Carol Kent - Secret Longings of the Heart: Overcoming Deep Disappointment and Unfulfilled Expectations Now Includes a 12-Week Bible Study

With deep appreciation and heartfelt gratitude I acknowledge:

MY PARENTS, CLYDE AND PAULINE AFMAN

You are my constant encouragers and prayer supporters. I thank God for your involvement in my ministry.

MY SON, JASON PAUL (J. P.)

Your effervescent spirit and spontaneous bursts of humor kept my heart encouraged during the long hours at the computer.

MY FRIEND DEBORAH K. JONES

You supported me throughout this project with countless hours of personal involvement. Thank you for praying without ceasing, researching, answering my mail, taking phone calls, and proofreading the manuscript.

MY EDITOR, TRACI MULLINS

You taught me the meaning of the word teamwork. Coming alongside at a crucial time, you offered fresh ideas, challenging suggestions, and sound structure that gave this project the foundation it needed. In addition to being tremendously gifted as an editor, you had the ability to confront when necessary and to encourage throughout the writing process. Thank you for your friendship and professionalism.

MY SISTERSJENNIE DIMKOFF, PAULA AFMAN, BONNIE EMMOREY, AND JOY CARLSON

You provided a combination of laughter, tears, memories, support, and loving encouragement throughout this project. Writing about secret passions of the Christian woman would have been much more difficult without experiencing life with my four passionate sisters.

MY PRAYER SUPPORTERSKAY JELINEK, MAUREEN ONEILL, SUSANNE RAYNER, AND MARILYN FENNER

You kept me going when I was tempted to give up. Thank you for supporting me in many tangible ways during the months of writing. You are loved!

CAROL KENT is the president of Speak Up Speaker Services, a Christian speakers bureau, and the founder and director of Speak Up With Confidence seminars, a ministry committed to helping Christians develop their communication skills.

A member of the National Speakers Association, Carol is a nationally known speaker for conferences and retreats throughout the United States and Canada. A former radio show cohost, Carol has a B.S. in speech education and an M.A. in communication arts from Western Michigan University. She has been a featured speaker on Focus on the Family radio broadcasts and at the Praise Gathering for Believers. She has also been a keynoter for the Heritage Keepers and Time Out for Women arena events. She is a popular guest on a wide variety of radio and television programs and has been featured in a cover interview in Todays Christian Woman magazine.

Her books include Becoming a Woman of Influence, Tame Your Fears, Speak Up with Confidence, Mothers Have Angel Wings, and Detours, Tow Trucks, and Angels in Disguise. She has also cowritten the Designed for Influence Bible study series with Karen Lee-Thorp, along with the guided journal My Souls Journey: Becoming Who God Wants Me to Be (all NavPress).

Carol and her husband, Gene, make their home in Port Huron, Michigan. They have one grown son and two granddaughters.

To schedule Carol Kent to speak for your next event, please contact
Speak Up Speaker Services toll free at (888) 870-7719
or by e-mail at: Speakupinc@aol.com
www.SpeakUpSpeakerServices.com

All my longings lie open before you, O Lord;
my sighing is not hidden from you.

PSALM 38:9

A COUPLE OF years ago a friend of mine came for a visit. Deb is single, goal-oriented, highly motivated, and very creative. During the course of our conversation, she posed a most intriguing question: Carol, what makes you weep and pound the table?

I was taken aback for a moment. What a strange question. What does make me weep and pound the table? I asked for a more specific explanation of what she meant.

With growing intensity, she went on: What do you feel passionate about? My mind started spinning. Passion was a word I enjoyed using and secretly thought I possessed, but now I wasnt even sure I could properly define what it meant. That day, a one-hour lunch with a friend turned into a four-hour discussion about hopes and dreams, expectations and disappointments, longings and emotions, inner drives and resulting actions.

During the course of the afternoon, some heavy-duty brainstorming took place as Deb probed deeply: What are the causes, emotions, concerns, problems, people, and projects you feel deeply about? I soon realized that what I feel deeply about (even on the unconscious level) drastically affects my actions.

She continued, What does your heart long to be involved in? What are your secret dreams for the future? By this time my creativity was flowing and I began communicating at a deeper level, revealing things that passing acquaintances might find too lofty, too imaginative, or even amusing.

After quite some time had passed, I thought the hard questions were over, but I was wrongDeb was just getting warmed up! Where are you hurting right now, she asked, and how does pain affect your perspective? That was a tough question. I was just coming through a prolonged period of physical pain and my usual optimistic attitude had long since worn thin from the crippling grip of a damaged nerve. My motivation and personal productivity were greatly hindered by my lack of good health, even though my condition was temporary.

Debs last queries hit me like well-placed bullets and punctured my spiritual conscience. What are you willing to invest your time, your money, and your total energy toward? What emotions are you feeling that you dont want anyone else to know about?

Those questions became the springboard for one of the most stimulating discussions Ive ever had. There are moments in life when peak-level communication takes place and you begin speaking your secret passions out loud to another human being. That day I revealed my hidden heartbeat.

Thinking about hidden passions is one thing. Talking about them is another matter entirely. In addition to my positive, honorable, and spiritual passions, I had to admit I had passions that were stirred by my hurts, failures, family tensions, job problems, personality struggles, secret temptations, deep-felt desires, negative emotions, and bitter disappointments.

Once again I realized that Im one of millions of women who struggle

Today, passion has strongly paradoxical meanings. It can mean any of the emotions (such as hate, grief, love, fear, or joy). It can also refer to an extreme, compelling emotional drive or excitement, such as: (a) great anger, rage, or fury; (b) enthusiasm or fondness; (c) strong love or affection; or (d) sexual drive or desire, including lust.

For the Christian woman, passion also has to do with living for a cause that matters. Its the perspective that no matter what unfair negatives we face, no matter what great personal tragedies come into our lives, there is something more important to look forward to and invest our energies toward.

All of us experience emotional stress and spiritual conflict because of a great dichotomy that stems from birth. These tensions exist because of two basic facts:

Women (and men) are created in the image of God. Genesis 1:27 states, So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. Natural man (woman), created in Gods image, has tremendous potentialintellectually, artistically, and socially. She has a mind and body fashioned after her Makers.