfect peace, Whose mind is stayed on You, Because he trusts in You.

Isaiah 26:3

Keep movingeven in the dark. Your trust in Him will bring peace of mind.

Love,

Chonda

contents

Without the assistance of that Divine Being I cannot succeed. With that assistance I cannot fail. Trusting in Him who can go with me, and remain with you, and be everywhere for good, let us confidently hope that all will yet be well.

Abraham Lincoln

The God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm, and steadfast.

1 Peter 5:10

my winter breakdown

I think I know where Satan stays when hes on the road. You know, when hes hitting conventions and seminars and putting in personal appearances on movie sets. Or when he just wants to hang out with some of his zombie friends and needs a room with a pullout bed. Not long ago I stumbled across a place hed probably call home. But then again, I was having a really bad day.

It was a hotelone of a massive chain of hotels and motels with locations in every city, town, and neighborhood in Americathat worked around the general theme of gray: gray walls, gray ceilings, gray floors. (Did I leave any surface out?) Is a can of paint too much to ask? I told the talking light when I passed by. Thats right, a talking light. As I walked down the hallway toward the lobby, the beam lit up in dull gray and told me, Watch your step. I looked down, but it was too late. I tripped over something gray and nearly broke my neck. A talking light! As my mom would say, Thats of the devil right there.

Let me describe this hotel to you. Perhaps youll recognize it. You or someone you love may have been in one just like it. As I said, the walls, the ceilings, and the floors were gray. The lights talkedat least, when they wanted to. There was a big staircase up to the lobby, and on either side water cascaded down over a dark green light that shined up from somewhere below. I guess it was supposed to be an artistic kind of thing; but when I first saw the cascades, all I could think of was the green, slimy stuff from a scene in Ghostbusters. Other people milled through the lobby or lurked in dark corners, but I couldnt make out their faces; they were like gray, whispering shadows that never looked me in the eye.

Outside it was dark and gray and raining. Inside it was dark and gray and bubbling up green slime. I felt cold, gray, and alone. At any moment I expected the chandelier to announce, God has left the building!

But then again, did I tell you I was having a really bad day?

An Empty Tank

Winter break was over, and it was time for me to get back to work: back to airplane rides and sound checks, writing, performing, laughing, recording, more flights, more writing, more laughing, a bus tour, more performing, more laughing. Oh yeahin case you dont know, Im a comedian. Laughter is my job. If you dont laugh, I dont work. Im also a wife and mother with a couple of teenaged children, a husband, three dogs, and a hamster. (At least, the hamster is alive at the time of this writing. By the time you read this who knows? He has received a few threatening phone callsthats all Im going to say.)

During the winter I try to rest up and recharge. Its my time to kick back and enjoy my family and friendsto soak in some fun rather than dish it out. After a full spring, summer, and fall living at six laughs per minute, the winter is my personal time to refresh and refill the comedy tank.

But not this time. This time I spent my winter break in about four different hospitals, three clinics, six waiting roomsnot to mention an hour in that blood-pressure chair at the drugstore and multiple hours surfing between fourteen different Web sites that all begin with Medi-. My home base? The gray hotel with the talking lights and the green, bubbling slime. You see, this time instead of a winter break, I had a winter breakdown.