Kayla Aimee - In Bloom: Trading Restless Insecurity for Abiding Confidence

Dont read this book unless youre okay with the eerie sense that Kayla crept into your house and read your diary while you werent looking! On every page of this refreshingly honest book, I met a new friend who seemed to know exactly how I feelwhich, in the end, was precisely what I needed. If youve struggled with shame, insecurity, and fear, this book is for you. Thank you, Kayla, for reading our diaries, taking us by the hand, and leading us into freedom.

Jennifer Dukes Lee , author of The Happiness Dare and Love Idol

As someone who has struggled with insecurity for many years, I found Kayla Aimees words like a balm to my heart. Her gut-honest (and laugh-out-loud funny) stories woven with poignant, biblical truths made me feel less alone and less crazy. (Im so glad Im not the only one whos battled completely unfounded fears or whos made up countless stories about what everyone else is thinking of me!) In Bloom is a must-read book for any woman who has ever felt like she is less-than, not enough, or that she just doesnt measure up.

Crystal Paine , New York Times best-selling author of Say Goodbye to Survival Mode and founder of MoneySavingMom.com

I found Kaylas book on a day I was overwhelmed with commitments for which I felt completely inadequate. I just wanted to hide. Within the first few chapters, her refreshing and vulnerable storytelling welcomed me in and encouraged me to boldly step forward with confidence, knowing God had created me for this exact purpose. I needed coffee-time conversation with a girlfriend who understood, and In Bloom offered that gift when I needed it most.

Jen Schmidt , blogger at Balancing Beauty and Bedlam , author of Just Open the Door , and host of the Becoming Conference

Insecurity is no laughing matter, and yet somehow Kayla speaks to the subject with a levity that lightens our load as we laugh our way to healing and wholeness. In the pages of In Bloom , Kayla chronicles her own journey from a self-abasing inner dialogue into the freeing truth of Gods thoughts toward her. Sojourn with her and youll start seeing yourself as God sees you too. What a miracle when His thoughts about us become our thoughts about ourselves, when His Word becomes the words we choose to believe are most true.

Wendy Speake , author of Triggers , Parenting Scripts , and Life Creative

In Bloom is a fresh drink of grace that goes down easy. Kayla masterfully weaves stories and truth so seamlessly, youre almont sure youre sitting on the back porch with her. Chapter by chapter, theres a growing confidence that you really will be okay, and that today you truly can give yourself a break under the cover of Gods love.

Kelly Balarie , speaker, author of Fear Fighting , and blogger at www.purposefulfaith.com

I have this secret belief that every woman I know is wondering if she really fits in, if people really like her, if she really matters. (Maybe its just because I carry those fears in my pocket everywhere I go.) In Bloom opens wide the doubts, insecurities, and fears we carry as women and, with equal parts of humor and humility, Kayla Aimee invites us to hold those thoughts and feelings up to the light of Gods Word. I cant think of a single woman who wouldnt be just like melaughing, crying, and praying her way through this book, whispering to herself, Me too! And at the end, finding herself thankful for the God who makes all things new.

Teri Lynne Underwood , author of Praying for Girls

Who can make you laugh until you cry and feel perfectly understood all at the same time? Kayla Aimee can and does in In Bloom . For every woman longing to rid herself of insecurity: this book is for you.

Erin Odom , author of More than Just Making It and You Can Stay Home with Your Kids

Copyright 2018 by Kayla Aimee

All rights reserved.

Printed in the United States of America

978-1-4336-8611-5

Published by B&H Publishing Group

Nashville, Tennessee

Published in association with literary agent Jenni Burke of D.C. Jacobson & Associations, LLC, an Author Management Company, www.dcjacobson.com.

Dewey Decimal Classification: 248.843

Subject Heading: WOMEN / SELF-CONFIDENCE / SELF-PERCEPTION

Cover design by Jennifer Allison, Studio Nth.

Unless otherwise noted, all Scripture quotations are taken from the Christian Standard Bible, Copyright 2017 by Holman Bible Publishers. Used by permission. Christian Standard Bible and CSB are federally registered trademarks of Holman Bible Publishers.

Also used: English Standard Version ( esv ), ESV Text Edition: 2016. Copyright 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

Also used: New Living Translation ( nlt ), copyright 1996, 2004, 2007, 2013, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Also used: The Message ( msg ), the New Testament in Contemporary English, 1993 by Eugene H. Peterson, published by NavPress, Colorado Springs, Colorado.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 22 21 20 19 18

To Ridley

For showing me the transformative magic of a new season

And to Scarlette

For teaching me how to flourish

Introduction

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has passed away, and see, the new has come!

2 Corinthians 5:17

My shoes were all wrong. Black Mary Janes with wide straps, they betrayed me with their sparkly sequins, catching the light from the classroom windows and reflecting it back on row upon row of matching white tennis shoes with three-and-a-half-inch rubber heels. I slid down further in my seat, tucking my toes under my backpack as a faint blush crept over my cheeks. Maybe no one would notice.

I glanced around furtively to assess the footwear situation of the rest of my classmates. White, chunky-heeled platform tennis shoes, white tennis shoes, white tennis shoes. What was this, gym class? Did everyone assume wed be doing first serves instead of first period today?

As I surveyed the sea of white platform heels, the most popular girl in our grade caught my eye, glancing down at the floor where I was self-consciously attempting to wedge my feet further under my backpack to hide my obviously uncool footwear choices. She smirked and bent her head close to the girl next to her, her chestnut brown hair swaying as she tilted her head in my direction. Thick and glossy, with artfully arranged little butterfly clips across the crown as though it was meant to look casual but must have taken all morning to pin in place, her hair fell across her face, blocking her from view but not quite muffling the sounds of the two of them giggling.

How did everyone even know what shoes to buy anyway? I mean, was there some sort of seventh-grade girl newsletter that circulated during the summer? To be considered cool, buy these shoes?

I had been trying hard to prepare for junior high. First, I convinced my mom to let me buy all those teen magazines (okay, so I hid some in the cart and snuck them on the conveyor belt when she wasnt looking), and then I mapped out elaborate charts with the coolest outfits I could afford on my meager babysitting salary. Like a vision board. I saw that on Oprah . I took a copy of Seventeen with me when I was shopping for a back-to-school wardrobe that should have made the cute boy in homeroom notice me. I blew basically my entire budget on those sequined Mary Janes in Delias, as seen on page forty-three. They were supposed to be THE thing that year. And okay, they totally did make my legs look longer.