Ken Churilla - No One Said It Would Be Easy: A Husbands Journey Through His Wifes Battle With Breast Cancer

I am kind of stingy/picky when people ask me who would I let do something for me or work along side of me. Being in the world of MLB baseball for so many years, you get to meet all kinds: those willing to help you and others who just want to be seen with you. Ken Churilla, I have to say, is the one you want on your side. Hes creative and hard workingwhich is my favorite trait of anyonebut having good people skills tops them all. I know given a chance and challenge, Ken doesnt let you down. No doubt, writing a book on anything, he would be writing from his soul and heart.

Ron Kittle, 1983 AL Rookie of the Year, Chicago White Sox

Very few journalists are as passionate about music as Ken Churilla, and Ive always appreciated how he approaches a story from the singer/songwriters perspective. This book is out of the norm for him, and Im excited to see how he tackles this tough subject.

Gretchen Wilson, Country Music Artist

Having read countless memoirs, research, and instructional books about grieving, and supported many people on their journeys after losing a loved one; I havent come across a book quite like this. No One Said It Would Be Easy is a raw, brutally honest account of one mans traumatic loss and his struggle to put his life back together. The mistakes and triumphs this man makes are lessons for all of us. Trauma happens to the entire family system, no one escapes cancers path of destruction. The dying is certainly the most devastating, but the rebuilding is the most difficult. While not intended to be a manual about grieving, the author captures the range and intensity of emotions and the effect on the whole family when a loved one passes away from cancer. Self-help books tell us what to do, but this book also balances those tenets with many do not do scenarios. Mistakes are powerful learning tools, so reading about the consequences of Tommys missteps, may really help a lot of people. This book is also important because it Normalizes such a broad range of feelings, behavior, and thinking during the grieving process. Men need to hear that their pain is important and the way in which they display that pain is Normal. No One Said It Would Be Easy acknowledges the tremendous pain felt when losing a loved one to terminal illness. However, in the end, it is a story about courage and hope.

Elizabeth Fazio, Psy.D. & Licensed Clinical Psychologist, Long Grove Psychological Associates

As a male whose wife had had breast cancer, and knowing other men going through life and family crises, I find this book to be helpful given its real and honest narrative. No One Said It Would Be Easy gives the reader a real sense of what is going on behaviorally and emotionally with this husband and fathers struggle with his wifes battle with cancer. The book is also very real in highlighting 20/20 hindsight into various thoughts and actions. Raw and poignant insight into one mans psyche and actions as he deals with his wifes battle with breast cancer, I highly recommend this book as an effective therapeutic and cathartic tool not only for men but also women attempting to gain insight into a males thoughts and actions. The entire journey is very effectively narrated as if the reader is sitting across the kitchen table from Tommy as he talks about his thoughts and actions.

Dr. Frank Tantum, Retired Child and Family Psychologist and Lecturer, Cook County, Illinois

You often hear stories about battles with breast cancer and it always hits close to home when you are a women, as we all share that risk. On the other side of that coin are the loved ones who wage that battle alongside, shoulder to shoulder, and the fear, uncertainty and utter helplessness they experience facing such a harsh reality. No One Said It Would Be Easy is a sobering, well-written and brutally honest chronicle that stands as a companion guide for all men caught in this war of all wars. The Dos, Donts, and I Dont Knows are all captured here in a vulnerable tale that offers to shine a light in such inevitable darkness.

Brandy Reed, Senior Publicist, RPR Media

No One Said It Would be Easy

One Mans Journey Through His Wifes Battle With Breast Cancer

Inspired by a True Story

Ken Churilla

No One Said It Would be Easy
Copyright 2013 by Ken Churilla
All rights reserved

No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any means, electronic,
mechanical, photocopying, scanning, or otherwise, without permission in writing
from the publisher, except by a reviewer who may quote brief passages in a review.

For information on sales, licensing, or permissions, contact the publisher:

Dunham Books
63 Music Square East
Nashville, Tennessee 37203
www.dunhamgroupinc.com

Trade Paperback ISBN: 978-1-939447-79-1
Ebook ISBN: 978-1-939447-80-7

Printed in the United States of America

This book is dedicated to the millions of men who are
forced into this journey. I hope you can take this story and
in some small way, it helps you in yours.

.

WHEN IT COMES TO this dreaded disease, all bets are off. You cant predict when it will strike your life, you cant run away from the diagnosis and you cant stop the feeling of fleeting control. A thousand questions go through your mind and the strength and confidence you spent your life building all vanish with three little words: You have cancer.

I know because I have heard those words not once, but twice in my life and with each time, my reaction was completely different. So was that of the people around me.

The first time I got the diagnosis I was in college and doctors found a tumor on my ovary. My Grandmother had died of ovarian cancer so naturally my mother began to over-mother, yet all I could think about was whether or not I could have children. It was before the days of in-vitro fertilization and egg freezing and back in a time when cancer could (and would) rob women of their fertility. My doctors advice: Try to get pregnant as soon as possible. That was a bit of a problem, as I didnt even have a boyfriend.

Fast-forward to four children later, a successful, happy healthy wife and mother is bowled over: cancer again. This time while nursing my baby girl I found cancer on my right breast. This time, I was worried. Now there were people who were counting on me, who needed me. Now there was a husband so scared he couldnt look at me. I didnt want to be a patient to him, a fragile sick person. I wanted to be his partner but that didnt seem possible now. As I journeyed through the multiple surgeries and treatments as my cancer spread, I made a drastic decision: I would keep my health to myself.

Yes, I lied. I created a distance. I told my husband and my petrified mother I was having hernia surgery when in reality I was having cancer removed. A year later when I finally confessed to my cover up, the two people who meant the most in my life were devastated. A mistake? Probably. But given the chance again, I am not convinced I wouldnt make the same choice. Cancer changes you.

This book explores those changes not just for the patient but for their loved ones as well. It reminds you in such a powerful way that you cant judge or even understand what others are going through and it lifts up those who have been there by saying however you handled your brush with cancer, you cannot beat yourself up. Leave the beating for the disease and choose to live!