Kathie Hynes - My Name Is Kathie and My Daughter Is a Lesbian: From Bible Verses to Rainbow Stickers

By Kathie Hynes

Copyright 2012 Kathie Hynes

http://www.kathiehynes.com

Cover design by Brian Hankes

Smashwords Edition

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Table of Contents

I can still remember the expression on mymoms face when I told her I was a lesbian: a mixture of shock,disgust, and confusion. Her journey through each of these emotionsand through healing and reconciliation unfolds in the followingpages and is truly a tale of courage. When I was asked to write theforeword, it seemed a simple feat. However, my views changed when Ibegan to write and the memories flooded back. I had the opportunityto realize how far our relationship had developed, changed, andstrengthened.

I know, now, that the tragic events thattore us apart were, in fact, a blessing. Perhaps its my perpetualoptimism, or my faith in knowing that everything happens for areason, but the work my mom and I have put into our relationshiphas become a great tool to reach out and help people in similarsituations. I have never been more impressed by the efforts someonehas put forth to grasp a concept. Her endeavor has brought her uponresearch, interviews, and a new sense of compassion that extendedinto one of her most feared and misunderstood realms. She trulygrabbed the bull by its horns (a rainbow set of horns), and took onthe task of understanding her own emotions and how they affectedme. A perfect example is when I texted her about the lesbian , gay , bisexual , and transgender (LGBT) community.

Mom replied, In my research, I learned itsLGBTQ. Q for questioning....

My mom was teaching me!

Of course, she is never content with onlyhelping me. Her experiences have translated into a desire to helpevery parent she can, every child that doesnt understand whattheir parent is going through and anyone who truly wants to make apositive impact on the relationship between Christianity andhomosexuality. As it always has been, Moms love for people and herdedication to making things work has sent her on a journey thatwill help everyone who wishes to listen.

Living in a place such as Long Beach,California, has unquestionably helped expand my horizons with queereducation, and recently, I invited Mom to participate in one of thebiggest gay events: Long Beach Pride. I asked her a month before,and surprisingly, it only took her two-and-a-half weeks to decide.She would attend.

Though I knew she was terrified of theunknownI know this because she looked up directions on how toattend a gay pride as a straight person, just in caseshe helped mein every way possible, as my role at the parade was to assist andorganize the motorcycles for the Dykes on Bikes. Mom was gung-ho.She awoke early to cook the volunteers breakfast, and I used hertruck to store helmets. She watched the parade with awe. Shefinally got the opportunity to see the community I had always toldher about, the camaraderie, and the unity.

During the parade, I followed her gaze andsaw the image I had seen when I first told her I was a lesbian: amixture of shock, disgust, and confusion. I realized that thetables had actually turned. Christian protesters were holding signsof people kissing. They were shouting hateful and offensiveremarks, and threatening hell to the parade attendees - they wereher new enemy.

Through this journey, I have realized howlucky I am to have a mom who loves me enough to take the steps ofreconciliation. I know you parents who are reading this book, ormerely skimming the pages, love your children just the same.Sometimes, you just need someone to show you where your own journeycan start.

Mom I love you. Thank you for taking thetime to show me support through your own dilemmas. I know that thispassage is far from over, and I cant wait to see the nextchapter.

In addition, dear reader, this book iswritten to help you, to guide you, to answer your questions, ormaybe to inspire you to ask your own questions. Whatever you aregoing through, there is a pot-of-gold at the end of the rainbow.Sometimes you just need to keep going.

--Whitney Hynes, California, 2009

Whitney was born by cesareansection. The nurse wrapped her snugly in a blanket and handed herto me. I held her against my breasts; she smiled. She was truly a gift from God.

I was in awe looking at her as I counted herfingers and toes. My mind went wild with the type of life I wantedfor her. I wanted her to experience everything, to laugh and enjoyher childhood, grow up to be a great citizen with Christian valuesand one day become a wife and mother.

I was pregnant with my second child when myfirst marriage ended. As a single parent, I needed to work fulltime. However, after remarrying, and having Whitney, I was able tospend more time with her than I had with my other two children.Although my husband and I were on a tight budget, we were able tomanage our life without me having to return to work.

My other girls, ages eight and nine at thetime of Whitneys birth, enjoyed having a real life doll to playwith. Whitney was always happy, always curious, and alwaysindependent. She was a professional student of everything!

She made up her mind before her secondbirthday that she wanted to go to preschool. She kept asking mewhen her birthday would come so she could go just like hersisters. A few days before her birthday, my husband, Whitneyand I toured the preschool in our mountain area. She did not wantto leave. We signed her up for three mornings a week. We arrived topick her up after her first day and she begged us to stay. She wasa full-time student from that moment on.

She attracted the attention of everyone withher huge, bright, blue eyes. Her preschool teacher loved her, andwhen putting the children down for their nap, she rocked Whitney tosleep.

We were always known as, Whitneysparents. We had no name. People in grocery stores and mallsstopped us to talk to her. She was social, outgoing, and madeeveryone smile.

As she grew, she thrived on learning. Sheloved school. She loved people. Her Brownie troop nicknamed herBright Eyes. She was popular among the students and teachersalike.

The principal in her elementary school fellin love with her. She called Whitney out of class to have lunchwith her in her office. Her niece shared the same name. In thesummer, she took Whitney on trips with her niece. To this day, sheis well remembered at the school.

We signed her up for Girl Scout camp in the summersto keep her occupied and to feed her hunger to learn. She grew tolove horses, swimming, boating, kayaking, theater and arts andcrafts. We enrolled her in one camp the first summer and she wantedto go to all the sessions offered, so the following year, and manyyears thereafter, she attended most of the summer camps, returninghome for four or five days between each session.

She loved the counselors and decided that when shegrew up, she would become a counselor too. She wrote to them afterthe camps ended and couldnt wait to see them the followingyear.

There were required courses she needed totake to be eligible as a counselor, including working with specialneeds children. She finished them at sixteen; however, the GirlScout Council only hired girls from seventeen. Nevertheless, sinceshe was well known within the council, and had attended camp formore than ten years, they hired her. Whitney had a special heartfor those children.